Jump to content

Would you rather marry the wrong person or be single and alone the rest of your life?

some_dude123

By some_dude123
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

some_dude123 Member

some_dude123

Posted
Posted

What's worse - having a spouse you absolutely dread coming home to or being single and alone with little prospects of finding a significant other?



 

 

crazycatlady Established Member

crazycatlady

Posted
Posted

I couldn't live with coming home to someone I dreaded every day for the rest of my life. And I would be very ticked off if I found out he felt that way about coming home to me. So I would much rather be single then unhappily married. Or even roommate married.

 

I don't need happiness every day and I accept that sometimes he will piss me off and sometimes I'll piss him off. But if he's not excited to see me, let me go and find someone who excites you. And if I lose being excited to see him, I'm not sticking around just to keep from being alone.

 

Alone does not scare me. Lack of sex scares me a little, but I can't imagine wanting regular sex in your senario anyway.

 

CCL

You Go Girl Established Member

You Go Girl

Posted
Posted

The latter, OBVIOUSLY!

I say obviously because, I can and am learning to be my own best pal. You have to in this world--who else can you depend upon?

There's family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, pets, hobbies, the tv, a good movie, a great book, LS forum, and so many other places to connect with people, that if the right relationship doesn't come along, oh well...you can still enjoy the ride.

burningheart Member

burningheart

Posted
Posted

No one wants to be alone in life.....Coming home to person who make you smile from the inside out with happiness is what we all seek,

I rather be alone and happy:laugh:

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

Posted
Posted

Single and alone...easily...

Pyro Established Member

Pyro

Posted
Posted

This is a no brainer.......

 

I'd rather be alone then be with someone like that.

 

Next question.

califnan Established Member

califnan

Posted
Posted

Have had two opportunities for remarriage in 24 years .. without going out... (Hopefully, it would have been more - it I had put myself out there :laugh:)..

 

Let's hear it for not compromising.. :)

 

Marriage should be for two people, who cannot live without one another.. At least there is something to look forward to :bunny::bunny: ;)

Green Established Member

Green

Posted
Posted

What's worse - having a spouse you absolutely dread coming home to or being single and alone with little prospects of finding a significant other?

 

 

 

 

 

This would be like some one comming to me with a choice between being blind or deaf. Both options are bad, but one is worse.

 

With out more info I couldn't answer that question.

 

Like do I get to have children with this wife I hate, and do I love the children?

 

In real life I don't see people being faced with this choice between remaining single for life or being unhappy with partner.

califnan Established Member

califnan

Posted
Posted
This would be like some one comming to me with a choice between being blind or deaf. Both options are bad, but one is worse.

 

With out more info I couldn't answer that question.

 

Like do I get to have children with this wife I hate, and do I love the children?

 

In real life I don't see people being faced with this choice between remaining single for life or being unhappy with partner.

 

----------------------

 

You are funny ... "blind or deaf" ..

 

:laugh:

califnan Established Member

califnan

Posted
Posted

Maybe I misread the original question a little.. I believe in being a whole, complete person, first.. If God has someone for me - fine..

 

But as for those who have never known the joys of marriage and of having children, I certainly cannot speak for them..

D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

Posted
Posted

Lots of people stay in unhappy marriages. I don't think anyone approaches marriage with this intention, but it can and often does turn out that way. Sometimes people settle because it's easier than leaving.

califnan Established Member

califnan

Posted
Posted
I'd rather be alone. I can get a dog for companionship. :) a dog never gripes, asks for very little, and is always happy to see you.

 

----------------

 

you don't count - you have a boyfriend .. :D

califnan Established Member

califnan

Posted
Posted
Yep! And if he turns out to be a dud (yeah right), I have my dogs to keep me company!

 

------------------

 

Are you in love with him yet ..

motogirl Member

motogirl

Posted
Posted

Being single is definitely better than being married to the wrong person.

 

I was married to the wrong person for almost 15 years. I had a niggling feeling I shouldn't marry him but was 20 years old, naive and he was my first real relationship. The first couple of years were...okay...nothing wonderful, just...okay. Then when things got stressful with life and kids, it was miserable. I hated coming home to him, hated going to the kids' ball games with him, hated talking to him, etc. Yet, I felt lonely and longed for a real relationship with someone I loved and loved me in return.

