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i'm having bf problems and my bff came on to me last night..now we can't stop kissing

jj12

By jj12
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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jj12 New Member

jj12

Posted
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i've been having problems with my bf for quite awhile. he never has time for me, and we barely talk (if we do, like an hour a day...over text messaging only, and see each other only on friday nights)

 

since he never has time for me, i always just hang out with my male bff of 8 years. i've never thought anything of it, since we've been best friends for so long. and his gf broke up with him a month or so ago around the time i started having problems with my bf, so we've both been helping each other get through our problems.

 

rewind to two days ago though...i was watching movies at the bff's house and he started kissing my neck. in my head i was thinking "wait...you can't do that" but i didn't stop him. he pulled me on top of him, and we rubbed on each other for awhile but no sex.

 

we never actually made out (as if that would make it "cheating") but i guess the rubbing is probably worse than that. he is good friends with my bf, so i don't know what we are doing. i feel like i have lost my mind. and to make matters worse, i went over to bff's house the day after the incident, and when i walked in he instantly started kissing me all over. i feel like we are just both really lonely, and i don't know how to stop what we have started.

norajane Established Member

norajane

Posted
Posted

Yes, you are cheating. And your bff is making you feel wanted and desirable, which you are craving because your bf makes you feel unwanted and undesirable.

 

So, you're probably using the bff to make yourself feel better - that's why you don't and won't stop what's going on.

 

I think you need to break up with your bf, and cool things with bff. He's on a rebound, and you're needy for attention and affection right now. There may be actual feelings between you, but if you start this thing off like this, it won't end well. You both need time to truly move on (from his ex, and your bf) before you could ever be a healthy couple.

lkjh Established Member

lkjh

Posted
Posted

Its pretty simple you are one of those girls that keeps guys around like your "best friend". You are not mature enough to be in a relationship. Think about how low and dirty you are acting

 

Do your bf a favor and break up with him because you are not gf material.

 

 

of course you won't do this, you will continue to have your cake and eat it to. You will find ways to blame your bf and continue trying to make yourself out to be a victim by saying things like " we are lonely"

Lauriebell82 Established Member

Lauriebell82

Posted
Posted
Its pretty simple you are one of those girls that keeps guys around like your "best friend". You are not mature enough to be in a relationship. Think about how low and dirty you are acting

 

Do your bf a favor and break up with him because you are not gf material.

 

 

of course you won't do this, you will continue to have your cake and eat it to. You will find ways to blame your bf and continue trying to make yourself out to be a victim by saying things like " we are lonely"

 

Unfortunately this may be right.

 

If your boyfriend is making you feel undesirable and lonely then break up with him. I wouldn't go after the BFF either though, like another poster said he is on the rebound and probably wouldn't the greatest boyfriend either. He is cheating with his best girl friend whose boyfriend he is also friends with. He is taking advantage of your lonliness to further his own agenda. Not cool.

benB Established Member

benB

Posted
Posted

First of all that sounds creepy to me how he just started kissing you randomly, second you are cheating and that's disgusting, girls like you are the worst. If you dont want a bf then dump him, do him a favor

Maggotface Established Member

Maggotface

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I don't want to come off bad when I say it was just kissing but some of these comments are pretty harsh. This does not mean you are not girlfriend material or a horrible person. You made a lapse in judgement and cheated which happens, you were lonely and hurt and wanted attention. The biggest problem is that it is continuing.

 

You obviously do not seem happy in your relationship and your boyfriend should absolutely know what you did. I think the best advice is either work to make things better if you really want to stay with him or break up but cool things off with your friend because as the others have said I dont think there is potential for a romantic relationship especially right now.

lkjh Established Member

lkjh

Posted
Posted
I don't want to come off bad when I say it was just kissing but some of these comments are pretty harsh. This does not mean you are not girlfriend material or a horrible person. You made a lapse in judgement and cheated which happens, you were lonely and hurt and wanted attention. The biggest problem is that it is continuing.

