break up... make up... how to???

[annabelle84]

Hi everyone!

 

So my ex boyfriend and I dated for 4 year (a little more), we were really close but he broke up with me a while ago. I admit that towards the end I've been taking him for granted and treated him a bit poorly. He told me that he still loved me and that there was nobody else in the picture, but he need to be alone. I gave him many solutions in order for us to work out.... he said he didn't believe that it would work.

I didn't take the break up well... two days later I was contacting him trying to convince him to tak me back, but he said he wouldn't. He needed time... he didnt know if we would be back together...

I end up telling him that I love him and went he felt he wanted to talk to me that he could. Then I gracefully steped out.

Nothing for a week... after that I went to his hi5 and he took me out of his friends list, erased all my comments and pictures and set his mood to "happy"! he alsso uploaded pictures of him and is friends. I know this last part about he friends doesn't soun important, but it is, because he aded a girl that he was friends with and I never liked her. He has put her as his top friend (instead of me). I also found out that before he broke up with me... when we had that last fight, he went out with his friends among which was her.

Iam having a hard time facing all of this and mostly trying to understand how someone is so close to you one week and the next acts like that. (my sister even went behind my back and asked him if they were together and he didn't answer the sms... maybe its just me being paranoid).

 

Iam telling you all of these details, because I want to know what you guys think.. and most of all, I see now what I did wrong... know were I failed...! I love him and i want him back... i'll do anything!

 

I know most of you will tell me to move on... but that's not an option for me. Given this situaations can you guys please advise me in how to win thim back. Please! Should I give him time? How long? How should I approach him?....

 

thank you very much

 

AnnaBelle

[alltoomuch]

hi, i feel like i am reading about my situation i am in exactly the same boat. I dont understand how one minute we are having the time of our lives and we are happy then ever, then he is erasing me from his life.

 

i have a friend who went through the same and she reccommend the book men are from mars women are from venus, in particular the rubber band theory.

 

basically it means that they feel like they lose there independence and become distant when we get full on, it is just a case of time is the best thing to do. give them to space to regain who they are and if they realise they miss and love you then they will come back. it hurts like hell and contact is the only urge we have to make things right and get answers, but they are not ready for it.

 

my ex said to me that if in 3 or 4 weeks he feels diferently thenwe will try again. it is a bit too much of a what if for me and i have now got to find peace somewhere else. seeing friends and trying the best i can to get on with my life. not a day goes by when i miss my ex i love him with all my heart but if there is any chance of a reconcilliation i have to let him go. if i find someone else in the meantime that will give me the things that i want then so be it, his loss but without it it will only get worse not better if you try and patch things up too soon, he will only resent you.

 

we all deserve happiness but often it finds us and things happen for a reason. my mum always says to me you always hurt the people you love the most. keep that in mind and you will get by x

[collegemommy]

Ok, it sounds like we went down similiar paths.

 

My ex and I have been friends since I was 2 years old and we dated for close to 5 years. We mutually walked our separate ways. I was fine with this until I found out he had a girlfriend (ok, it wasn't that serious but they were sleeping together) a week after we split up. I was devastated. I truly believe I did a lot of damage to any chances we had on working things out because I acted completely psychotic in the beginning. The first week I was fine, the second week was me acting like a complete head case. I sent a million texts, I called a lot, I cornered him when he came to my house, I would hang out with his mom, and I even talked to his new girlfriend.

 

Anyway, my best advice for you is to not contact him. I know that sounds like the opposite of what you want but seriously, I wish I had listened when others told me to do the same thing. It will either help your ex to realize what he is missing (absence makes the hard grow fonder) or it will help you to heal. Either way it's a win, win for you.

 

Stop talking to him and for goodness sakes, do not pay attention to any profiles he has. Do not look at them at all! It will only cause more pain and then you are simply torturing yourself for no real reason.

 

I hope all works out for you!!