Dear broken hearts, everything is gonne be alright

[soyou]

When I and my ex-boyfriend broke up with each other. I was undergone so many pains and endless days and nights crying. I promised myself that once I overcame this pain, I would share my story to everyone. So that you - the broken hearts could at least know for sure that everypain will go away regardless of how deep it is.

 

Three months ago, found out the bitter truth after my birthday a week. My boyfriend of 2.5 years, not only cheated on me but has a wife. I was devasted, heart-broken.

 

He begged to get back and kept dening the truth and blah blah. I told him firmly but also politely that "I dont care who is right, who is wrong. I dont care what is true or not true. I just dont wanna be with you anymore. John - his name, I dont even try because whatever you say or do, I dont give a credit. If you respect me, please do not contact me by any means - phone, text, email. I beg you please. I also dont want to be your friend or keep any type of contact with you. Please get out of my life". He was silent and I said "Be happy with whatever woman you have choosen so far, John. For all what you did to me, I beleive that what goes around comes around. Good luck with your life and goodbye, John"

 

Long story short, I was so determined to let go. Not even a second that I regreted about it. However, deep inside it's the pain that I had to carry on.

 

Many nights I could not sleep, many days I walked around like a headless chicken. Tears were falling every single day...

 

Every morning, I felt so empty inside...Felt like my life was so meaningless..everyday passed by so heavy and burdened...I missed him terribly, body and soul.

 

But mates, when you feel painful the most, it's the moment the pain is almost over, so just hang in there.

 

You always have to believe that there is a day, soon, the pain will be over. You desire more. Things happen in life for reason. Maybe, you have to feel the pain before you could appreciate the happiness. You have to thank God for it happen now instead of latter.

 

Back to the me of now, I'm over him. I love my life so much. Everyday is beautiful day. I am physically healthy, fit, and attractive as I have always been...I am glad it it was over... I am glad that it happened early enough before I made any deep commitments to him...I am glad that this ******* did not have any chance to take any types of advantages of me....I am glad that I have been head up and never once gone low and lost my self- eestem...I am glad that I have many good friends and a great family, who are always there fore me....I am glad that I have such strong characters that once I say **** off, I could make it uo to my word...

 

Mates, everything will be okay...Pain will all go away... All you need is the determination and just get your asses busy.

 

I will share more details if I have time. If you have any questions regarding the "coping" period or want me to share, just say it. I will share...

[hurtandheartbroken]

Very true. I had to deal with this with my ex fiance two years ago. 4 years, and a very rough, abusive relationship toward the end. And as soon as contact was severed, I grieved, it was hard, like a soul ache. Dreams of him, waking up and being hit by reality...and then...

 

As time went on, I'd realize "Wow, I didn't think of so and so today" and the hurt did get less. And less. And less. And then I found someone else, like clockwork, he came back to "try" and the feelings that came back were BRIEF (the course of a day I wondered "What if") and then GONE and then NOTHING. And sure enough, his true colors showed again.

So it really DOES get better.'

 

If we didn't experience sad days and unhappiness, we wouldn't really have appreciation for the joys we have.

 

Thank you SO much for sharing!

[TachyonGeist]

Thank you for this. I'm still going through the grieving process, it was my first relationship (I'm 20) and it hurts more than I could have ever imagined. But I have to be strong, if not for me, for my family. I truly believe that this is Hell, and at some point we all feel the burn, some longer than others, but we will make it, we have to. This may last for months, but one day, I will rise up again, unfurl my wings and fly higher than I ever have before. It's an uphill battle folks, we'll get there, I promise.

[Entitled]

Thank you for this. I'm still going through the grieving process, it was my first relationship (I'm 20) and it hurts more than I could have ever imagined. But I have to be strong, if not for me, for my family. I truly believe that this is Hell, and at some point we all feel the burn, some longer than others, but we will make it, we have to. This may last for months, but one day, I will rise up again, unfurl my wings and fly higher than I ever have before. It's an uphill battle folks, we'll get there, I promise.

 

I couldn't agree more.

It hurts like hell, but, you have to keep on going. You'll get through it one day, it may take some time, but you will stand on your two feet again.

I hope the best for myself and everyone.

[kara22]

i am going through the same thing my ex boyfriend and i of 2 and a half years had just broken up and he already is seeing a new girl. as stupid as it sounds i want to wait around for him and have that second chance. i spend every night and day with too many tears, i dont eat and i never feel like doing anything with friends. i just have to remind myself everything will be alright..maybe not today or next week but sometime it will be better...stay strong everyone

[Livelovelearn]

great topic and posts on here! i am here trying to find some support and i find LS is a great community for it all. My ex of 3 years cheated on me and was with a girl 4 months while he was with me, he even forgot my bday for the first time because of her. It hurts because he was my first love and i came into the relationship not caring where it would go but then i fell for him hard! giving him my all. he doesnt contact me, he seems to be living his life normally partying and stuff (last time ichecked on fb) and i am so hurt, i keep wondering what i did wrong and i guess i did loose my self esteem. I am trying to do what i can to get it back and doing NC but i still miss him, love him and im not sure if i want him back but i want him to atleast acknowledge that he hurt me. I dont know how you did it, but i hope one day i reach the spot you are at.

