1.5 years later

[e.clipse]

so, i guess you could say it's been about 1.5 years since i broke up with pp (my exbf). i think we hooked up some times after that and even pretended to get back together for, like, a week and ****, but . . . yea, it was December of '08 when it really ended. or was it February of '09?

 

whatever, the point is that is has been a while.

 

since we broke up, i've come a long way. i think. yes...

 

it just feels like everyone is paired up, and i am always not.

 

am i too ugly? boring? fat? stupid? quiet? sleepy?

 

i'm so tired of being drunk every weekend. like, take this last Friday, for example: it was a little bit chilly and i was a little bit tired. when i asked myself what i would have liked to have been doing, as i sat in the backseat of my friend's car on our way to a club, i realized i wanted to be in my pjs, not some slutty skirt, in sandals, not some mega-heels, on a bed, not a car seat, with one, not many . . .

 

being at home with "my BF," watching movies, maybe having a drink, eating some food, just being us...on a chilly night seemed SO good.

 

but instead, i went in there and got trashed to the point of no return and crawled into my bed at 8am the next morning.

 

sigh.

 

sometimes i think that no one will ever love me again. but then, other times, i think i will never love anyone again.

 

this sucks, yo.

Edited May 17, 2010 by e.clipse

[Star Gazer]

i'm so tired of being drunk every weekend. like, take this last Friday, for example: it was a little bit chilly and i was a little bit tired. when i asked myself what i would have liked to have been doing, as i sat in the backseat of my friend's car on our way to a club, i realized i wanted to be in my pjs, not some slutty skirt, in sandals, not some mega-heels, on a bed, not a car seat, with one, not many . . .

 

I think we've all been there.

 

For me, any many of my girlfriends, we hit that point shortly before finding "the one."

 

Have a little patience, and a little faith... and start spending time alone, or with a close group of girlfriends, but not out at the bars. It will come.

[brainygirl]

I know it can be hard to get over being seriously in love with someone. But it also sounds like you may be depressed. Look at all the people on the boards, all the people who go out to clubs and bars, and all the people on online dating sites. There are lots of people who feel lonely for a partner.

 

I also think you need to change your patterns of behavior. There isn't anything wrong with getting dressed up and going out, but if you do it because you want to drink yourself into oblivion or because you think you have to, your doing it for the wrong reasons.

 

Try changing some of your patterns and maybe go for a walk or something. Also, think about seeing a doctor about the possibility of counseling or medications.

[e.clipse]

I think we've all been there.

 

For me, any many of my girlfriends, we hit that point shortly before finding "the one."

 

Have a little patience, and a little faith... and start spending time alone, or with a close group of girlfriends, but not out at the bars. It will come.

 

the only problem with spending time alone is that if i do that, i will seriously not leave the house. i like to be inside, maybe a little too much. and when i do go out to places that are liver-friendly, like bookstores or whatever loser-type of activity, i am so awkward.

 

no one ever showed me how to be normal in public.

 

But it also sounds like you may be depressed.

 

hi, and thanks.

 

i am not (clinically) depressed; i am just an unhappy/morose individual by nature.

[brainygirl]

the only problem with spending time alone is that if i do that, i will seriously not leave the house. i like to be inside, maybe a little too much. and when i do go out to places that are liver-friendly, like bookstores or whatever loser-type of activity, i am so awkward.

 

no one ever showed me how to be normal in public.

 

 

 

hi, and thanks.

 

i am not (clinically) depressed; i am just an unhappy/morose individual by nature.

 

You'd be surprised. . . anyway, don't worry so much about being awkward . . . everyone is, they are just better at pretending not to be. It takes practice.

[alphamale]

sometimes i think that no one will ever love me again.

no someone will love u again