jv032889 Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 (edited) I'm familiar with the break up process. Unfortunately, this is the fourth time by the same person. I feel alittle different about it. I do not have any tears. I can't cry!!!!What's wrong with me? I try to cry, knowing its a good way to release my feelings but it doesn't seem to work. I don't know the answers! With that being said...I contine to check my phone and email to see if she has attempted to contact me.NOTHING! In reality she probably won't because she did the dumping...I go to sleep with her on my mind. Shes is the first person I think of in the morning. I'm so confused...I have no tears but I'm constantly wishing she would contact me. UGH!:( Edited May 14, 2010 by jv032889
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 I think you are unable to cry possibly because you are in a state of shock, numbness or disbelief. You have been through this process with your ex so many times, that you may be desensitised to it, you may feel she'll come back, because she has so many times before. This time is for you to become empowered and strong and not take it anymore. She may keep coming back but she can't stick it out. I can't imagine how hard this must be, to be hurt so many times by the same person, but forget about her, this is not about her, but about you using this to become strong and if she comes back again, be able to refuse her.
Author jv032889 Posted May 15, 2010 Author Posted May 15, 2010 Its very painful. I no longer have a reverse gear. im going to put it in drive
Toki Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 It took me over a year to build up the strength to be able to have a cry about my first ex (or I should relationship), simply because I refused to deal with it. I would write down my thoughts, and whatever. Eventually, I got around to writing down a years worth of thoughts, and decided I should have a read from the beginning. To see what a terrible mental state I had put myself in because I refused to deal with the problem in an honest way, I saw the total devastation I had caused myself by not allowing myself to grow beyond the heart break. I cried several times through reading those thoughts, and it was never because I was sad the relationship was over, it was because of the state of ruin I had allowed myself to fall into, because I thought I was too tough to allow my emotions to get the better of me. The truth is, sometimes you can't be tough, and sometimes you have to lament your own feelings, in order to be able move away from it.
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