electricity Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 Just curious. Everyone seems to have different ideas of what being "in love" means - couples have different time lines, defining moments, etc. So, discuss when/how you knew it was love, what it means to you, etc. My answer's easy, I still don't know for sure.
quankanne Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 IMO, "in love" refers simply to chemistry. That "magical feeling" you get when you see the person, when everything is fairy-tale perfect and no one can do no wrong ... love, on the other hand, is what sticks around when reality walks through the front door. You know – being grossed out by the fact that he'll scratch his stuff in public or burp without apologizing to those around him, or that she likes to chew her gum with her mouth wide open, like a ruminating bovine. But, because you love that person, you figure you can live with (or help them move past) little idiosyncrasies. Loving someone also means doing your best to do right by that person even when it infringes on your personal space ... when did I know the difference? When I realized it was a sure feeling between me and Mr. Q ... not because I thought he had he prettiest blue eyes, nice legs or was generous, but when I realized a possible future together was a natural feeling when i thought about it. LOL, yeah, I'm talking about nursing homes and rocking chairs on front porch kind of "visions together" – I knew he was someone I could trust myself to share that kind of thing with. and even though he sometimes drives me insane (and vice versa, I'm sure), he's still the one I see myself with ... not because of love or laziness, but because it feels like the natural thing to do.
Star Gazer Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 IMO, "in love" refers simply to chemistry. That "magical feeling" you get when you see the person, when everything is fairy-tale perfect and no one can do no wrong ... love, on the other hand, is what sticks around when reality walks through the front door. You know – being grossed out by the fact that he'll scratch his stuff in public or burp without apologizing to those around him, or that she likes to chew her gum with her mouth wide open, like a ruminating bovine. But, because you love that person, you figure you can live with (or help them move past) little idiosyncrasies. Loving someone also means doing your best to do right by that person even when it infringes on your personal space ... when did I know the difference? When I realized it was a sure feeling between me and Mr. Q ... not because I thought he had he prettiest blue eyes, nice legs or was generous, but when I realized a possible future together was a natural feeling when i thought about it. LOL, yeah, I'm talking about nursing homes and rocking chairs on front porch kind of "visions together" – I knew he was someone I could trust myself to share that kind of thing with. and even though he sometimes drives me insane (and vice versa, I'm sure), he's still the one I see myself with ... not because of love or laziness, but because it feels like the natural thing to do. This is a very good description. For me, the "in love" feeling comes when I look over at him, particularly when he's laughing, and just feel.... woo. Giddy. He makes my eyes twinkle. The "love" feeling comes from being so comfortable and trusting of him to be able to share my darkest fears, my most embarassing moments, my grossest times, etc., and him the same, and know that there's not an ounce of emotion lost... if anything, knowing and accepting those things, and having him accept them too, make me love him even more. Everything I do, every day, is done with the natural confidence that he's "it," and that we'll grow old together, and so that it's gotta be about what's best for "us," not "me," which will necessarily include compromise and sometimes putting him first even when it irritates me.
sally4sara Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 It means your love for them includes wanting touch their genitalia. Such as "I love you but I'm not IN love with you" translates as "I care about you but the thought of being sexual with you is off putting".
CLC2008 Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 It means that the person you fell in love with, shot a dart into your bare bottom that contains a concoction of different types of elements causing you to become goo-goo ga-ga with that person.
deebeechrisyo Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 Looking back at my experiences: longer periods without sex were quickly followed by the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" speech.
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 To me it means being with someone and finding yourself not even able to comprehend wanting to be with anyone else.
carhill Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 To me it means being with someone and finding yourself not even able to comprehend wanting to be with anyone else. Yep, healthy or not, meaning regardless of whether the reality of that 'being with' is healthy or not, it consumes one's emotions. Another aspect, perhaps singular, is I have a sense of the person when they're not around. It's not physical, but rather almost spiritual. It's totally different than 'missing' someone. I don't miss them, rather sense them like they're there. For myself, it's been exceedingly rare; only a couple times in my 51 years on this rock. TBH, regular garden variety infatuation is far more comfortable. Here today and gone tomorrow...
OceanTropic Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 It means appreciating their company, and smiling at the thought of being together. It means genuinely caring for their well-being and believing that no matter what happens, as long as you are together you can bear through anything, because the companionship and intimate feelings you have for each other will pull you through. It means that you have each others backs, even when you hate each others guts.
alphamale Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 Just curious. Everyone seems to have different ideas of what being "in love" means - couples have different time lines, defining moments, etc. So, discuss when/how you knew it was love, what it means to you, etc. love is like walking on air and acting all goofy and stuff
skydiveaddict Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 Just curious. Everyone seems to have different ideas of what being "in love" means - couples have different time lines, defining moments, etc. So, discuss when/how you knew it was love, what it means to you, etc. My answer's easy, I still don't know for sure. It means nothing to me anymore. I dont think it exists for me
Twenty-ten Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 I think it's simply sexual attraction. This and sally4sara's is prob the best description, plus add to that emotional and intellectual attraction WITH sexual. Sexual attraction alone is not love, otherwise we would be in love all the time with all kinds of different people. Just like emotional or intellectual attraction alone is not love, it is merely friendship.
sumdude Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 when did I know the difference? When I realized it was a sure feeling between me and Mr. Q ... not because I thought he had he prettiest blue eyes, nice legs or was generous, but when I realized a possible future together was a natural feeling when i thought about it. LOL, yeah, I'm talking about nursing homes and rocking chairs on front porch kind of "visions together" – I knew he was someone I could trust myself to share that kind of thing with. . Long term? Trust is everything. Having given it to the wrong person in the past and been burned I've learned it is a most precious commodity. It must be earned.
CLC2008 Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 when did I know the difference? When I realized it was a sure feeling between me and Mr. Q ... not because I thought he had he prettiest blue eyes, nice legs or was generous, but when I realized a possible future together was a natural feeling when i thought about it. LOL, yeah, I'm talking about nursing homes and rocking chairs on front porch kind of "visions together" – I knew he was someone I could trust myself to share that kind of thing with. and even though he sometimes drives me insane (and vice versa, I'm sure), he's still the one I see myself with ... not because of love or laziness, but because it feels like the natural thing to do. My comment was the condensed silly version before, but this ^^^, is what I imagined loving someone and being in love means.
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