[Brokendreams875]

Thanks for posting this.

I just broke up from my first real long term relationship (3 yrs) with a guy i had dated for a year once and who came back a year later. Now im struggling to keep myself from waiting for him to grow up again and hoping hell come back.

I feel like I dont go on day by day but instead struggle hour by hour to make it through the days. I fear (its only been a week) that he has already forgotten me and moved on while im in so much pain and the worst part is if he begged me to take him back today..if he hadnt fixed the problems we had when we broke up..i wouldnt be able to take him back anyway.

 

Im so lost and this just makes me more hopeful for the end of this dark tunnel

[This Hurts]

This helped so much. We should be seeing more of these on the Coping section than JUST the depressing ones.

 

How long did it take you and what helped you the most?

[aeren944]

Thank you SO much for this... it helped me a lot today.

[9Lives]

Im so glad you wrote this. The pain is what drives you bananas. I wrote down your strong words of encouragement and Im not looking back.

[DollWelch]

Mates, everything will be okay...Pain will all go away... All you need is the determination and just get your asses busy.

After many years, I can only hope so. It's nice to hear this. Thank you.

[soyou]

Hi every one,

 

I've not had time to get back to my topic last I posted it. My life has become so busy and a lot of fun and joys coming along. Here are my recent activities so that you guys know how good it will feel later when you are over your exes

 

Work is wonderful

 

I am taking pole dance course

 

I am taking painting class

 

I am doing fitness at home when I have time

 

I am finishing up my Master

 

I am hanging out with friends, clubbing, eating out, going to the zoo, concert, etc

 

I am constantly buying new clothes, making myself beautiful and flirting with guys I like

 

I am constantly receiving compliments for my attractiveness and clothing style

 

I can sleep with any guys I want to and explore myself more to the wild side. (But to be honest, I still miss the sex with my ex once in the while. He and I had the wildest and most creative sex ever ). But who gives a shiit. If one man cannot do a job of him, I will take 2-3 man to do a job of him .

 

I went out yesterday with a group of gay friends + some girlfriends, I was so determined to get home a boy but unfortunately, we just went to gay bars but I definately had a bunch of fun. Today, I still have a hangover:lmao:

 

Now, I have more time to make money and do whatever I like. Before, I used to be waiting up for him, waiting for his plan before I could make my plan...

 

So, to sum up, I know that sooner or later I will be in a relationship again, but for now, I want to live my life, live for myself, enjoy every momment of my single life. Do the weird, wild things (of course with a limit) that later if I am committed in a relationship, I will never have to wonder myself how/what shall it feel like. My motto is "SINGLE & FABULOUS".

 

I take my time, I dont want to rush into another relationship. I dont want to risk my time with craps. I'd better wait till the right & BRIGHT one to come...Maybe, he is somewhere just waiting for the right moment and we will meet up.

 

One of you asked me what helped me the most to overcome the pain. It's very simple. Your mind determines your actions and your life. Everytime, when you thought of him/her and wanted them back. Ask youself "So what?For what?". Would you be able to forgive or to feel happy and to feel like nothing ever happended. It's over then it's over. Save your face and dignity so that you can head up and being classy.

 

At that worst time of my life, I talked to many good friends and my family. If I felt sad, I called someone to talk to. If I felt down, I came over to someone's house to talk. If I felt shiiit, I cooked and asked friends to come over so that I could take advantage of their ears

 

On the other hand, I did mot sport and got myself busy with more work and told myself to ACCEPT the truth. Of course, there are many questions I never had answers, i told myself to ACCEPT it. It doesnt not matter if I know more or less, and if I have the answers for my questions. I ACCEPT the fact that he CHEATED on me, I ACCEPT the fact that I am not able to forgive and I wont be happy with him so I ACCEPT TO LET GO.

 

When you go to the stage, where you ACCEPT things as the way they are. You accept that you and your exes could never get back and no chace to get back. Hope is gone and the pain is lesser

 

Please dont blame yourself for feeling weak and miserable. For everyone it is the same. It takes sometime to let go. You are not alone. Many people can get over it, WHY NOT YOU?

 

Love yourself, love your life. It's all you need to move on.

[Angel Pie]

You don't understand how badly I needed to read that. Thank you so much for posting that!