freckles3131 Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 (edited) He dumped me. 8 years total, living together. He said he loved me, but wasn't in love. Ages 42 and 34 I have been in no contact for 2 weeks. Last night I was out at my grandmother's birthday party. Got home, ready for bed. 1:15 am I get a text. A picture of the sign outside a strip club and the word "lonely" (I perceive this as he is drinking, leaving the strip club, being around those woman has put him in his "lonely" place and he is drunk texting) I ignore it. He texts again. "????" I ignore it. He then writes, "Where are you?" (at this point, I'm annoyed and had a few drinks in me...should have kept ignoring it, but....) I reply. "Where am I? In a good place, that's where." (with happy face emot) He writes, "No physically" (now I'm thinking he is trying to come over, cuz he is "lonely") Great. Not into it. Getting pissed. I call my friend. I vent to her. 10 mins later.... A text "I thought we werent going to bad mouth one another to our friends. I just heard your whole conversation. Might want to close your windows to your house" "Thanks" :-( So, now I'm like WTF? He was here??!? I text him "You have no business coming here. You are an EX not a current. Do not come here and do not contact me again" He writes, "I was coming there to "surprise" you, was walking up to the door and overheard you on the phone. Thanks for making me look like a lonely ******* to whoever you were on the phone with" What!?! He was coming to "surpise" me....I never, never even lead him to believe that 1)I want him back 2) That I would welcome him in etc... Of course now he is pissed at overhearing my venting to my friend and is trying to turn it around. What the hell! Then he sends, "Don't worry about me stopping by again. I don't want none of that anyways. I was trying to reach out to you and instead I get to be degraded" What a strange thing. So....I haven't wrote back. Don't plan on it. Will not reply to him ever again unless he calls sober and to say he is getting some form of help. Can anyone shed some light on this whole thing? What was going on in his head? Edited May 15, 2010 by freckles3131
ScaredHubby Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 He was drunk and horny and possibly feeling some regret for breaking up with you. It's hard to give up a long-term relationship so easily. If it happens again and you truly don't want him around, get a restraining order.
teanoranges Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 I agree with ScaredHubby. Surprised others haven't said so too, but: He was drunk. He figured if he'd show up in person and at your place, at night, he would get some action. You can not trust whatever he says or does when he's drunk.. you are completely right about not listening to him until he calls first, and is sober. I agree with the restraining order if he does it again too... you never know. Good for you. Keep up good work.
Ilovecake Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 Can anyone shed some light on this whole thing? What was going on in his head? It's what's known as a Booty Call. He went to a strip club, got all hot and bothered figured you would be a sure thing. Glad you chased him away. You handled it very well.
Art_Critic Posted May 17, 2010 Posted May 17, 2010 Agree with everyone else and would like to throw in that now he knows he can listen in on you that he WILL do it again.. Keep your eyes peeled and don't contact him..
Author freckles3131 Posted May 17, 2010 Author Posted May 17, 2010 Yeah, I know it was a booty call. He isn't the type of guy to have a one night stand, so his mind went to the familiar. Just kind of suprised that since he's only been moved out for 2 weeks that it happened so quickly. Then again, he was thinking with his other "head". lol No worries, folks. No contact. If I can say no to his advances at 1am, after a few drinkies in me and feeling lonely myself.....I think we are doing pretty darn good! :-)
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