relationships with high vs low self monitors

[shadowplay]

I found this article very insightful and interesting:

http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/advantages--disadvantages-of-high--low-self-monitoring---snyder

 

I'm definitely a low self monitor, while my ex was a high self monitor and pretty much everything said in the article described the problem with that dynamic. Anybody else have experience dating these two personality types?

[alphamale]

whats a high and low self monitor?

[TheBigQuestion]

This article just reeks of being juvenile pop psychology. It doesn't seem to acknowledge that a person can actually be both. I am naturally what this article describes as a "low-self monitor" but I CAN (and often do) adopt characteristics of a high-self monitor. I never lose sight of my "true self," but in order to function properly in society, I can accentuate certain aspects of my personality for appropriate social situations. I've got one foot in each camp. Contrived and utterly unscientific crap like this article only lessens the potential for understanding personalities.

[spookie]

Yah, I'm with Big. The characteristics the article is separating into "personality types" are just social skills that some people never learn. I have never met anyone who was a true high self monitor, and i know plenty of shallow d-bags.

[Mr White]

Based on the info in the article, both myself and my gf are *low* self monitors, and things are awesome.

 

(I have a big problem with the terminology though "low self monitor" suggests that you do not invest any energy in self-monitoring, while this is simply not true.)

 

Also, I vouch that I've never liked any *high* self-monitors, precisely because of the reasons outlined in the article - often are very inauthentic people...

[TheBigQuestion]

"Authenticity" in this context is a pointless and amorphous quality. EVERYONE varies their personality and their outward behaviors depending on their environment at a given time. This does not make them more or less authentic. Do you say all the same things around your mother as you say around your drinking buddies? Unless your relationship with your mother is a "buddy" one (and therefore very likely dysfunctional), I'd think not.

[shadowplay]

I don't think it's pscyhobabble. There's actually been a lot of research in respectable journals that supports these differences between low and high self monitors. Also it just makes intuitive sense. It's not a black and white thing either; self-monitoring is a continuous spectrum that people fall onto.

[Engadget]

I'm both. I can put on a facade for a situation, like a cocky swagger in public for women. However when I trust someone I'm always myself.