Bf of almost 3 years broke up with me two months ago and i'm still so torn

[Heartbroken098]

Hi there,

 

I am still so depressed over my ex bf. We were dating for almost three years and lived together for two. He broke up with me because he felt like I was too demanding and he was forced to do a lot of things he didn't want to do. We planned a Hawaii trip on March 19 and two weeks later, he broke up with me. He is now on the trip with his family. We made so many future plans and i'm so hurt and confused. I know why he broke up with me but at the same time, I still cant fully accept the break up and I want him back.

 

Now that I reflect on the relationship, I realize that I was giving him too much pressure and he got fed up with it. I feel like if I didnt push him too hard then he wouldnt have broken up with me.

 

I think the break up is final since he made it really clear....i just need to find out how to move on from this. PLEASE HELP!

[Livelovelearn]

Hi there,

 

I am still so depressed over my ex bf. We were dating for almost three years and lived together for two. He broke up with me because he felt like I was too demanding and he was forced to do a lot of things he didn't want to do. We planned a Hawaii trip on March 19 and two weeks later, he broke up with me. He is now on the trip with his family. We made so many future plans and i'm so hurt and confused. I know why he broke up with me but at the same time, I still cant fully accept the break up and I want him back.

 

Now that I reflect on the relationship, I realize that I was giving him too much pressure and he got fed up with it. I feel like if I didnt push him too hard then he wouldnt have broken up with me.

 

I think the break up is final since he made it really clear....i just need to find out how to move on from this. PLEASE HELP!

 

Hello heartbroken, sorry to hear about your situation. I do want to add that i too have been broken up with my ex boyfriend of 3 years as well, the hard part is he broke up with me for another girl since we were having some problems in out relationship. I did blame myself thinking maybe i was too pushy or insecure and the list goes on, but truth is no relationship is perfect and issue free. do not blame yourself because even though we have our flaws, our partner have some flaws as well and we have to be willing to acknowledge them and try to fix them to make ourselves better. It sounds like you acknowledged your flaws in the relationship but your partner doesnt seem to acknowledge what he may have been doing to contribute to the tension in your relationship. Do not blame yourself, atleast you know you are willing to try and work things out, i do suggest you continue to better yourself for the next amazing person that may come into your life, and as for your ex, if he cannot see you are putting in effort, then it is his loss. It is way easier to leave than to stay and fix our own flaws, so he took the easy way out. Leave him alone and let him realize his mistake, i miss my ex even though he cheated on me but as i read other forums on here it makes me feel better knowing i am not alone and everything i go through is normal. So keep working on yourself and i wish you the best. And keep reminding you that there is someone better out there for yourself who will be more than willing to work the issues in your relationship out. Good luck!

[skydiveaddict]

Hang in there you will be ok. Hang close to your friends and dont spend a lot of time alone. Also exercise is key, it will help you to feel better. I know exactly how you feel right now. I've been there too. You can do it.

[burningheart]

Have faith, be strong. It hurts alot . 3 years is a long time....sometimes i wonder if they get cold feet...? my ex pulled a crazy move on me ,.....and won't tell me why? so i'm left here after 3 years wondering why?...I'm now forced to call or email his mother about why?...I'm beginning to think men don't want to grow up any more , to be able to face where they have failed.

[Heartbroken098]

Thanks for the replies..i hate how i am right now, my thoughts are consumed of him everyday. we havent talked since the break up except to pick up some stuff etc. I just dont know how to cope with it. He was the most important person to me for so long, and I cant stop thinking about what we had. Although I think i'm getting better in a sense where Im not looking for answers regarding the break up anymore. I just want him back...i wish things could be different and I can be a better gf this time around. I know I shouldnt blame myself for everything but I do feel like i played a huge role in the break up. I thought as time goes on, i'd feel better but the feeling for him is still soo strong.

[Heartbroken098]

burningheart,

 

how long have you and your ex been broken up for?