never had a one night stand

[OpenGL]

After she leaves, a whore will still be remain in the apartment.

 

Let's not forget he's just as "whorish" to have a ONS.

 

One whore in the apartment is enough.

[marsle85]

Who gets this most chicks?

 

The players that the girls KNOWS sleeps around.

 

The calvin klein models that the girls KNOWS sleeps.

 

The highschool/college jocks that the girls KNOWS sleeps around.

 

 

OR maybe these are the men who are more WILLING to pursue and are more aggressive. You'll never win, if you're not in the game.

[OpenGL]

OR maybe these are the men who are more WILLING to pursue and are more aggressive. You'll never win, if you're not in the game.

These men don't need to pursue.

[Twenty-ten]

Sadly, as for the standards of those same women, he does not meet himself (physically).

 

 

You're wrong, I am one of those women and as I said earlier in the thread a guy who is selective in this respect is very attractive to me. He would more than meet my standards.

Question is, do you care to believe me when I tell you that?

 

And no I am not some fugly chick who thinks beauty is only on the inside, I am as superficial as the next guy/girl. I was never EVER attracted to slutty guys. They do nothing for me. It's very hot to meet a guy who has it going on and yet who also has standards. That is the ultimate sex appeal a man could have. The idea, that he can say "no I don't want that" if he wants to is more hot than a guy who can say yes 100 times to 100 floozies. Makes me want him even more.

[marsle85]

These men don't need to pursue.

 

Speculation. Trial and error accompanied with their (+) appearance will increase their confidence and they will in turn, become comfortable interacting with women... thus, encounter more women, and statistically sleep with more women.

[Engadget]

Speculation. Trial and error accompanied with their (+) appearance will increase their confidence and they will in turn, become comfortable interacting with women... thus, encounter more women, and statistically sleep with more women.

 

Do you approve of that type of behavior? I get the impression you do, not that I'm judging you.

 

I like being the guy that can get laid, but chooses not to. I get to be the one with the control and the final say.

[marsle85]

Do you approve of that type of behavior? I get the impression you do, not that I'm judging you.

 

I like being the guy that can get laid, but chooses not to. I get to be the one with the control and the final say.

 

No, no... this isn't about approving or disapproving- I'm just trying to clarify why mathematically, better looking men with confidence are more likely to sleep with more women, more often.

 

As for me, I don't sleep around casually- but there's always that gorgeous, quiet guy who doesn't DO anything, while I wish he would- and it's very likely I would have atleast made out with him, haha.

 

Understand- I am a cute, smart girl, but I do not pursue or chase guys. So the pool of guys I interact with romantically are those that go after ME- that shrinks the pool considerably for women, even if they wish that quiet guy would get off his ass.

[Twenty-ten]

That's pretty much me, and it's not easy. Yes I want to get laid, however I'd rather have sex with a girl I care about than random sex.

 

I even told this one girl right off the bat that I was just trying to be friends and get to know her. Now, she says I'm a player, I'm trying to get in her pants, etc. etc. when I've done nothing to make her think that.

 

You see but there are so many people out there who don't understand the concept of being selective that their gut reaction is "oh has penis problems," or "he is hiding something" or "he is not sexual enough" or god knows what other slew of falsities people come up with to justify their disbelief.

[Engadget]

No, no... this isn't about approving or disapproving- I'm just trying to clarify why mathematically, better looking men with confidence are more likely to sleep with more women, more often.

 

As for me, I don't sleep around casually- but there's always that gorgeous, quiet guy who doesn't DO anything, while I wish he would- and it's very likely I would have atleast made out with him, haha.

 

Understand- I am a cute, smart girl, but I do not pursue or chase guys. So the pool of guys I interact with romantically are those that go after ME- that shrinks the pool considerably for women, even if they wish that quiet guy would get off his ass.

 

Hey, you can get off your behind and approach him! I talk to and flirt with almost all women I meet (gets me into a lot of trouble, recently lost a side view mirror on my car and was threatened by another boyfriend) but unless I get some connection beyond physical attraction, I won't make a move.

 

Like the other night, girl gave me every signal in the book and I didn't go for it, because I don't really feel that way towards her.

[dreamingoftigers]

OP, please don't take this advice. This is yet another example of a woman saying one thing and thinking/feeling the exact opposite.

 

It is not attractive to women that you don't have a promiscuous past.

 

That's ridiculous!! I hate the fact that my h had a promiscious past, I NEVER found it attractive. I think it just shows the quality of women you must pursue if they would find it unattractive that you didn't have a promiscuous past.

 

I would find the OP far more datable based on attitude alone.

[dreamingoftigers]

You and the OP can believe what you want, but most players (for example, SteveC80 can back me up on this) will tell you women hate guys who don't sleep around with a lot of women. Women want guys who they know can leave them on the drop of a hat and screw another woman that same day if he wanted to.

