skyesabove Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 My fiance and I have been together for two years, and are planning to marry soon. My fiance and I are deeply in love and have a perfect relationship, but somehow I am still haunted by thoughts of his ex girlfriend. Perhaps these thoughts would not be so terrible if my fiance's mother didn't insist on palling around with the ex girlfriend, and making me feel worthless. I have been with him more than twice as long as she was, so I don't know what is so special about this girl and not me. The fact that my fiance's family still obsesses over his ex makes me worry that I'm not good enough for him, and that he will fall for her again. Please, help me. I am at the end of my rope. Why does she cause me so much pain when I'm the one who has him?
D-Lish Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 It's not about what the in-laws think- it's about what your fiance thinks, end of story. My exH's mother was a beast- and she went on and on about my H's ex's- but according to my ex, she always hated them. My exH is now remarried and according to him, his mother talks about me like I was the second coming- yet she treated me horribly when we were together. Focus on your relationship with him. If everything is good with the two of you, his nasty mother shouldn't be a factor.
Author skyesabove Posted May 15, 2010 Author Posted May 15, 2010 I just wish that I could let his ex go, and feel like I was the right person for him. Not her.
D-Lish Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 I just wish that I could let his ex go, and feel like I was the right person for him. Not her. Which is why he is dating you and not her. Embrace that notion.
Author skyesabove Posted May 15, 2010 Author Posted May 15, 2010 Thank you. I am trying to work through it, and hopefully I can.
D-Lish Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 Thank you. I am trying to work through it, and hopefully I can. You can- just don't let the future MIL get to you, and don't let her BS interfere with what you have with her son. This is her issue- not yours. Let her be a passive aggressive bitch- she needs to own that, you don't!
Maggotface Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 Mother-in-laws are a strange breed. My boyfriends mother talks me up like I'm the best thing that ever happened to him but from what he tells me she was the same way with his exW, which is how it's suppose to be I guess. My exH's mom on the other hand hated my guts, cant please everyone :/
Mimolicious Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 I just wish that I could let his ex go, and feel like I was the right person for him. Not her. Ok, you need to read what you wrote. Seriously. YOU let HIS EX go????? why are you holding onto her? Feel like you are the right person and not her? Obviously he knows this! He's with you and not her! I think you are making his ex a fixture in your relationship far more than his family is.
Heathy Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 uhg I know how you feel. But not as bad. My bf's mom & sister always talk to my bf's ex. It's so annoying. I kinda feel like they like her better because she wants to get married and have kids....and me and my bf definitely don't. My bf's mom has even went as far to tell me that my bf was upset because of something that's going on with his ex and he still really cares for her. Which is total bs. I know I'm better for HIM than she is. And you need to know this too. Your future in-laws care more about their happiness than your fiance's. You are better for HIM than she is. Maybe she is better for your in-laws but this isn't about what they want.
Reality Drip Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Don't make the mistake of dating the person's family and friends along with the man. Just focus on who he is...what he is..how he treats you and what he does to demonstrate that love and appreciation. Don't play up to his folks; you aren't going to marry them nor will you live under the same roof. Make him see how great you are and place all your energy into enjoying quality time with him. Focus on HIM.
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