Blue6 Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 I will spare everyone the long drawn out break up recap because my life is in utter parell and I am afraid that I cannot beat this. 6 months ago the love of my life broke up with me over the phone because she was 2500 miles away and our lives were starting to shift onto different paths. She said some awful things to me in the end that couldn't further from the truth and literally transformed into someone else. I will rephrase that because I know someone cannot literally transform, but, the good hearted, sweet, caring person I knew and loved just seemed to disappear. Needless to say, losing her was and has been devastating. We grew extremely close in the year we were together and even lived together for 8 months. It was intense to say the least, but I knew deep down this was the first time I had ever really and truly loved someone. Shortly after this happened I lost my job that I loved and seemingly from then on out, I've lost myself and my purpose. I have become some kind of zombie ghost who can't feel anything and all of this has lead to extreme lows with the tremendous burdens of guilt and sadness. I checked myself in the ER the other day because I feared for my safety. I was released several hours later on my own accord with the recommendation to seek help in the form of antidepressants and some therapy. Being a sensitive person has not helped me through all of this because I just feel things so deeply they kinda take over. at 26, I don't have my college degree, am in serious debt with no real direction or passion in life and am just clueless. All of the choices i've made in my life are mine and I am in no way blaming anyone for them but myself but I just feel like a worthless human being who doesn't deserve to be happy. I don't know where I am going with all this but when I try to dig deep to find some kind of light to grab onto and climb my way out of this I can't. I keep hearing her words and feel like I failed beyond repair. I just feel like I can't go on..
TaraMaiden Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 The reunion scenario is a non-starter, so leaving that aside, (I mean it, don't even go there....) .....what do you feel would help you start the climb back up?
Author Blue6 Posted May 12, 2010 Author Posted May 12, 2010 A goal, some direction and a feeling that my life has some purpose.
sacg Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 (edited) Everyones life has a purpose. Trust me on that. And one day you'll remember that Man, I feel for you, really do. I've been there, and I'm a lot older. Your in depression right now, and dealing with this loss, that hurts, I know that too. But your 26, a young guy with years ahead of himself. No cheesy ****, but you realise now your not happy with your "state of life". Now you can do something about it. Look at that as a positive!! And move on and up. I left it far too late to wake up. And I can guarantee, im 41 and in a lot worst place than you, financially, and having made big mistakes etc. I felt worthless. I’ve learnt now, some days I feel depressed of what I should have done, what I could have had. But *** it, its material, and my happiness is more important. And I’m getting that back. Finally. And I, even at 41, can still change my future or the better. Life goes on fact, you go on with it, fact! Its just how you want to, worrying and sadness, or positive and energy to change and be happy again. Learn from it, be stronger, better and live the rest of your life. Who knows that may happen next. All the best mate. PS. My breakup devastated me too, badly, it was 2 years ago almost, and im only 4 weeks into NC for whatever reason. She kept me hanging man. At least dont let that happen, or you'll never climb back up. You ever want to PM me, feel free. Check my posts too. I stopped posting when i got real bad with depression, shouldnt have! You didnt! Good luck. AND IF YOU THINK THAT'S SOME OVER EXCITED POSITIVE BULL**** FROM A GUY WHO'S SOME HAPPY GO LUCKY CHAP....READ MY POSTS. :-) I HIT ROCK BOTTOM. IT WAS PATHETIC Edited May 12, 2010 by sacg
garth256 Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 i am new on here, but i know how you feel. I want thro alot of things when i was braking up with my wife. You do feel like crap now, but things do get better. I was in the rut, where all i could think about was her. then on one rainy afternoon this light came on in my head, out of no where i thort entered my mind "it's not about her anymore its about you now". from that moment on i my mood pick up,thorts of her with her new lover started to be less painful, i did'nt want her back in my life. theres lots of other things i went thro before i got to that stage and yes i did hit rock buttom,i did see a doctor about it, and they helped to sort my mind out. I know this my not help but, jest letting you know your not alone.
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