 

Hello! Clearly these are the women who get picked up by players, so what does that tell you?

 

I think that that attitude is gross, and always have. I have had predator guys like this on my butt for years (players) even after I chunked out post-pregnancy, ugh. I just don't get the attraction at all, it's like a one-way trip to STD-ville.

[dreamingoftigers]

These men don't need to pursue.

 

What I have noticed is that the guys/girls that make themselves available for an easy/cheap lay tend to get more action because they have that kind of reputation. So that anyone of the opposite gender that gets too hard up can just get the services, the people making themselves available aren't taken too seriously and I don't know too many people that would enter into a relationship with them.

 

If you keep your standards and self-respect low, you can have as much sex as you want.

[Mimolicious]

Who gets this most chicks?

 

The players that the girls KNOWS sleeps around.

 

The calvin klein models that the girls KNOWS sleeps.

 

The highschool/college jocks that the girls KNOWS sleeps around.

 

 

How old are you? You sound 18. Sh*t like that may slide in HS and prob first year of college. NEXT! Go hang out with the Jersey shore cast.

[carhill]

If you keep your standards and self-respect low, you can have as much sex as you want.

 

Boy, I saw a real good example of that this past weekend but it's TMI for this forum. Also, a bit of mental illness enters so unclear as to the veracity of the sampling. Essentially, though, for a man, if he pursues anything with a vagina aggressively enough, he'll have sexual success. For a woman, if she signals 'open house', the line is down the street. The hard part is getting by these bumping bunnies when one has no such proclivities. I saw that effect on a good, stable, loving man this past weekend. It messed with his psyche. The difference for myself has been, with clear boundaries, I can now see their path much more quickly and understandably, and can accept and avoid it. My friend, not so much. I won't recommend marriage, MC and divorce to him as a learning device

[brainygirl]

Can I just say I love how there is so much back and forth and I think two people have admitted to having a ONS.

 

For the record, I have.

 

Why? Because sex is a physical need as much as air, water and food are. (look up a dude maned Maslow if you want to check my information). Masturbation gets old, life is sometimes too busy to pursue a real relationship and I ( and I am assuming other people) get very difficult to be around (hell its difficult to live in my own skin when I'm like that) if I'm over frustrated.

 

So I find someone temporary. They knows its temporary and I know its temporary.

 

Does this make me some horrible promiscous undatable woman?

 

I doubt it. I don't go to clubs and bars, I dress conservatively and I have a zero disclosure policy regarding my past.

 

That all being said, if it isn't something you want, it isn't something you want. If you can't get into it, then don't waste anyone's time. Sex is a very private and personal thing and what is right for one person is not right for another. I am not in a relationship and most men I know are too banal, unintelligent, and high maintaince for me to bother being in relationships with.

 

Don't feel bad for your preferences. Don't try to justify them and don't brag about them. Its just who you are. Nothing wrong with that.

[Mimolicious]

 

So I find someone temporary. They knows its temporary and I know its temporary.

 

.

 

Those are not ONS... that's a fling. Someone who you shortly date, have few rounds with and short-lived.

 

Do you meet someone have sex with them, never see them again do it all over again every 3 days?

[brainygirl]

Those are not ONS... that's a fling. Someone who you shortly date, have few rounds with and short-lived.

 

Do you meet someone have sex with them, never see them again do it all over again every 3 days?

 

If they don't annoy me . . . I'll call them again. But there is no dating. No out ot dinner, no go see or rent a movie, just "I'm horny and have two free hours, can you get over here".

 

And go do it again in three days with a different person? I have, not often though. Mostly because I don't have that much free time and because if I got what I needed from the first go round I'm not at a point of wanting more that soon.

 

If a guy annoys me, isn't that great or says something moronic and I don't ever call him or see him again, then it is a one night stand. That happens about half the time.

[Mimolicious]

If they don't annoy me . . . I'll call them again. But there is no dating. No out ot dinner, no go see or rent a movie, just "I'm horny and have two free hours, can you get over here".

 

And go do it again in three days with a different person? I have, not often though. Mostly because I don't have that much free time and because if I got what I needed from the first go round I'm not at a point of wanting more that soon.

 

If a guy annoys me, isn't that great or says something moronic and I don't ever call him or see him again, then it is a one night stand. That happens about half the time.

 

 

Dayum! Hope you meet an amazing guy soon!.

[brainygirl]

Dayum! Hope you meet an amazing guy soon!.

 

Seriously considering checking out of the whole thing for a while. Too much drama. Not enough return for the trouble.

 

That being said, ask me how its going in a couple of weeks when my cycle peaks. (with women its always cyclical - best time to hit on a woman is when she is ovulating or in the week before she starts her period.)

[Twenty-ten]

And go do it again in three days with a different person?

 

That would fall under the definition of promiscuity, regardless how conservatively a person dresses. No one is disputing that wanting sex isn't natural though.

