rhy_boy1 Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 Keeping this as short as possible. Me and a girl met about a year back and we instantly fell in love. Things moved kind of quickly and we moved out together for the first time each into a house with 2 other mates. We also got a dog together. We both agree that this was the best time of our lives. After 6 months she moved back to her hometown to continue her university and see her family more. We visited each other whenever we could and things where harder, but just as loving. This has been going on for about 8 months and we had plans to live together at the end of the year and to travel and everything like that. We had a huge fight and we broke up, but it was a huge mistake and we where just angry and frustrated. We patched things up and got back together but after going to visit her she has since told me that it didn't feel right for her and the feeling that was there, isn't there anymore. She doesn't think it will ever come back, but I love her way too much to give up and I don't understand how she can throw everything we had away. It might sound like a quick 1 year romance, but we had a really strong connection and we don't fit together at all, but it somehow just worked? We got along great and started to share common goals and interest and made each other better people. How can I get her back? Should I get her back? And how can she say she doesn't love me and never will? The fight was heated, but not really a relationship destroying fight? And no, she doesn't have anyone else. she is super busy and barely has time for her friends in the town she is in.
TaraMaiden Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 That's why she doesn't have time for youn either. Other things have taken priority. You have a choice: either wait until such a time as she contacts you and says "I made a huge, huge mistake. I love you, want you back and what would it take for me to convince you we can make this work?" Or - You move on, re-build your life and keep living, one foot infornt of the other. But either way, you have to respect her - and yourself - and go No Contact. Who has the dog? (As a Canine psychologist, that's a natural question for me to ask,.....)
BettyBoop Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 girls love it when the guys are persistent and really show that they care. Acutally, that is only true when a girl WANTS the guy. When you don't want the guy you've just dumped - there is nothing more of a turn-off and annoying for a guy who just won't leave you alone and move on!
TaraMaiden Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 (edited) You should give her some time and wait for the best time to make a strategy to get her back. Therein lies the problem. How the hell is he going to know when "The best time" is? In a month? 6 months? A year? Why should he wait that long, only to find that she's forgotten about all this, moved on, and is engaged to someone else (for example....)? Don't give up, girls love it when the guys are persistent and really show that they care. Er....I don't think they do...... Acutally, that is only true when a girl WANTS the guy. When you don't want the guy you've just dumped - there is nothing more of a turn-off and annoying for a guy who just won't leave you alone and move on! Completely agree..... It's irritating and really sucks. But it always helps when the girl - having decisively dumped the guy for good 'n' all - doesn't contact the guy EVER, "just to see how you are"...... That's equally annoying..... Edited May 17, 2010 by TaraMaiden
madjac74 Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 If your bond between each other was really very strong and mutual then just give her some space. Let her miss you. Its very hard to do when you are so connected to someone but they will feel something missing from their life. My gf and i broke up for 2 weeks. I was so angry that I didnt contact her at all and was sure it was over. On my birthday she sends me a happy birthday message on yahoo and we start chatting again. We realized we were both miserable without each other and those 2 weeks apart actually strengthened our relationship. I know its hard to give her space when you just want to make it all better and you think if you dont do something then she will be gone for good. A strong love doesnt disappear over night. Leave her alone for like 4 or 5 days and then send her a message asking if she is doing ok.
Author rhy_boy1 Posted May 18, 2010 Author Posted May 18, 2010 Thanks guys. I'm also thinking that if i talk to her and say I'll always be there, then nothing will have changed apart for the casual visits, because of long distance thats all we could do anyway. I'm going to just ignore her, nicely, and wait for her to realize that she does in fact miss me and does want me back. If that doesn't happen then I spose its for the best.
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