never had a one night stand

[knightzen]

I am 32 now and have never had a one night stand. I cant physically do this even though I may really want to try it. I also hate the typical game playing of clubs and bars in order to achieve the one night, I dont know why I just feel that I really have to like the person in order to be with them, perhaps I have never been able to seperate love from just sex.

My last proper girlfriend was 3 years ago, and we broke up as she left me to go overseas, and I later found out that she had been cheating whilst we were together.

Anyway I suffered depression since, and have not regained my feet, and I still feel ultimately deceived of having been lied to as she had always promoted herself as being unconditionally faithful whilst we were together and would get angry at me if I even looked at another woman.

Anyway someone suggested (A girl) who I told this to that I should let it out of my system and have a one night stand, but I just cant pull myself to do this, physically or mentally. I am really finding it hard to know what to do next.

[OpenGL]

It's not easy getting a one night stand even if you really wanted to, you have to be very good looking or luck up on some drunk girl in the club.

 

I've done it, and it's not really all it's cracked up to be. After you bust the first and only thing you think about for the rest of the night is how to get this random club whore out of your apartment.

[Engadget]

They're not anything special to me, I'd rather something with more meaning. This one girl I've been seeing obviously wants me to make a move, but I've refused to for that reason.

[carhill]

OP, why fight your intrinsic psychology? Accept it. A no-ONS life is your path. What's so wrong with that?

 

I've never had one either. It doesn't align with my perspective on sex and intimacy. One path of billions. Enjoy

[deebeechrisyo]

I've regretted all of my one night stands through college, and haven't had any since. They are very unfilfilling and you don't mean a damn thing to the girl. I'm not saying you shouldn't have one, just don't believe you are missing out or are a lesser man for not having one.

[Mimolicious]

Neither have I. I am 32, was married for a long long time to my first and high school sweet heart. I met someone that I honestly had the intention of it just being a "one night stand", attempt failed! We ended up dating for a few months. LOL!

 

I feel the same way. I cant just give my body to someone just because or because I have needs...

[Twenty-ten]

I think it's SUPER attractive that you never had and have no desire to. Honestly, it's hot!

 

I would flaunt that every chance you get with women.

There is nothing great about having ONSs, not one thing.

 

(PS I've never had one either, but I am not ashamed of it or make excuses for it and I love it that way)

[OpenGL]

I think it's SUPER attractive that you never had and have no desire to. Honestly, it's hot!

 

OP, please don't take this advice. This is yet another example of a woman saying one thing and thinking/feeling the exact opposite.

 

It is not attractive to women that you don't have a promiscuous past.

[Kaplan]

I've never had one (I'm a guy, by the way.) I don't really believe in them. A one-night stand seems somehow wrong to me, like you're pretending to feel something for the other person or something.

 

Anyway, don't have one if you're the kind of person who doesn't believe in it. I'm pretty sure it won't help you. If you're upset about your ex, you'll still have to get over it some other way. It's not like those problems are just going to go away after the one-night stand.

[Mimolicious]

OP, please don't take this advice. This is yet another example of a woman saying one thing and thinking/feeling the exact opposite.

 

It is not attractive to women that you don't have a promiscuous past.

 

 

I didn't know you were the entire world's spokesperson.

 

A man with a promiscuous past is no better than a chick that is the neighborhood bike. Love the double standards here.

[Disciple of Mystery]

Dude, i have the same feelings. im also having a hard time separating the 2 things (sex and love). even though im not a virgin anymore i realized what i should have done. That is not even having a one night stand to begin with.

 

so now im just mingling with ladies instead of going too far. some girls like it, and you avoid the sluts at the same time that way. plus do it when you are ready. as for me im taking the traditional route when it comes to having sex again. i learned my mistakes.

but never hold back from meeting new girls, EVER. plus i love the game of meeting women and enjoying their company. test your limits of meeting girls and see how many phone numbers you will get in return.

 

Lovesystems.com

[Engadget]

I think it's SUPER attractive that you never had and have no desire to. Honestly, it's hot!

 

I would flaunt that every chance you get with women.

There is nothing great about having ONSs, not one thing.

 

(PS I've never had one either, but I am not ashamed of it or make excuses for it and I love it that way)

 

I have to explain to women that I'm not trying to get in their pants. I may flirt with them, but I don't want to and THEY DON'T BELIEVE ME.

 

I think they're so jaded by guys trying to do just that every time, that when a guy says they aren't they think he's lying.

[OpenGL]

I didn't know you were the entire world's spokesperson.

 

A man with a promiscuous past is no better than a chick that is the neighborhood bike. Love the double standards here.

 

You and the OP can believe what you want, but most players (for example, SteveC80 can back me up on this) will tell you women hate guys who don't sleep around with a lot of women. Women want guys who they know can leave them on the drop of a hat and screw another woman that same day if he wanted to.

[Engadget]

You and the OP can believe what you want, but most players (for example, SteveC80 can back me up on this) will tell you women hate guys who don't sleep around with a lot of women. Women want guys who they know can leave them on the drop of a hat and screw another woman that same day if he wanted to.

 

Are you joking? SteveC80 isn't a reliable source for anything, and now apparently neither are you.

