Nukulus Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 Hey folks... Thought I'd see if any other people have had experience they'd like to share or advice on the the following subject.. Is there anyway to stop feeling in your head that things have gone horribly wrong in a brand new relationship when you haven't heard from a person for a while? Or if they haven't responded to texts/phonecalls for several hours or a day or two? Even you when you know everything was fine the last time you talked and you haven't done anything that could screw **** up? I guess the best word would be paranoia? That sinking feeling in your gut as you think of all the reasons why they aren't talking to you? For example in my case: I am currently "talking" to a girl that goes to school in the college where I am a graduate assistant and I knew she liked me. So we started spending some time together---Hanging out at a bar with mutual friends, party w/ mutual friends, and we went to get icecream together. She goes home for a week and we have plans for our first date this weekend! And throughout the past week we have been in contact... phonecalls/texts etc. And she has been initiating the contact as well, hasn't been just me (the guy). So last night we're texting because she is hanging out with a friend and we say our goodnights and whatnot. I tell her I'll call her when I was on the nextday (today). She said "sounds good!! Goodnight!" So things are good... the conversation was fun and encouraging like it always has been since we started talking. And yet today when I call she doesn't answer. No big deal... I send her a text a couple hours later.... Still no response. So what do I do? I start over analyzing everything... Why isn't she responding? What did I do? Did I come on too hard? Not enough? etc etc... On and on I replay **** in my head. And for what? I know for a fact she is busy today. So my rational side knows that nothing is wrong, and she just has other **** going on. So I suppose what I want to know is if I am the only crazy person that does this? AND if anyone has any strategies to cool down my over active imagination. Thanks All!
Author Nukulus Posted May 14, 2010 Author Posted May 14, 2010 Update: and in the time it took me to type that post out she responded... So all that worry for nothing... BUT the above question still remains! How to shake that paranoia feeling that you ****ed up some how. Hope everyone is having an excellent start to the weekend!
Cracker Jack Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 You just have to (I know you got a positive update) realize that they have a life, too. Everything they do can't pertain to you; so yes, there are chances of an extended period of time with no contact, but it doesn't mean you did anything. I often would do this when I was with my best friend: Anytime she wouldn't contact me, I would just get paranoid and think she's with someone else or whatever. It's just unneeded stress and over-analyzing in general. Glad she contacted you, though.
D-D Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 Perfectly normal. I do the exact same thing. Only time I worry is if I am always the only one always initiating contact.
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