missfrenchie Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 Ok... I would love to hear your take on this one guys and girls. So my boyfriend and I have been togetherfor 6 months. Yesterday was my 27th birthday and he took me out to this amazing little Italian restaurant. It was a really nice night together... Halfway through dinner, he asked if I felt different, getting older etc. I was honest and said yeah... I do actually. Closer to 30 and I'm not where I thought I'd be but I'm happy where I'm at. He actually asked me if I wanted kids... I was completely stumped. Not exactly the sort of conversation I wanted to be having eating my dinner, on my birthday. I asked him and he said... "Maybe. If I find the right person I'd like to, yeah..." WTF did this mean??? I guess the only way to really know is to actually ask him. Did I interperate this all wrong? Just assuming that I wasn't the "right person"... Or was he just being general...??? I was completely floored. I almost felt like he was saying I'm an "in between" till he does find the right person. I just don't know what to make of it... We've only been together for 6 months and are planning to travel back to his home in France in August. We are serious, but not enough to be thinking about kids... Any advice...???
skydiveaddict Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 I think he was talking about you. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Happy b-day by the way
Author missfrenchie Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 Thank you You think he was talking about me not being the right person???
Toki Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 Guys say stupid things, it's in our nature. Even doctors say dumb things from time to time, he probably meant you but since you didn't give him a solid answer made an attempt to back track in order to appease you, but he didn't want to say "with you" because then it would be make him feel like a fool so he said "the right one" which was his way of saying "AH! I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!".
skydiveaddict Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 Thank you You think he was talking about me not being the right person??? No just the opposite
Author missfrenchie Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 Guys say stupid things, it's in our nature. Even doctors say dumb things from time to time, he probably meant you but since you didn't give him a solid answer made an attempt to back track in order to appease you, but he didn't want to say "with you" because then it would be make him feel like a fool so he said "the right one" which was his way of saying "AH! I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!". I hope you're right Toki!! No girl wants to feel that she is the "in between" until something better comes along. I actually got a bit upset and had to excuse myself to the bathroom coz I was tearing up. When he asked me I said, it was a difficult question to answer. When I said that, he said it was a yes or no question. In the end we both said kids weren't something we wanted right now. But one day - maybe. I returned from the bathroom and he noticed I was a little bit upset and asked me what was wrong. I just explained that it wasn't a conversation we really needed to have then and there and he kept apologising and saying we'll change the subject. It's been bugging the **** out of me all morning and all I want to do now is ask what he meant... Another thing I need to consider, is he is French so there is a small discrepancy in the things he says and what he means, compared to Australians. BAH! Why am I making such a big deal over this!?
IronMaiden Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 I would interpret it much more to be about him not being ready for kids, and just in essence saying, 'well, if all the stars aligned perfectly, maybe'. He was just feeling you out and being noncommittal. Do you have strong feelings on wanting kids or have you mentioned the 'biological clock ticking'?
Toki Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 Has he ever said anything else regarding some other person that has made you suspicious of him? If not, I'd lay your suspicions to rest, if it's something that bothers you that much, why not confront him about it? Just say "You said so-and-so at my birthday dinner, and I took it mean ____; What should I think about this?" If he blundered in his speech, or didn't understand what it meant to you, he'll put your fears to rest.
Author missfrenchie Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 I would interpret it much more to be about him not being ready for kids, and just in essence saying, 'well, if all the stars aligned perfectly, maybe'. He was just feeling you out and being noncommittal. Do you have strong feelings on wanting kids or have you mentioned the 'biological clock ticking'? Funny thing is IronMaiden... I haven't!! We always joke around in public when we hear a kid crying because we don't have that responsibility, so I really have no clue as to what prompted the question. I did feel like he was trying to suss me out in someway but I'm unsure what his motives were. Maybe it was just a completely innocent question. We were talking about his brother back in France who has been with his gf for 6 years. She wants kids, he doesn't right now. She is 31. All I said was that I understand where she is coming from, being 31 she would feel like time is essentially "running out"... But he never asked me then, which would have been the perfect segway!
Pfiend101 Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 lol He wouldn't have asked you if you want kids then say he doesnt want them with you on your BDAY dinner unless hes a real DBAG. Sounds like the others have said he's into you just the words came out wrong.
Author missfrenchie Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 Has he ever said anything else regarding some other person that has made you suspicious of him? If not, I'd lay your suspicions to rest, if it's something that bothers you that much, why not confront him about it? Just say "You said so-and-so at my birthday dinner, and I took it mean ____; What should I think about this?" If he blundered in his speech, or didn't understand what it meant to you, he'll put your fears to rest. No... Never. he's the most honest and sincere guy I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. He's up front and honest, even if he knows it may upset me. I should really just stop worrying about it. We have exciting travel plans coming up and that's all I care about for now... Haha, easier said than done. I guess my problem is that when things like that are said - I automatically doubt myself. It may have been completely innocent...
Author missfrenchie Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 You guys are really awesome... Thank you heaps for giving your opinions x
electricity Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 I think he just wants to know if you're on the same page wrt having kids someday, but doesn't want to scare you off by suggesting that he wants to have kids with you after only dating for 6mo. It probably just came out wrong if you thought he meant he didn't want to have kids with you, ever.
Green Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 I don't think he would bring it up unless he is A) a real dick who wanted to tease you or B) He likes the idea of having kids with you. My guess is it was option "B" In the future the best way to avoid wondering is to just ask him to clarify.
Author missfrenchie Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 Awww... the poor guy. He's not always the best with his words... It was probably just innocent enough - But it IS a scary topic. I really hope you are all right!!!!!
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