thedreg Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 Ill leave out all the details, so ill just give you the jist.. a long gist.. We were together for 3 years.. both in our later 20s.. i was a late bloomer.. she was my first everything... EVERYTHING... love, sex, real relationship,, i treated her like a queen.. i have no regrets there.. Ive been thinking i may have been TOO good to her .. spoiled her.. jewlery, back rubs. cooking.. in 3 years i never cheated, flirted or even though about doing that with another.. i never even raised my voice to her.. but 2 years in i lost my job.. during a year of unemployment our sex life died.. she gave me lame excuses.. i know enough to know that no sex is a symptom to an underlying issue. i got a lame excuse every time i brought it up.. then finally i got work.. then the REAL reason.. she "lost respect for me" because i had no work.. around the same time i got this , she lied to me about where she was going and who she was going there with.. said it was her brother but it was really some gut from her work , she went to have drinks at his house.. i found out and confronted her, and she acted like i was the one with the problem for being upset over it. then a week later she dumped me one evening AFTER i dropped 100$ on a date... i don't want her back.. but i had a bit of a relapse.. i saw her and this other guy at a restaurant, .. she didnt see me , but it still hurt.., shes completely moved on like i didn't mean a thing to her . its been 6mos NC. i feel like ive gotten better in a lot of ways. im over her.. im not as depressed as i was at first..but im still not over being treated that way, she betrayed me even if it wasnt physical at the time(she swears it wasnt but she lied once so i wouldnt doubt if she was lying about that) i guess my real issue is im not sure im feeling anything.. i have no interest in dating and barely an interest in the opposite sex where as before her i absolutely adored most women.. im starting to become afraid im turning into a sociopath.. i feel like if i went on a couple of dates this would clear up.. but i have no drive to do this.. i put so much time and effort into her.. we basically lived together for 3 years, and everything i did, every gesture i made every unkind work i kept to myself was all for nothing.. and all the money i spent.. lord i could have a brand new car completely paid for.. i guess i need words of advise from those that can relate, im exercising and taking care of myself .. i play in a band that keeps me busy about 3 nights a week, but when i wake up in the morning i still feel like someones missing next to me.. and i hate that it was her...
McGrupp Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 hey man im 8 months. tough. i feel you on a lot of this. but u have to get back out there. find the motivation.. study some pua materials and get some confidence back try to forget her and keep it moving. u may have to move cities and find a new career. meet new people. get a new social circle. fall in love again. repeat. my ex was my first everything too pretty much. and i took me awhile to be able to see women as what they are. take her off the pedestal. she wasnt that great
Author thedreg Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 see that's my issue.. or non issue or whatever.. its not a confidence thing i could get a date... and i don't have her(or women) on a pedestal.. she was a liar and very selfish and very materialistic which is polar opposite from my personality.. but when i think of starting over with someone new... blehh.. i have no interest.. i want to but i don't.. p.s. "PUA materials???" is this pick up artist? treat women like crap so they respond positively sort of thing? i don't want to attract that kind of woman man... those chicks have issues.. like i said its not a confidence thing.. i just dont have the feeling that any effort i make would be worth while..
worlybear Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 Just read your post and wanted to say don't beat yourself up for writing on here. My 27 yr marriage broke down over a year ago and this website has been a godsend. Its not about the length of time you use this website and no one is being judgemental-except perhaps you,yourself? Its very tough to move on and you will experience setbacks, such as seeing her with someone else but your life WILL go on and it won't all be bad times. Hang in there- thinking of you
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