 

Either way, it's different for women, your example is fine but the OP is male and males have different pressures in this respect. Women can hold court when it comes to deciding on having sex, for men it's tougher. And as seen in this example, men pressure other men into believing that women think successful men have to be promiscuous because women will think less of them if they are not. I think this is where the pressure stems from. It was demonstrated here nicely.

[brainygirl]

That would fall under the definition of promiscuity, regardless how conservatively a person dresses. No one is disputing that wanting sex isn't natural though.

 

Either way, it's different for women, your example is fine but the OP is male and males have different pressures in this respect. Women can hold court when it comes to deciding on having sex, for men it's tougher. And as seen in this example, men pressure other men into believing that women think successful men have to be promiscuous because women will think less of them if they are not. I think this is where the pressure stems from. It was demonstrated here nicely.

 

I have never once taken a guy's sexual experience into account when I decided weather or not to approach him. I don't even ask about their sexual past. I don't consider it any more my business than my sexual past is his.

 

I also don't know about holding court. I've been turned down before.

 

My only suggestion on the matter is to 1) don't do it unless you are mature enough to handle it and emotionally stable enough to handle it. Having sex with someone does not make her your girlfriend or boyfriend. 2) Be safe. Be safe. Be safe. 3) If you get bad vibes off someone or feel uncomfortable, put a stop to the situation and leave or get them outta there.

 

Honestly, a man's sexual past isn't what women are looking for. Its partially attraction, and partially mental compatibility. I usually have enough in common with the guys I sleep with that we can talk about movies or shows or books. They are also all very polite to me. Speaking to a woman like you think she is a slut or nasty is the fastest way to turn her off.

[Twenty-ten]

I have never once taken a guy's sexual experience into account when I decided weather or not to approach him. I don't even ask about their sexual past. I don't consider it any more my business than my sexual past is his.

 

 

That doesn't surprise me, you are quite liberal about your sexual needs so in your case you would not consider his sexual past either way. That makes sense. Most women who have contributed to this discussion who are not as liberal about their sexuality are more discriminant about a guy's sexual past and would actually appreciate a less promiscuous guy.

 

Some, have a hard time believing this.

 

 

Even so, would you consider a guy who has never had a ONS undesirable or see him as nerdy or geeky because of that?

[brainygirl]

That doesn't surprise me, you are quite liberal about your sexual needs so in your case you would not consider his sexual past either way. That makes sense. Most women who have contributed to this discussion who are not as liberal about their sexuality are more discriminant about a guy's sexual past and would actually appreciate a less promiscuous guy.

 

Some, have a hard time believing this.

 

 

Even so, would you consider a guy who has never had a ONS undesirable or see him as nerdy or geeky because of that?

 

It wouldn't even be on the list of things I look at. If he said he hadn't ever done that I'd make sure he was comfortable with the situation. If he said he did that sort of thing all the time I'd be like ok with it too.

 

As to being liberal or conservative with sexuality, it comes with time. It comes with getting comfortable with your own sexual desires and needs. As women we are programed to desire sex, but society tells us its bad and dirty. It isn't.

 

If my attitude is a turn off for some guys, oh well. I don't live my life for the approval of others.

[Twenty-ten]

It wouldn't even be on the list of things I look at. If he said he hadn't ever done that I'd make sure he was comfortable with the situation. If he said he did that sort of thing all the time I'd be like ok with it too.

 

As to being liberal or conservative with sexuality, it comes with time. It comes with getting comfortable with your own sexual desires and needs. As women we are programed to desire sex, but society tells us its bad and dirty. It isn't.

 

If my attitude is a turn off for some guys, oh well. I don't live my life for the approval of others.

 

 

Ok that's what I thought, women are not put off by a guy who has never had a ONS regardless of how they themselves see sex. So this idea that men have to be like this for the approval of women is simply a myth created by men for men.

 

 

As per the becoming more comfortable about it in time, I doubt it personally. I am closer to 40 than I am to 20 so I don't foresee my actions changing any time soon if ever. If I am not with someone who I can date I don't feel the need for sex, to me sex and emotion are intertwined. Sure I get horny when I am not with someone, but I deal with it on my own. I have had sex when not in love and it is not satisfying for me. It feels pointless. So for this reason alone I know I won't be changing my ways. But more power to those ladies who can go out and compartmentalize sex and emotions. I am simply not wired that way, I want it all or nothing.

 

Loved your last line, people should be comfortable in who they choose to be. That's really what it's all about.

Edited May 18, 2010 by Twenty-ten

[Woggle]

I hate to agree with the other guys but many women like to compete with other women so a man that sleeps around will be more desirable. I know that when I am in a relationship or dating around I get much more play then when I am alone and doing my thing. I don't know if it is promiscuity but women like what other women want or what other women have. If a man is all about respecting women or not using them as objects women tend to see him as weak and being is the worst trait a man can have in a woman's eyes.