NickelbackFan Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 Hi everyone. Here's what happened last night. I was with a girl who I am seeing and we were laying in bed naked and making out. Yes that will lead to other shennanigans as you can presume. In the middle of this make out session her phone rings and it was her ex boyfriend, she stops, gets out of bed and and goes into the bathroom and answers the call. Now her phone is set to so loud that I heard the whole conversation. It wasn't anything big but still I had to hear his voice. She was shocked that something like that upset me. Do I have right to feel disrespected?
homersheineken Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 Yes you have a right to be upset. 1) Because you're Nickelback fan 2) Taking a call when you're nekkid? For an ex? Huge red flag.
brainygirl Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 Depends on why he was calling. If they have kids together and he had the kids and it was about the kids, I can see how she would need to have the conversation. Also, its very hard to "concentrate" when the phone is ringing. I've answered the phone in the middle of sex just to get the ringer to stop going.
Author NickelbackFan Posted May 16, 2010 Author Posted May 16, 2010 They have been broken up for years. He is an ex-fiance. No kids. They had some drama because her best friend asked her for permission to sleep with him and she said yes, so I dont get why he is calling her. I dont get involved in other peoples drama. I put my phone on silent, but hey thats just me.
Lauriebell82 Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 They have been broken up for years. He is an ex-fiance. No kids. They had some drama because her best friend asked her for permission to sleep with him and she said yes, so I dont get why he is calling her. I dont get involved in other peoples drama. I put my phone on silent, but hey thats just me. Sounds like her ex is still into her...I'd watch your back. Also, I would FLIP OUT if my fiance got out of bed to answer a call from his ex-fiance. He would flip out if I did the same!!! That is disrespecful to you and kind of kills the mood..a lot more then a ringing cell phone would! If my cell phone was ringing in the room I would get out of bed TO TURN IT OFF, not answer it! Sometimes my alarm on my phone will go off (it reminds me to take medication) when fiance and I are in bed and I usually just ignore it. If we are being intimate I will usually leave it in teh other room for that very reason. I would explain why this bothers you. I would ask her how she would feel if YOU answered the phone for your ex fiance in the middle of being intimate. I highly doubt she would be cool with that.
Author NickelbackFan Posted May 16, 2010 Author Posted May 16, 2010 Thanks everyone for the replies and advice. First of all this is girl is not my fiance. Secondly, I asked her if the shoe were on the other foot how would she feel, and she answered, the same as you. She also said sorry it wont happen again, I kinda said yes it wont happen again because this totally turned me off and I don't think I want to be intimate with you anymore. My reasoning is that she truly was not into it if she felt the need to answer his call.
JohnP82 Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 I would feel disrespected. In fact I would have probably left.
brainygirl Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 I think if it bothered you that much its probably best idea.
TaraMaiden Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 Woah... While I can see your point, is there not something to be said for the fact that she agreed with you, saw your point, apologised and said it won't happen again? One little mistake like this and you've slammed the door on it? Bit hasty there, I think.... Makes me think that you're obviously not all that into her either, if you're not prepared to accept her apology and give her another chance..... But hey, if it was just fooling around, you know best.....
Author NickelbackFan Posted May 16, 2010 Author Posted May 16, 2010 Tara I accepted her apology. But I think she was apologizing to patronize me to be honest with you. Im a forgiving guy however with that being said being in the middle of intimacy and that occuring is not some little thing. It wreaks of hi we are making out but im not feeling it so let me go answer my phone thats ringing. My reasoning for stopping is I have it set in my head she wasnt into it.
TaraMaiden Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 Right, ok, thanks. I take your point. Obviously, not having been there, I can't tell her tone and manner, so like I said, you will know best. And I didn't mean to use the rolleyes smiley. I was aiming for the ordinary smile, but they keep changing position from post to post!! LOL (so's not to make a mistake again!)
Author NickelbackFan Posted May 16, 2010 Author Posted May 16, 2010 I understand Tara its ok. I think what happened last night was a huge self esteem killer. And yes it ruined the moment.
tkgirl Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 Yes you have a right to be upset. 1) Because you're Nickelback fan 2) Taking a call when you're nekkid? For an ex? Huge red flag. I'm sorry but I cannot stop laughing at this! ok.. seriously though, yes.. I would feel the same way... it was pretty disrespectful and VERY bad timing! I'd probably need some time to cool off and then see if I could let it go... I dunno though, I sort of agree with homer... HUGE red flag.
CLC2008 Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 Yes. It's not cool to answer the phone when your in the middle of being physically intimate with each other and moreso to take a call from an ex...I would be upset too.
Lauriebell82 Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 Tara I accepted her apology. But I think she was apologizing to patronize me to be honest with you. Im a forgiving guy however with that being said being in the middle of intimacy and that occuring is not some little thing. It wreaks of hi we are making out but im not feeling it so let me go answer my phone thats ringing. My reasoning for stopping is I have it set in my head she wasnt into I it. Alright, but if you accepted her apology then you need to let it go and move on. You still sound like you are pissed off and it will probably show. If you need some time to get over it (which obviously you do and rightfully so!) then that's what you needed to tell her, not that you are okay with what she said. But anyway, I would establish some boundaries, meaning that she puts her phone on silent or ignores the call when you are being intimate. If she is truley sorry and doesn't want to hurt you again then she will do it. If she doesn't, then you will realize what kind of person you are with.
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