Defensiveness and names

[turnstone]

Has anyone else noticed that when someone truly believes in something, when they are absolutely happy with their choices, their values and their opinions they don't defend them? I mean, they'll stand by their beliefs etc. but they don't get so angry, or accusatory, or name calling, or emotive, or anything else designed to deflect from the issue? Someone who doesn't feel they have to be defensive seems more able to state their case calmly and factually with no snide remarks or digs.

 

The other thing I've noticed about defensive people [on LS] is their tendency to pick a screen name that extols their virtue or proclaims their innocence in direct contraction to what they're posting about.

 

So - fairs fair, turnstone, why that name? Its become apparent that some think I'm male (I'm not) and I guess it does seem masculine. However, a Turnstone is this a small, highly migratory, wading bird and that sums me up - I'm slight (although I'm 6ft tall), I work all over the world (I'm a journalist) and I was, until I got my big girl panties on, wading in shti.

[FarmGirl]

I wonder what FarmGirl *really* means

 

hehe

[TaraMaiden]

I don't wonder what *TaraMaiden* means.

 

it does exactly what it says on the packet.

[carhill]

My screen name is a shortened version of my best friends sister's first and last names. We've both been caregivers and I use it on forums devoted to caregiving. I also drive a car and live on a small hill in the country, like FarmGirl

[FarmGirl]

Sum (female x wide open spaces) - (city lights + noise) = FarmGirl

 

That my friends is the extent of my remembrance of algebraeic formulations!

[carhill]

Only noise I hear is the cat letting me know the coyotes are getting close....hmm...brb..

[FarmGirl]

Only noise I hear is the cat letting me know the coyotes are getting close....hmm...brb..

 

 

wow a watch cat!

[carhill]

20lb Siamese male. Teeth like a bobcat. I haven't seen him in action but have seen the carcasses. He's pretty defensive about his space

[turnstone]

Ahha! A great excuse to post a pic of the boys

[carhill]

LOL, yeah, they look all cute and fluffy until they're standing on your chest at 4am going 'feed me, human'

 

Ah, just heard the horned owl. He and the cat have an 'understanding' regarding the consumption of rodents. Interesting....now two. Both males; I can tell by the pitch of their calls. Breeding is finished up. Maybe a young male is 'horning' in on territory.

 

Listening to the sounds of nature sure puts all the human defensiveness into perspective.

[seren]

Seren - my name, Welsh for star, other name is Arian, meaning silver. So my name in English means silver star.

[BubbleFreak]

Has anyone else noticed that when someone truly believes in something, when they are absolutely happy with their choices, their values and their opinions they don't defend them? I mean, they'll stand by their beliefs etc. but they don't get so angry, or accusatory, or name calling, or emotive, or anything else designed to deflect from the issue? Someone who doesn't feel they have to be defensive seems more able to state their case calmly and factually with no snide remarks or digs.

 

The other thing I've noticed about defensive people [on LS] is their tendency to pick a screen name that extols their virtue or proclaims their innocence in direct contraction to what they're posting about.

 

Point 1: When someone believes in something, and does not feel the need to justify those beliefs, then there would be no reason to get irked. However, when something someone feels passionate about is threatened, it's only natural to feel they have to defend it. As to the name calling and other aggressive behaviour...I don't think it's a reflection on how strongly they believe in something. I think it's more a case of manners.

 

Point 2: BubbleFreak... I am a freak trapped in a bubble. An awesome bubble.

[Just a stone's throw]

I chose my name because I for one had always believed I was free from making a bad decision like having an A. I had judged my father, my brothers, and others when they had their A's and always said, NOT ME. I'LL NEVER DO THAT TO MY H. Well, I did. I own it and metaphorically, I'm always just a "stone's throw" from making the same kind of choices as others have. I'm no better, no worse and have no right to judge. I just have learned a lesson and choose to want to do the right thing the next time.

 

Carhill, you and FarmGirl sound like you have a cool existance in the country. I live in an urban setting but have quite the wildlife that you wouldn't expect around our neighborhood. Some invited and some more predatory.

[jennie-jennie]

However, when something someone feels passionate about is threatened, it's only natural to feel they have to defend it.

 

So true.

 

Jennie means "fair and yielding". It comes from Guinevere, which is appropriate for this site since queen Guinevere had a love relationship with sir Lancelot whilst being married to King Arthur. They were both good men, and she was a good woman too I believe.

Edited May 18, 2010 by jennie-jennie

[Ann_Igma]

My name is done in the roller derby style of naming, based on a word that suits me down to the ground - enigma.

[bentnotbroken]

Life has bent me in several directions over the years, but it didn't break me. I am stronger than ever. Within God's will of course.

[crazycatlady]

Well, I never claimed to be sane, when talking about my situation with my friends, they all said I was crazy too, so thus the crazy. Plus I can easily see myself either ditching the H (not likely but won't swear in the end this won't happen) or losing him at some point and becoming the crazy old cat lady down the street. Given the tendancy for cats to simply show up at my door and attempt to claim home here - why always the unneutered males too old to prevent spraying?? - I can see it happening.

