Laugher Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 So I met a guy a few months ago and we ended up going on a few dates together. Before our last date we were texting and both agreed not to get too heavy as we were both only single a few months. We both agreed though that we really enjoy each others company and will be friends for a while and see what happens. We never had sex, just kissed. So on the last date, we had a great time as usual but at the end I didnt kiss him as I normally would, I just hugged him. Anyway after that day he sent me a lovely message saying how glad he was that he met me and that I had given him some of his confidence back and no matter what we ended up being to each other he really wanted me in his life, even if I decide I just want to be friends. I thought this was really nice as a lot of guys wouldnt be like that. So it was coming up to xmas and I asked him if he wanted to go on a night out, he said yes he would check his work scheduale and let me know. He kept in touch but never mentioned meeting up. I had asked already so didnt want to keep pestering him and thought id leave it in his hands. Then he stopped contacting me so much and I havnt seen him in about 5 months although he still texts every couple of weeks. He never mentions meeting up, just general chit chat! So im wondering did he loose interest and if so why does he still contact me? But at the same time I know he lacks confidence so then I wonder is he waiting on me to ask him? Did me not kissing him on the last date make him feel rejected? Its just annoying because even though we only met up a few times, we got quite close and confided in each other. I dont want to seem like an annoying girl by putting him on the spot and asking him to do something again...any ideas? p.s we have a mutual friend so I know he is not involved with anyone else.
brainygirl Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 I think he probably thinks you aren't interested in him. He read the lack of kissing as lack of interest and attraction. If you are interested in a romantic relationship, contact him and tell him and see for sure where he stands.
skydiveaddict Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 You friend-zoned him and he picked up on that. !!!!!!!Agreed!!!!!
Author Laugher Posted May 18, 2010 Author Posted May 18, 2010 How do I reverse the friend zone or is too late?
deebeechrisyo Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 Wow, it's pretty rare that a girl wants to undo her own friend-zoning. I would just tell him how you really feel, and that you actually meant what you said. I'm sure he liked you, since you guys went out on multiple dates. While it's almost impossible to turn a woman "friend" into a romantic partner, guys are much more easily swayed. For future reference though: even if you meant it, a guy who hears "i want to take things slow" is translated as a textbook friend-zoning. The fact that you didn't kiss him after the talk, when you guys have kissed before, is adding salt to the bullet wound.
skydiveaddict Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 Call or text him. Tell him you had a great time w/him and you want to do it again. Then the next time you two go out just plant a kiss on him...Problem solved
Author Laugher Posted May 18, 2010 Author Posted May 18, 2010 haha im laughing here because everything you guys are making sense and seems so obvious but all this is so new to me I didnt realise. (havnt been single in a few years). Thanks for the advice!
Green Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 You could say something like "I've been thinking about you a lot lately and wish we could do something"... but I dunno this guy seems lame, I would have tried ripping ur clothes off by now... and would have given you the "Your my gf and I'm your bf speech so don't be getting to friendly with other guys".... If i didn't like you I would not initiate contact with you and keep replies brief. IF this guy likes you he is lame for not asking you out and letting his animal side take over and doing heavy make out, touching, and sex.
Author Laugher Posted May 18, 2010 Author Posted May 18, 2010 You could say something like "I've been thinking about you a lot lately and wish we could do something"... but I dunno this guy seems lame, I would have tried ripping ur clothes off by now... and would have given you the "Your my gf and I'm your bf speech so don't be getting to friendly with other guys".... If i didn't like you I would not initiate contact with you and keep replies brief. IF this guy likes you he is lame for not asking you out and letting his animal side take over and doing heavy make out, touching, and sex. God Green you would have scared the living day lights out of me!!
brainygirl Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 IF this guy likes you he is lame for not asking you out and letting his animal side take over and doing heavy make out, touching, and sex. I dunno, sound good to me . . .
deebeechrisyo Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 I prefer a make out on the first date. A kiss (on the lips) is fine too. Even if I get the cheek turn, it's OK. It's more about the fact that I had the confidence to go in and do it than the result. If my confidence was high, I know the date probably went well. If I read it wrong and I don't see her again, who cares my confidence is still high!
Recommended Posts