Nearing end of LDR

[Swederica]

Hi everyone. I just thought i'd share my LDR story.

 

I live in Sweden and i'm 19 years old.

Soon a year ago i met a girl on a webchat. She said she was 16 years old and lives in California.

She was just perfect. Like her personality was so wonderful and loving and so close to my own so i couldn't help falling in love with her, and she fell in love with me too.

Then suddenly she revealed that she were only 15. So there are a 3.5 year difference between us. Which doesn't seem all that great. But i do love her and i'm the one having the biggest emotional problems with this whole relationship.

I'm unemployed atm because of the financial crisis and i don't know what i want to become so i have no interest in studying. In addition to that i live in a pretty isolated area and most of my friends have moved away. So i'm pretty much alone and got most of my time doing nothing. So i'm basically sitting and thinking of her like all days long. I'm trying to make it easier for me but she's my everything. I love her so much. I'm crying like atleast once a week because i miss talking to her. I even got into a depression like a month ago because it seemed we didn't have a future. I haven't met her yet but everything feels so natural when we talk and webcam and everything. So anyway i got depressed cuz i didn't know when i would see her or how i could deal another two years of this.

So well a friend suggested i'd apply for a college near her. Which ofc is a great idea and i am applying and i've been accepted and all financial aid is in place and everything. So after this summer i will be very close to her and be able to see her now and then and my life will straighten up.

Despite that i feel kinda sad because i want her now and rather not wait. Also she have to go away for a week under which we will barely be able to communicate AT ALL! And i dread that week and like i'm scared out of my life for that.

But i'm trying to overcome it by thinking that when August hits i will be with her and everything will just be perfect. So i'll get through that single week somehow.

 

Anyway i just felt like sharing my story, anyway anyone who have had anything similar?

[Deeblondie82]

I don't know if I am comfortable with this story only because she is only 15! I mean that's bad that your an adult and shes still a teenager. I don't know what kind of advice to give ya, you should be with someone around your age.. but that's just my point of view

[Arabella]

I don't see the problem with the relationship, age-wise. They seem in a very similar developmental stage, despite the OP being older.

 

Swederica, one thing though... even if you two become gf/bf, you should familiarize yourself with American laws in regards to being intimate with a minor. EVEN if she's perfectly happy and willing and loves you, you could still get in a lot of trouble.

 

Also, since I see you're from Sweden, have you looked into your legal status to come to America? You say you have you have been accepted into the school and have your financial aid package and what not, but have you applied for some sort of visa already?

 

 

Arabella

[Swederica]

I don't know if I am comfortable with this story only because she is only 15! I mean that's bad that your an adult and shes still a teenager. I don't know what kind of advice to give ya, you should be with someone around your age.. but that's just my point of view

 

I can comfort you that she's 16 now.

[Swederica]

I am very aware of that problem. But she's decided to wait with sex until marriage. And that is something i can't change, not that i would i totally respect her decision.

 

I have looked through my legal status to visit America. And i can visit US for 30 days without any form of visa. And the school will apply for an F-1 visa on my behalf.

[aerogurl87]

She's 16 and your 19, ok I think that's legal in the US. But that's not where I see an issue (my boyfriend is 18 and I'm 20 going on 21, so yeah). I see an issue with the fact that your moving to another country to be near her when you two haven't met yet. I think you should go visit her first and then decide whether or not you want to study here, unless you really wanted to study here anyway and go to that school. If that's the case, this is a win-win situation and I hope all works out in the end.

[Swederica]

I fully understand your concern. That i'm just being naive and everything.

But fact is that i've wanted to live in US for a very long time now. And i've been unemployed since october, because i was tired of studying. But now i feel eager and fresh to study again, and the fact that i combine that with being closer to my SO is just as you say win-win. And i will visit her before i attend to the school, so i'll have every opportunity in the world to regret myself.

But don't worry i'm not naive and not doing this desperately. It's a well thoughtout decision.

 

And to all that object to the age difference. You have nothing to well worry about. I love that girl sincerely with all my heart. I would do nothing to hurt her or against her will. And she's told me several times that she doesn't want to have sex. And i'm totally ok with that. All i really wanna do is be able to hold her and kiss her and cuddle with her. All i really want is to be able to do stuff with her and share her life.

So as you all should know that love knows no distance or boundaries, you should also know that love doesn't care about age. I did not choose to fall in love with her. I didn't just think "Omg she'll be so easy to score". And the fact that i did start to feel attached and a bound between us far before i saw her should tell you something.

 

I love her because of her personality. Yes i know i haven't met her yet but we've been talking so much during so long time that i trust that what she tells me is real. And we are really open and talk about EVERYTHING! We have no secrets to eachother and nothing we feel is to embarassing to tell the other. And her friends and family confirms how wonderful her personality is and i have no reason to doubt that.

 

So to all doubters out there, the age won't make any difference. We are both in the same stage and have same experience with relationships, meaning zero experience. And it feels so natural and so right. It's a sensitive age group i understand that but i'm ready to do anything for people to give me a chance of judging me for who i am, rather then my age.

 

I'm also sorry if i sound aggressive or anything. But it took me several months to accept the age difference myself and i've felt so bad about so you have no idea.

 

Right now i'm just counting down the days til we meet and trying to prepare for the hard times of basically not talking to her for 2 weeks during the summer, and that is hard enough. So if anyone got any advice on how to help me through that you are really welcome to give me those. So far it has resulted in me telling everyone i know about her and about those weeks and i know i'll have many people that agreed to support me through those weeks, among those several of her friends. And she'll send me a number of videos to try and calm me down and she'll also send some of her personal belongings for me to look at and sit with whenever i miss her, which i really will.

Unfortunately it's not very much i can do for her to help her through her week. She'll be busy most of the time. But i've told her i will do whatever she wants me to do so she'll have it easier too.

 

And i've already decided that one thing i can do when missing her is to write her a song. And i know that will take a lot of time and i sometimes even feel if two weeks will be enough, especially considering my inability to play any instrument at all.

 

So yeah. Sorry for the long message, but i need to vent my feelings now and then. So if you have read all this, you are welcome to comment in any way you want.

[BettyBoop]

Jag tänker inte påpeka ngt om åldern eftersom min vänninna är 24 och tillsammans med en kille som är 16 och som var 14 när de blev tillsammans för cirka 1 år sedan...även om jag fortfarande är mkt emot ålderskillnaden. Så det finns värre exempel än 4 års ålderskillnad...