 

Current count is two indoor males - and three (at least one unneutered male who got in and sprayed thanks to kids at least twice) cats who seem to be claiming us as home. Two of the strays are very skittish. Given the tom, I worry they are queens and I might end up with kittens at some point.

 

Anyway, thus the name.

 

CCL

[Spark1111]

Has anyone else noticed that when someone truly believes in something, when they are absolutely happy with their choices, their values and their opinions they don't defend them? I mean, they'll stand by their beliefs etc. but they don't get so angry, or accusatory, or name calling, or emotive, or anything else designed to deflect from the issue? Someone who doesn't feel they have to be defensive seems more able to state their case calmly and factually with no snide remarks or digs.

 

As the great Bard extolled: "Methinks he doth protest too much!" Those who confidently own the convictions of their actions do not have to constantly defend them to others, IMHO.

 

The other thing I've noticed about defensive people [on LS] is their tendency to pick a screen name that extols their virtue or proclaims their innocence in direct contraction to what they're posting about.

 

So - fairs fair, turnstone, why that name? Its become apparent that some think I'm male (I'm not) and I guess it does seem masculine. However, a Turnstone is this a small, highly migratory, wading bird and that sums me up - I'm slight (although I'm 6ft tall), I work all over the world (I'm a journalist) and I was, until I got my big girl panties on, wading in shti.

 

Spark, a catalyst for change, growth, attraction or incendiery annihilation-- you pick!

 

1111- is actually 11:11, a time that corresponded with too many cosmic coincidences in my life that allows me to believe "someone" is most definitely watching out for me.

 

PK (Pretty Kitty), a feral kitten I rescued at 3 weeks of age when I could not save myself!

 

Now, officially known still as PK (Psycho Kitty). She is a nasty, predatory survivor who is physically beautiful -- a tri-color long-hair who allows petting for 22 seconds before trying to swipe your eyes out. She resides in my mother's room in our house and I am amazed at how well-suited they are to each other.....;)

[FarmGirl]

I chose my name because I for one had always believed I was free from making a bad decision like having an A. I had judged my father, my brothers, and others when they had their A's and always said, NOT ME. I'LL NEVER DO THAT TO MY H. Well, I did. I own it and metaphorically, I'm always just a "stone's throw" from making the same kind of choices as others have. I'm no better, no worse and have no right to judge. I just have learned a lesson and choose to want to do the right thing the next time.

 

Carhill, you and FarmGirl sound like you have a cool existance in the country. I live in an urban setting but have quite the wildlife that you wouldn't expect around our neighborhood. Some invited and some more predatory.

 

I should clarify...part of my life is still in the city while I finish up my moving out plans.

But my entire heart & future livelihood resides on the farm.

Gotta sell the city house asap.

[Snowflower]

 

The other thing I've noticed about defensive people [on LS] is their tendency to pick a screen name that extols their virtue or proclaims their innocence in direct contraction to what they're posting about.

 

 

 

I've sometimes wondered about screen names too. I wonder why some people pick names that seem to define them at that period of time they join LS. Examples..."Devas8ed", "Hoping", etc. (not real screen names, I hope, just ones I came up with off the top of my head)

 

I would hate to have some sort of devastated-sounding screen name attached to all my future posts.

 

Snowflower--I guess I was in a hurry when I picked this name. I wanted something innocuous sounding. Also, where I live there is A LOT of snow. I thought of the first flowers that appear through the snow in early spring, and voila...snowflower.

[Owl]

Owls have been my totem since I was 17. Long story on how that came to be...but it wasn't chosen as a screen name because I consider myself wise or anything...just because it's been part of my name for decades.

 

Now...if I'd chosen a name like Owl-donkey...that might have been more appropriate!

[FryFish]

It is an INCORRECT generalization to say that people who protest and get nasty during their defense of their positions or beliefs are less resolute in those who shrug off attacks.

 

A persons response has NOTHING to do with their level of conviction and EVERYTHING to do with what type of person they are AND how they are feeling at that particular moment.

[witabix]

It is an INCORRECT generalization to say that people who protest and get nasty during their defense of their positions or beliefs are less resolute in those who shrug off attacks.

 

A persons response has NOTHING to do with their level of conviction and EVERYTHING to do with what type of person they are AND how they are feeling at that particular moment.

 

I agree with FryFish, I can be quite passive sometimes and more vociferous other times. Sometimes its the person your talking to combined with the mood your in and the topic under discussion.

 

About screen names, wit - funny, a - the indefinite article, bix - biscuit. Or a funny biscuit. Not Weetabix, oh no, I am no cereal breakfast, don't fool yourself honey, no ones gonna pour hot milk on me and lap it up ........... wait no....hang on, what was I saying?

[StoptheDrama]

My screen name is an easy one; it's the reason I started reading and posting on LS. It's what I needed to do for me.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Mine is real random; I happened to be perusing "Canterbury Tales" the day I registered. I'm not even a particular Chaucer scholar or anything, though I was an English Lit major back in the day ...