ButtonMoon Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 Hi all, this takes a little bit of explaining but it's about how I recently ended things with a guy I was dating... So I dated this guy that I met online for just a few weeks (5 dates) and although I got on very well with him and thought he was a lovely person, I was not attracted to him. I realized this fairly early on but I wanted to meet up with him a few times to see if my feelings for him could develop - I liked him so much as a person that I was hoping for more. However, on what would be our final date we ended up having a really serious relationship conversation (he initiated it) and I became worried that he might already really like me, and he seemed to already be hoping things would get serious between us. I thought about it the next day and knew for sure that I couldn't date him any longer in the hopes that my attraction for him would grow - I didn't want to string him along and end up hurting him, and 5 dates was surely enough for me to make up my mind. I knew the best thing to do would be to arrange to meet and tell him face to face that I wanted to end it, but as that wasn't possible over the weekend, I waited a few days to contact him (as we were only dating briefly we would not have been in contact every day anyway). We generally contacted each other via text so when I was next at work I sent him a text asking how his weekend went and he texted back awhile later. However, I was distracted in work and I couldn't reply to him straight away. Before I got a chance to reply he sent another text asking if things were finished between us. He thought this because I hadn't contacted him over the weekend and also the fact that I hadn't replied yet to his text. Well, I didn't want to lie to him so when I replied I said I would not have deliberately ended things via text message but that yes, I thought he was looking for a serious relationship, which I wasn't ready for, and I then asked if he would like to meet later to talk about it. He replied that he was sorry if he had pressurized me and could we just go back to hanging out and enjoying each others company. But I felt this would have been stringing him along so I said no - that it would be better to end things now. I honestly had not intended to end it that way - I fully realize ending things via text message is disrespectful and cowardly. But he asked by text and I didn't want to lie - and yes, on the spur of the moment I guess I took the opportunity of an out. I feel guilty and ashamed about this now - I realize I could have made an excuse and said I can't talk about it now lets meet later. But I didn't, at the time I thought well he asked for it and so I'll let him have it. I've been beating myself up about this ever since. Would anyone else like to join in, or do you think I'm blowing things out of proportion?
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