girls, ss !!!

[bittersweetcupid]

ive broke up with my gf 6 months ago.the first 3 months were so hard for me but i slowly got out of my slump.however, just today,my fren told me he saw pictures of my ex gf posing in unflattery manner. she was waearing a tube and she was pulling it down,showing her bra.she didnt use to be like tat.what happen? was she 'wild' before we got tgt,and me controlling her to much a result of this.i dunno.i love her still.i told her il always be arnd if she needs help.she replied thanks and tats about all.i cooked her breakfast and left it outside her once 1 month prior to this.why is she like tat?she has changed so much.what can i do to help myself or her:(

[sedgwick]

By "tat," do you mean "tattoo," or does it just take too much extra effort to type an H?

 

Please give your readers the courtesy of using actual words instead of txt-speak! Thanks!

[mickleb]

Lgtn up, Sdgwk.

 

 

x

[mickleb]

bsc-

 

You need to deal with the fact that you are not this girl's 'saviour'. It is not your job, never was, never will be.

 

You, in fact, do her a disservice, despite your good intentions, by trying.

 

She needs to understand the things she is doing: how they are affecting her, and those she cares about. Then she needs to think about whether she wants to change. if she does, she needs to figure out the best things she can do to help herself.

 

We all bear this responsibility and those who try to take on our burdens, can very easily, unconsciously, encourage our bad behaviours.

 

Having said that, the example you have given here does not sound so terrible. Showing her bra strap? It could be a whole lot worse.

 

You are not together anymore. Let her make the mistakes she chooses and look after yourself, so you don't make the same ones again.

 

x

[bittersweetcupid]

im sorry.what i meant was'that'. However when we were tgt,she did mention about getting a tattoo,an idea which i didnt like too. She was intentionally pulling down her tube and everyone of my frens says its slutty in a way and no way for a girl to act.she has changed too much since finishing college. She got tgt with another guy 3 weeks after we broke up.then starts acting this way.i dunno hw to cope with the fact that a person i love can change so much:(

[mickleb]

If she was 'wild' before you got together and you were 'controlling' as a result of this, has she 'changed' a great deal?

 

Controlling is the keyword of your thread, though.

 

You cannot know the intricacies of her mind (and she may be far away from them, herself) but you can ask yourself why you chose someone as a partner who you felt you needed to control.

 

Good luck.

 

x

[bittersweetcupid]

thanks for the reply. Anw.she wasnt that wild tho she often have thoughts for example wanting a tongue piercing,tattoo ext. However,she was in school then and couldnt really get all those.when we first met,she didnt use to like all these.it was until about 4 months later.i gave it and she went ahead to get a tongue piercing tho she knows i dun like them.I love her thats why i didnt want her to look all slutty with piercing and all.no offence.Its just me

[mickleb]

Sounds like you too were simply incompatible.

 

Accept this is over, give yourself time to heal and prepare to meet someone who supports your values, and whose values you support.

 

It's (clearly) not as simple as it sounds but what is the alternative?

 

x

[Citizen Erased]

By "tat," do you mean "tattoo," or does it just take too much extra effort to type an H?

 

Please give your readers the courtesy of using actual words instead of txt-speak! Thanks!

My brain hurts.

[mickleb]

Sounds like you too were simply incompatible.

 

Oh F*CK! Not a homophonic error!

 

I'll be shot down like Jose Cuervo..

 

 

x

[bittersweetcupid]

i love her still:( sadly.she used to be reaally sweet and nice.i jus cant accept the fact that she has changed so much and is now with another guy having a wild time.maybe im just jealous