Biglevi Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 First I'd like to point out that despite my decent looks and character I have one fatal flaw where relationships are concerned: I am cross -eyed. Exotropic. It obviously affects the way i interpret the following so i need an objective opinion as to what the heck is in this woman's head. I like her. Try hard not to show it since my condition has caused me enough heartache in the past. Sneak peaks are a must but i doubt she notices. Looking at her i notice her reactions to my presence. Sometimes she looks at me. Goes out of her way to do so. Sometimes she goes silent when im behind her. Talks to her friend but stops when i'm there. Sometimes i notice she is nervous arround me. As stated before she goes silent, hesitant. Then i catch her scoping me with 2 friends from far away and long stares hit me making me rather unconfortable. She tries to look me in the eyes sometimes. I avoid such things, for obvious reasons. Generally i have the impression that she is always aware of my presence as i am of hers though her reason is a mistery to me. Now my question is: could my condition cause 3 months of this weirdness or could there be a good reason for me to go up to her and speak my mind ?
ScaredHubby Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 The things we regret the most in life are the risks we never take. If you speak your mind and she accepts you, it will help to allay your concerns that your condition prevents her from being interested in you. If she rejects you, then it will free you to watch for the next woman who takes those long looks at you.
valleylux Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 I don't think your "condition" could cause this much weirdness on her part. If you don't speak to her you'll never know. It can be a blow to one's ego if effort is met with rejection, but confidence is the most attractive quality I know.
turnera Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 The best way to deal with an anomaly is to just be right upfront and discuss it. That way, it's out of the way. It's the uncomfortableness about not knowing if you should acknowledge the anomaly that puts a strain on relationships. We had a guest speaker at last year's ELCA National Youth Organization meeting (35,000 Lutheran high schoolers in one place!). He had no legs. He came out, walking on his hands. He made a joke or two about it to get the uncomfortableness out of the way (as I am suggesting you do), and then started talking to us about what he has accomplished in his life. The most amazing speaker I've ever heard. Because of his disability? No. Because of his positive outlook and his ability to see his uniqueness as an asset, to allow him to help other people. It's all in the attitude.
Billzebub Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Tell her you were fine until the first time your eyes saw her.
2sure Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Tell her you were fine until the first time your eyes saw her. Thats VERY good. So - to OP, I get that your condition has caused you some heartache and rejection already...so I dont blame you being hesitant to touch the hot stove! I have a friend with this condition. I also work with him sometimes. He is brilliant by the way & an excellent public speaker. It used to be confusing/disturbing for me to speak with him...because of the eye contact thing. He was not like you...avoiding it, but I found myself avoiding it which totally inhibited our conversation, made me uncomfortable, and actually prohibited the friendship we now enjoy. You know how we moved on? One day while we were talking and I was again, looking elsewhere...he said: 2sure..just pick one. One or the other. Pick one eye and talk to that one. He said it with a smile, its what Ive done ever since, and I hardly notice the condition any more. I'm pretty sure he uses that line regularly to put people at ease.
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