mimidarlin Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 Wow...next week my divorce should be final. A month ago I though I thought I would dread this happening. Now...maybe looking forward to it. The STBX and I had some confrontations during discussions about the divorce process. After some awful verbal abuse from the ex I realized how much he had changed over the years. He was never abusive during our marriage. Distant but never abusive. Suddenly, I'm looking at him and thinking "who the hell are you?" He isn't someone I want to be with at all. Does this mean the divorce won't bother me? I don't know. I've met someone who interests me a lot. Not sure where this relationship will go but I am enjoying the distraction.
mikeymad Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 The day will come where it is final. You will either be in court, or get the document mailed to you. Either way, it will suck, just because of the finality of the life you had; the dreams, the plans, all coming to a close. The whole process changes people undoubtedly. My xW said and did some pretty nasty things that I could never imagine, especially coming from her. She wanted out, and wanted to burn every bridge possible. I don't think I could ever hate another person, but I have very negative feelings towards the way she treated me. Then looking back, you will see it as a day of freedom. Freedom can be a good or bad thing depending on. Specific days your/his bday/ holidays will stink, because of the memories associated with them. If you look at them as "just another day", you can manage...and when you are about to go to sleep that night, you can congratulate yourself on getting through it, because the next day will be easier. Remember to take care of yourself. Mixed feelings are common.
Author mimidarlin Posted May 18, 2010 Author Posted May 18, 2010 Thanks Mikey, I do need to remember that good and bad days are in the future. This new guy has me on a relationship "high" so I'm worried that I might be blindsided. The marriage ending is bittersweet. It's made me realize some things about myself. I focused on making the ex happy or at least not disturbing him. We stopped communicating well. He withdrew...I got scared and didn't want to upset him. This caused me to withdraw. Suddenly I started feeling more like my old self. Once I accepted that I did not want to be with him. The new guy makes me feel amazing. The STBX wasn't really a bad guy but not expressive at all. The new man expresses himself all of the time. It's such a contrast. The way it makes me feel is such a contrast. I'm happy. Really really happy. Forgot what it felt like. So two important things I'm learning. Your attitude might change if you can let go of what you thought you had...the past you thought you had and the future. Really analyze how you feel. Don't you deserve to be happy? Keep yourself open. You never know what might fall into your lap. I certainly didn't expect the new guy. Was completely prepared to date a string of men I wasn't interested in really. Figured I would have to work my way back into the dating scene. Suddenly someone popped on the scene. Both of us have been really burned. Infidelity etc. He had to work hard to get past my wall. That wall of distrust. The question I ask...are there really not many singles out there to interest us or do we turn off the ones that are worth something? Gunny... Good ones, like me, don't stay on the market long
carhill Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 Hey, lucky you. Glad to read. Women stay away from me in droves, except the married ones. I'm now questioning why I let stbx be the petitioner. Three mis-files. We should be done by now. Blah.... I hate having to get my lawyer involved to get the paperwork shoved through but it might come to that. I've got a cruise planned and the court seal needs to match up
Recommended Posts