Sivok Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 First off, nothing is going to change with your attitude. It's extremely negative, and that's the first thing I would work on. It sounds like you've already given up. My advice is to just get more comfortable approaching and speaking to women. Just start out by approaching them, making eye contact, ask for the time, directions, whatever - then move on. Keep doing this multiple times and eventually you'll just feel more natural with women. Never, ever assume a woman is going to approach you. Very few will - if ever, so get that idea out of your head immediately. Once you feel more natural at talking to/approaching women, maybe move on to some small talk, from small talk build flirtation, and then possibly get a number. It worked for me, I never expect a woman to check me out, approach, or compliment me out of the blue. I had to work extremely hard to build my confidence and to feel comfortable approaching women. Hitting the gym for years, reading a million dating books, scouting forums, asking advice isn't going to do **** if you dont go out and build this skill like you would any other. Unless you have money and the looks of a model, no woman is going to eye you like a celebrity like you seem to be hoping for. They certainly dont look at me like that, yet I've been on dates with more than a dozen women in the past year and had a relationship with one. Not one was due to a woman approaching me. I.E. fix the attitude, man up, and realize this is a situation completely in your hands - no one elses. Life isn't fair, that isn't going to change. Some people get this much easier than others. All you can do is try getting on the otherside of that table.
Sivok Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 No, it isn't. I went through the exact same situation. Being invisible to women, wondering why I don't get approached, etc. I decided to completely take matters into my hands and it has worked in spades. Obviously take it with a grain of salt, but I definitely felt a lot better taking problems into my own control rather than trying to blame them on derivatives I cannot change
SoccerPlaya Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 You really gotta somehow fix that negative attitude. Ever tried hypnotherapy? A *GOOD* hypnotist/therapist can be worth the money. I know of a great one in LA if you if you're interested.
Sivok Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 There is no control. You can't fake confidence or hide desperation.No but you can build confidence by being naturally more comfortable with women like I explained. Once that happens, the desperation will slowly diminish. I never said it was going to be easy
Sivok Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 It's not natural to everyone. god what an idiot you're quick to jump to insults. I wonder who the real idiot is here? What I'm saying is it becomes more natural as you get yourself out there because I personally went through it. If he has social anxiety, then take a CBT therapy course. You're speaking like he has no hope
SarahRose Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 The gloomy victim attitude is a huge turnoff and I see so many guys in their later 20s and 30s with this attitude. The other thing they fail to mention is they make zero effort to speak to women. They think women should just come up to them and ask them out. It will never happen. The want a supermodel. The average girl that is most likely on their social and looks level will be ignored and they go and pine and obsess after some hot chick they work with who doesn't even know they exist. They are in their head all the time obsessed with their own thoughts. How can they reach out and relate to anyone doing that all the time. They love playing the victim card to anyone who will listen all about how terrible and unfair life has been to them. Huge turnoff. I see this over and over the same pattern. If a person is really that unsuccessful relating to the opposite sex, I strongly suggest professional counseling to get out of the rut.
Rhythmic Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 The gloomy victim attitude is a huge turnoff and I see so many guys in their later 20s and 30s with this attitude. The other thing they fail to mention is they make zero effort to speak to women. They think women should just come up to them and ask them out. It will never happen. The want a supermodel. The average girl that is most likely on their social and looks level will be ignored and they go and pine and obsess after some hot chick they work with who doesn't even know they exist. They are in their head all the time obsessed with their own thoughts. How can they reach out and relate to anyone doing that all the time. They love playing the victim card to anyone who will listen all about how terrible and unfair life has been to them. Huge turnoff. I see this over and over the same pattern. If a person is really that unsuccessful relating to the opposite sex, I strongly suggest professional counseling to get out of the rut. Why do the women on this board keep bringing up the meme of all men who have issues with girls do so because they only want super models to hit on them comes from? I've never once seen it ever. When I had lots of issues I never only tried to talk to super models and indeed the majority of my past girlfriends have been overweight. Most of the guys on this board only really list the requirement of not being a fat ugly troll with zero sexual attraction between the two of them. Damn steep requirements there......
ADF Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 Why do the women on this board keep bringing up the meme of all men who have issues with girls do so because they only want super models to hit on them comes from? I've never once seen it ever. I'm a man, and I see it all the time. Not only are many men not interested in less than gorgeous women, they often don't feel unattractive women have a right to be treated with common courtesy.
Engadget Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 I'm a man, and I see it all the time. Not only are many men not interested in less than gorgeous women, they often don't feel unattractive women have a right to be treated with common courtesy. Yeah I've almost never seen that.
Rhythmic Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 I'm a man, and I see it all the time. Not only are many men not interested in less than gorgeous women, they often don't feel unattractive women have a right to be treated with common courtesy. Funny you mention this part. You are right I do see this all the time then. But never EVER EVER from guys who have issues with women it is always the douchebag *bros* who never have issues with attracting good looking women that I've seen with that sort of attitude. NEVER guys who have bad issues trying to attract women. It is part of the reason the whole OMG WOMEN LUV JERKS meme stays around.
MissJoness Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2006/09/20/the-confidence-myth/ http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/04/08/the-myth-of-confidence/ Build skill in talking to women first. Go to the gym and get an attractive body and attractive job and attractive hobbies. You can't have confidence without the success first. It just doesn't work. You need to tell these guys exactly HOW they build skills in talking to women, or how to come up with strong conversations to get more women interested in them. they can't build these skills if they dont know how to in the first place
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