Darth Vader Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 But I'm surprised you didn't look at it from your H's point of view. With your recent track record of cheating he didn't trust you to be around any other men friends of yours. Whether married or not. I don't think he wants what you guys had and probably sees that as a farce now. He will never get the picture of you opening your legs for another man out of his mind. Men are like that. That picture was probably burning a hole in his brain and that's what made him up and leave. Don't worry about her Ex, some other woman (he has one now) is probably riding him like a bucking bronco helping him to orgasm and forget all the misery and pain that he's been put through! I can't blame her Ex for dropping her! After her riding an OM for that long, shoot, the Ex deserves to have someone else ride him for a change! She has to let him go, and move on with her life!
stillafool Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 Don't worry about her Ex, some other woman (he has one now) is probably riding him like a bucking bronco helping him to orgasm and forget all the misery and pain that he's been put through! I can't blame her Ex for dropping her! After her riding an OM for that long, shoot, the Ex deserves to have someone else ride him for a change! She has to let him go, and move on with her life! :lmao::lmao:I'm sorry Bobbie, but it's true. This other girl knows she has herself a good man.
Darth Vader Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 :lmao::lmao:I'm sorry Bobbie, but it's true. This other girl knows she has herself a good man. Why did you bump my name out of my original post? Ok, NM, I see that happens automatically..... Glad you got a kick out of it though:cool::cool:.
whguy Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 Bobbie could just about be my ex. SO many similarities - the whole righteous attitude (I know better what you want than you do), the "trivial mistake" attitude that is seething through these posts! Bobbie, a mistake is forgetting butter at the store or leaving work too late to pick up the dry cleaning. A mistake is not betrayal followed by "justified" betrayal. Your EX husband is on to a much better life. Trust me. My story is similar enough that I think I can probably speak for him. As an aside, my ex was in healthcare. My sample size is two, but I wonder how many additional practitioners there are that claim to be caring and wonderful solely because they're in healthcare. But I digress...
Author Bobbie2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Author Posted May 19, 2010 No. He had once placed you on a pedestal and treated you like a queen. You jumped off into the arms of another man for what - ATTENTION. You slept with the other guy and carried on for 5 months. Your H never looked at you the same again. He wanted something he could cherish and now he has found someone new and guess what? He has placed her on that pedestal and if she treats him with love he will marry her. I would suggest you put him out of your mind and move on to someone new who you can make a fresh start with. At least, by now, you have learned from your mistakes and will no doubt never make them again. You will be happy again, but not with your Ex. Good luck. I think I am learning the hard way how these things go. It seems that by learning from my mistakes and making my needs better known, I can avoid going down this road again. I need to find somebody new and to let them put me on their pedestal so I can be loved again. Loneliness is a tough road and a big punishment for cheating. But, I will admit, it's probably somewhat deserved.
Author Bobbie2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Author Posted May 19, 2010 I'm sorry I am just catching up on your thread but couldn't you also move out of the house and into a cheap apartment? Also there is a high demand for nurses so you could even get extra work if you wanted to help supplement your income. It's really not that easy when the house is even - basically zero equity. Add in sales costs and I'm stuck. I think that's why I got so angry over him leaving - he can just go be close to his friends and work while I am stuck with our house.
Author Bobbie2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Author Posted May 19, 2010 But I'm surprised you didn't look at it from your H's point of view. With your recent track record of cheating he didn't trust you to be around any other men friends of yours. Whether married or not. I don't think he wants what you guys had and probably sees that as a farce now. He will never get the picture of you opening your legs for another man out of his mind. Men are like that. That picture was probably burning a hole in his brain and that's what made him up and leave. I wish he would have seen that this guy was married and safe. He has a wonderful wife and family and if we had just taken the time to hang out, he would have seen it. My friend was even hurt that my H wouldn't hang out with them, and when he did, he was so standoffish. As for the image, I think it would have gone away if he would have just been patient. I guess that was a lot to ask and probably too much to ask in this case. I can't relate because my ability to forgive is pretty big.
turnera Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I think I am learning the hard way how these things go. It seems that by learning from my mistakes and making my needs better known, I can avoid going down this road again. I need to find somebody new and to let them put me on their pedestal so I can be loved again. Loneliness is a tough road and a big punishment for cheating. But, I will admit, it's probably somewhat deserved. Or... You could learn how to put your NEW MAN on a pedestal, instead of expecting HIM to put YOU up there. Bobbie, tell me, have you spent your whole life deciding whether or not people were being good enough to you? Giving you enough? Proving themselves to you?
califnan Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I wish he would have seen that this guy was married and safe. He has a wonderful wife and family and if we had just taken the time to hang out, he would have seen it. My friend was even hurt that my H wouldn't hang out with them, and when he did, he was so standoffish. QUOTE] ------------------- Bobbie, After the discovered affair - That was the time for you to relinquish all outside social activities.. Your marriage at that time, was too sensitive and critical to take on more people.
Darth Vader Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Or... You could learn how to put your NEW MAN on a pedestal, instead of expecting HIM to put YOU up there. Bobbie, tell me, have you spent your whole life deciding whether or not people were being good enough to you? Giving you enough? Proving themselves to you? I see where you're going..... What an ego!
stillafool Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I think I am learning the hard way how these things go. It seems that by learning from my mistakes and making my needs better known, I can avoid going down this road again. I need to find somebody new and to let them put me on their pedestal so I can be loved again. Loneliness is a tough road and a big punishment for cheating. But, I will admit, it's probably somewhat deserved. Bobbie you will be happy again. You have a huge lesson to learn from this and when you really "get it" you will be fine. Yes you will be put on a pedestal again and when you do you will know how to act this time.
bentnotbroken Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I think I am learning the hard way how these things go. It seems that by learning from my mistakes and making my needs better known, I can avoid going down this road again. I need to find somebody new and to let them put me on their pedestal so I can be loved again. Loneliness is a tough road and a big punishment for cheating. But, I will admit, it's probably somewhat deserved. What you need to do is find validation for yourself instead of waiting for a man to do your job. Love can't be equated with being put on a pedestal. Things are put on pedestals for display. They aren't expected to respected, interacted with or even communicated with. An inadament (ornament) object is what that is...is that what you want for you life.
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