[OpenGL]

Are you joking? SteveC80 isn't a reliable source for anything, and now apparently neither are you.

 

On the contrary, he is probably one of the most reliable sources on the forum. Hopefully the OP will take cue from sources of people who actually get women rather than the women themselves, which is the worse source for dating advice on earth.

[Engadget]

On the contrary, he is probably one of the most reliable sources on the forum. Hopefully the OP will take cue from sources of people who actually get women rather than the women themselves, which is the worse source for dating advice on earth.

 

Steve is clearly an internet braggart, which shows right off the bat that it can't possibly be true.

[carhill]

So, OP, have you considered getting treatment for your depression and improving your self-esteem to augment your intrinsic perspective of united sex and intimacy?

 

IMO, whether or not you have ONS has little to nothing to do with having healthy and satisfying intimate relationships. You won't be having those with an ONS, by definition. Work on self. Share self with compatible partner. Enjoy life, regardless

[bac]

ONSs are not my thing in general. But, at some point in my life, I decided to try that for logical reasons such as that ONSs are better than a dry spell forever.

From my experience, it can be fine in certain circumstances. For example, doing ONS with a person whose physical characteristics are totally out of your league. In other words, if the ONS's person is super sexy, good-looking, very young, passionate, sweet and kind, you are going to remember it positively. Do some brainwash on yourself to make yourself believe that ONSs are great and that you are going to enjoy them. Also, doing ONSs in any foreign country will add some positive energy to the experience.

 

So, you have sex with a very hot person, and the person leaves your place after the job was done. It might feel great to know that you do not have to see them again. Why? Because there is always something wrong with any person including any super sexy and attractive person. For example, they might be bad at sex.

[Twenty-ten]

I have to explain to women that I'm not trying to get in their pants. I may flirt with them, but I don't want to and THEY DON'T BELIEVE ME.

 

I think they're so jaded by guys trying to do just that every time, that when a guy says they aren't they think he's lying.

 

I've been guilty of that, I have been secretly excited about a guy telling me he is not promiscuous especially if I see he looks good and has a personality that would put him on the popular side of things, yet that is exactly what makes it hard to believe.

 

A guy with self respect is super hot. No matter what anyone says.

 

OP, please don't take this advice. This is yet another example of a woman saying one thing and thinking/feeling the exact opposite.

 

It is not attractive to women that you don't have a promiscuous past.

 

Ok why don't you tell me what else I think, feel and do.

 

A lot of the time I don't think about a guy's past in terms of promiscuity but if he offers to me a story that eludes to the fact that he has not been promiscuous, it instantly shoots him up a few notches higher in terms of how I see him overall.

[OpenGL]

Who gets this most chicks?

 

The players that the girls KNOWS sleeps around.

 

The calvin klein models that the girls KNOWS sleeps.

 

The highschool/college jocks that the girls KNOWS sleeps around.

[OpenGL]

The nerds saving themselves for marriage don't get chicks.

[Twenty-ten]

The nerds saving themselves for marriage don't get chicks.

 

I think you need to temper your assessments in order to find a balance in how you see life. If you keep posting comments only on extremes, just as you are, I think people are going to start taking your comments less seriously.

 

Who said anything about chicks liking a nerd who saves himself for marriage? Just because a guy doesn't have a string of meaningless ONSs to show for, doesn't make him any less

 

a) sexual

b) desirable

c) cool

d) manly

e) attractive

d) studly

 

Exactly how much effort do you think it takes the average male bimbo to convince a female bimbo to go with him? Not a lot. She does this with with all the other guys, he is not getting any prize he is getting sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths....

 

Explain to me how this is hot in any shape way or form.

 

Now, let's look at a guy who has standards and doesn't bother chasing after women who are fall down drunk ready and willing to spread it for him on a first go. He has standards, he is just as sexual if not more than the other guys but he aims for gold, not trash.

 

Some "geek who is saving himself" for marriage doesn't even enter the equation. It's not about being a nerd who can't get laid, it's about a guy who wants more than just a meaningless sex. you are completely missing the message here and that is not to say any guy would turn down free sex on a ONS scenario, if it were handed to him on a silver platter.

The message is:

 

The types of women the guys usually goes for are not fall down drunk easy lays, which means he has standards .

[OpenGL]

The types of women the guys usually goes for are not fall down drunk easy lays, which means he has standards .

 

Sadly, as for the standards of those same women, he does not meet himself (physically).

[Engadget]

I've been guilty of that, I have been secretly excited about a guy telling me he is not promiscuous especially if I see he looks good and has a personality that would put him on the popular side of things, yet that is exactly what makes it hard to believe.

 

A guy with self respect is super hot. No matter what anyone says.

 

 

That's pretty much me, and it's not easy. Yes I want to get laid, however I'd rather have sex with a girl I care about than random sex.

 

I even told this one girl right off the bat that I was just trying to be friends and get to know her. Now, she says I'm a player, I'm trying to get in her pants, etc. etc. when I've done nothing to make her think that.

[marsle85]

you think about for the rest of the night is how to get this random club whore out of your apartment.

 

 

After she leaves, a whore will still be remain in the apartment.

 

Let's not forget he's just as "whorish" to have a ONS.