 

You obviously do not seem happy in your relationship and your boyfriend should absolutely know what you did. I think the best advice is either work to make things better if you really want to stay with him or break up but cool things off with your friend because as the others have said I dont think there is potential for a romantic relationship especially right now.

 

 

Cheating twice is not a simple lapse in judgment. Having a "guy friend" waiting in the wings is not a lapse in judgment. If your relationship being in a rut is enough to justify your cheating then you are not gf/bf material.

 

Who knows maybe you have done the same thing the OP has before so you are trying to justify it, but there is no good reason to cheat

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted

Yes, some of the comments are a little heavy on the harsh side.....:confused:

 

It's simple, really.

Get out of the relationship, and take things easy.

Ease back and just relax.....

 

You need to consider what it is you want in life, but do it with a clear head......

One thing's for sure... your BF shouldn't be in the picture, if you feel this way.

Mimolicious Established Member

Mimolicious

Posted
Posted

JJ12 (which is probably your age) Hit the books and stop thinking about boys!!! You sound like a child (no offense). Drop the BF since he doesn't fit your needs and stop humping on your BFF, the humping will grow into full blown acts and babies come from that. There goes my hard earned tax dollars...:rolleyes:

Dexter Morgan Established Member

Dexter Morgan

Posted
Posted
i feel like we are just both really lonely, and i don't know how to stop what we have started.

 

don't stop what you started, just simply break up with your bf so he can find someone decent.

seibert253 Established Member

seibert253

Posted
Posted
i've been having problems with my bf for quite awhile. he never has time for me, and we barely talk (if we do, like an hour a day...over text messaging only, and see each other only on friday nights)

 

since he never has time for me, i always just hang out with my male bff of 8 years. i've never thought anything of it, since we've been best friends for so long. and his gf broke up with him a month or so ago around the time i started having problems with my bf, so we've both been helping each other get through our problems.

 

rewind to two days ago though...i was watching movies at the bff's house and he started kissing my neck. in my head i was thinking "wait...you can't do that" but i didn't stop him. he pulled me on top of him, and we rubbed on each other for awhile but no sex.

 

we never actually made out (as if that would make it "cheating") but i guess the rubbing is probably worse than that. he is good friends with my bf, so i don't know what we are doing. i feel like i have lost my mind. and to make matters worse, i went over to bff's house the day after the incident, and when i walked in he instantly started kissing me all over. i feel like we are just both really lonely, and i don't know how to stop what we have started.

 

Wrong you were cheating, and still are. You had inappropriate sexual contact with someone other than your BF. THAT'S CHEATING.

 

Do the honorable thing and end it with your BF. If you continue your present course, I guarentee you'll end up losing both your BF and your BFF.

jnj express Established Member

jnj express

Posted
Posted

Doesn't sound like you have any kind of a relationship left with your BF---so just tell him, you want to go out and enjoy life with others, and do it

 

 

You are not married---tell him what is happening, and go live your life. Real simple

St. Nick Established Member

St. Nick

Posted
Posted

The guy has been friend-zoned for 8 years and has now only gotten to second base. Wow. What a loser.

 

You don't think making out is cheating? Sounds like you don't understand how relationships work. If you really don't think making out is cheating then why don't you tell your bf about your little kissing session with your guy friend? See what the bf thinks.

Reality Drip Member

Reality Drip

Posted
Posted

You never see your boyfriend anyway and he doesn't make you a priority. If he doesn't naturally want to put you first then why stick around waiting for him to change? It won't happen.

 

Break it off.

 

Then see what's going on with your bff. There's a reason you've been friends for so long; you have a strong connection. This could be a great foundation to slowly build upon but don't mess it up by getting knee-deep in some love triangle.

 

I'm guessing the "bff" was friends w/you long before the bf came along so the bf can drop out of the picture safely.

 

Have fun!

 

-Max

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