Change2 Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 I have been with my H 10 years. He had an affair a year and half ago. I never really thought about having sex with someone else. But, awhile after finding out about the affair, I have been finding myself wondering, thinking about having sex with someone else or even having a threesome. Yes, i have talked to my husband about this and he was up for exploring and ok for me to explore on my own too. Is this normal, do you think, to think like this after an affair because i cant get having sex with someone else off my mind.
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 That is a natural reaction. You see it often, in fact. You want to feel the same validation that he did, and you want him to hurt like you did. Should you do it? Not unless you are ready to end your marriage, because it surely will end. The foundation is crumbled. Heaping more weight on a crumbling foundation will not fix things.
Darth Vader Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 That is a natural reaction. You see it often, in fact. You want to feel the same validation that he did, and you want him to hurt like you did. Should you do it? Not unless you are ready to end your marriage, because it surely will end. The foundation is crumbled. Heaping more weight on a crumbling foundation will not fix things. I agree, don't cheat on your husband, then you'll be as low as your husband. I know, easy to say when you want your turn to ride another man and have mind blowing orgasmic sex. Hmmm, Your husband seems awfully quick to think about the possibility of having another man in the bedroom screwing you. Are you sure your husband isn't still cheating? Maybe he's thinking that if I'll let my wife do this, I'll be in the clear, but, man! Just the thought of your wife getting it on with another man while you watch, EW! Sure it might be his fantasy, but what happens if the sex with OM is much better than it could ever be with hubby? Plus, you'd most likely feel like trash afterwards, even if the sex was that good! Anyway, Don't do it, if you wanna screw someone else, Divorce Hubby first!
Cinnamon2000 Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 I have been with my H 10 years. He had an affair a year and half ago. I never really thought about having sex with someone else. But, awhile after finding out about the affair, I have been finding myself wondering, thinking about having sex with someone else or even having a threesome. Yes, i have talked to my husband about this and he was up for exploring and ok for me to explore on my own too. Is this normal, do you think, to think like this after an affair because i cant get having sex with someone else off my mind. It's a sign that your marriage is damaged. In your mind right now, it's no longer sacred and special. Anyone can have it and anyone can join.
norajane Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 Yes, i have talked to my husband about this and he was up for exploring and ok for me to explore on my own too. It's normal to think about revenge sex, but it's not revenge if your husband is all for it and eager to get started "exploring" himself. Essentially, you're talking about an open marriage where both of you are free to "explore" other people. Are you really ready for that? Raady for your H to go out and bang more women just because he wants to explore some more? How does that make you feel?
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