Butterflying Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 I join these meetup groups in my city in order to meet new people and get more involved with community events. I live in a pretty big city, not New York in the United States. But it's almost like that, very hip, very crowded, yet quite lonely at times. So here's the thing, I join these groups online that list hundreds of members. The organizer chooses great spots for gatherings and since the meetups are specific, everyone is there for a common cause like book club, or bowling. However, only three or four people show up for the gatherings. When I arrive, I am the only NEW person in the group. The other three people are best friends. And I spend the whole evening trying to "fit in." This was not what I had in mind. What should I do?
alphamale Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 What should I do? join the largest groups, not the smaller ones. generally the dining out and singles groups are pretty big. you can do a search of groups by number of members near you zip code
Author Butterflying Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 (edited) Right now, as I'm posting this, I'm sitting with a group of four other people who are reading, writing, and using laptop computers. It's a book club. We are supposed to be "creating." But nobody is talking are interacting with each other. One guy is a journalist so he's probably working on something for his job. One girl is a teacher and it looks like she's grading papers. The three of us with computers could be browsing the web, or posting on Loveshack:D This is so lame. I need peace and quiet when I read. We're at a popular cafe that has a very good energy. But it's too noisey for me to do anything that requires consentration. There's just too much going on around me. Why would a group of people need to "get together" in order to do their own individual things? I want to talk, mingle, and procreate.... okay maybe not procreate but you get the idea! I can post on Loveshack at home. I didn't come all the way out here to do it. Edited May 13, 2010 by Butterflying
Ilovecake Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 I join these meetup groups in my city in order to meet new people and get more involved with community events. I live in a pretty big city, not New York in the United States. But it's almost like that, very hip, very crowded, yet quite lonely at times. So here's the thing, I join these groups online that list hundreds of members. The organizer chooses great spots for gatherings and since the meetups are specific, everyone is there for a common cause like book club, or bowling. However, only three or four people show up for the gatherings. When I arrive, I am the only NEW person in the group. The other three people are best friends. And I spend the whole evening trying to "fit in." This was not what I had in mind. What should I do? I've done this too. I assume you are doing this through a website like www.meetup.com. I also felt like I didn't belong and wasn't all that comfortable even though the people were very nice and friendly, however you could tell they already knew each other pretty well. Of course they got to know each other because they kept attending the meetings. I stopped, I just started dreading going. Have you considered joining an adult class or something a little more permanent where everyone will be new at the same time?
Author Butterflying Posted May 15, 2010 Author Posted May 15, 2010 I've done this too. I assume you are doing this through a website like www.meetup.com. I also felt like I didn't belong and wasn't all that comfortable even though the people were very nice and friendly, however you could tell they already knew each other pretty well. Of course they got to know each other because they kept attending the meetings. I stopped, I just started dreading going. Have you considered joining an adult class or something a little more permanent where everyone will be new at the same time? Yes but structured classes are a little too demanding. My work schedule isn't flexible enough for me to commit something like that. But it's a great idea!
jedc53 Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 Meeting new people can be a lot of fun.It provides the opportunity to have a conversation with someone new who you might share something in common with, or who you might be able to have an interesting discussion or who might even become a good friend.I need peace and quiet when I read.We're at a popular cafe that has a very good energy.But it's too noisy for me to do anything that requires concentration.
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