 

It was a hard decision but I finally decided I would be better off alone. Of course, I hoped I would find a wonderful guy and real love the second time around...but I was prepared to be alone and knew I would be happier single than with him. I was going to wait until my kids were older but I found out he was cheating and that was it. So, I found myself filing for divorce at 35 with a 12 and 7 year old.

 

As it turned out, I wasn't single for very long. I met a wonderful guy and I experienced all of the sparks and excitement I didn't experience with dating and marriage to my ex. I'm remarried now and can honestly say this is how marriage should be...of course, no relationship is perfect...but this one is darn close. :love:

 

I can't have regrets about marrying my ex because that relationship gave me two children that I love dearly and can't imagine being without. I can definitely say though that being single would be better than being married to the wrong person.

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted

Single, definitely...although I'm not understanding why alone? I have friends, family, coworkers, if not a partner.

 

I could be happy single. I could not be happy living with a person I dread seeing. Well, I probably could find some happiness even in that reality, but it would be a challenge!

Eeyore79 Established Member

Eeyore79

Posted
Posted

Being alone is definitely better than being with the wrong person. If you're alone, at least you have hope of finding someone. Marrying the wrong person is the same as giving up hope. It's even worse if the other person is really keen on you, because you're stuck in a permanent cycle of refusing sexual advances while they're trying to make you feel guilty and asking you what's wrong (and you can't exactly answer "I don't love you or find you attractive", so you have to lie).

 

I find that if you don't really want to be with your partner, you end up sitting in a different room and avoiding them anyway, so you might as well be single. A dog is better company than a person you don't love; at least you would love the dog. If you're single, you don't feel pressured to have sex with someone you don't desire, you don't have to pretend to love someone, you're a free agent and can do whatever you want, and if the right person happens to come along you're free to date them.

 

The only issue is when it comes to children; if you don't find a partner you can't have children. I guess it's easier for women, since we can have kids on our own via artificial insemination if we really want to.

  • Author
some_dude123 Member

some_dude123

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Why do you ask, OP? Do you have a spouse you dread coming home to?

:(

 

No just something that I have been wondering for a long time. I mean on the one hand I would hate to be alone all my life. But on the other hand if I have a spouse who I dread coming home to that also wouldn't be good.

Nikki Sahagin Established Member

Nikki Sahagin

Posted
Posted

Single and alone. You can be 'alone' but not lonely; you can have family, friends, pets, hobbies, interests, freedom AND the possibility of finding 'the one.' If you are attached and unhappy you are cutting yourself off from that. I think many people are only in relationships to avoid being alone, but i'm the opposite and avoid relationships unless I have already built up a significant history with a person. I think people are afraid of 'loneliness' but we are born alone and die alone; learning to be happy, content and free as yourself without a partner is the most liberating gift you can ever learn. This does not mean I am never afraid of not having a partner, as thats wonderful, but to be stuck with a partner I did not love, would be worse for me personally.

rewe4reel Established Member

rewe4reel

Posted
Posted

What's worse - having a spouse you absolutely dread coming home to or being single and alone with little prospects of finding a significant other?



 

 

 

 

This is a trick question.

 

Everyone who says they married the "wrong" spouse did so because they were afraid of being single and alone.

Green Established Member

Green

Posted
Posted
This is a trick question.

 

Everyone who says they married the "wrong" spouse did so because they were afraid of being single and alone.

 

Or maybe they married some one they loved and could not be without and gave up on that spouse a decade later or whatever. What does it even mean to be single and alone the rest of your life? Do you still get to have a gf and kids if your marital status is single... I'm asuming the question meant to oversimplify

Jersey Shortie Established Member

Jersey Shortie

Posted
Posted

Single alone. I could have stayed with a few Mr. Wrongs.

Mimolicious Established Member

Mimolicious

Posted
Posted

Single, alone and in peace (like I am now) rathen than being married to the douche I was married to. I can't say I married the wrong person, he was my best friend and the love of my life, the father of my kids but one day he decided to have an affair, lie, cheat and our marriage ended. I rather be alone than to be in that miserable dark room I was before. Better alone than with bad company!

 

One day I will find someone that can love me and I can love him without all that pain...:love:

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...