burningheart Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 -I would like everyone's input on this on account i still have no clue, perhaps someone out there has experience this.... About 3 years ago I met a truly great man. It was like a story book romance in every way....we took our time and feel in love with each other. The energy between us could be felt by other people in the same room as us....really incredible connection! all around great relationship.Always able to work through the difficult times as a team. .....( I hope you got the point here.... this was what everyone was looking for, and I had the great blessing of experiencing this , and mind you dating was never a problem for me , but finding the right one was hard, till i met him) I could look into his eyes and know what he was feeling...and something in my heart told me the was more to him them he would release to me, it always felt like something dark. Then I come to find out that people at his work viewed him as a monster literally! Two years into the relationship he lost he's job and moved to where he was originally from....we did the long distance thing, we made that work, by seeing each other twice a month. About four weeks ago he calls me around midnight...mind u I'm awoken by he's call... and he asks me "are you happy?"...Of course I'm happy I'm hearing your voice.... Then out of no where he starts screaming with such vengeance in his voice at me all the things he wants to do to me.....I became terrified!!! At that moment I like emotional went into a shell... I did not know what to feel... I told him I had to go.and hung up on him. What was weird with me is I could not feel anything... I think he put me in shock... Then two weeks after that he flies here to see me... I was still a little weirded out by the thing ( even though he sent me an email apologizing and he would never do that again), but it still felt great to be in he's arms... The night was great, but in the morning he storms out of bed in a fury when i asked what was wrong he said figure it out?.....UMMMMM, I just open my eyes and your asking me to figure it out....I had no friggin clue except WTF?.....He storms out of the house..... Since I was still in shell shock over the phone incident >>>I did not chase him....mind you it was about 7 am. I made coffee and then called him. He was at the park, I drove over to the park and just sat at the bench...I i didn't know what to say to him....I was just so confused, the rest of the day he was that same amazing man I feel in love with. The next day before his flight I asked if he wanted to grab a burger at a local place by my house, he said no he wanted to go out of state for pizza, being the sensible one here I tried to tell him that was not a good idea, he wouldn't hear of it.... so we went .....coming back I got lost and he started tensing up and I could feel his energy was not good, he didn't say a word, but i could tell he wanted to kill me for being lost.....I got lost in a really bad neighborhood, and for a serious moment i really wanted to run out of my car, away from him......I felt safer in a crime infested neighborhood then being in that car with him...we finally got to the airport.He storms out of the car with a quick hard peck on the cheek...and me with an extreme sense of relief....I really don't know if he missed the plane or not....and a part of me for what I went through with him that weekend really didn't care .... so he calls the next night and breaks up with me.....with such angry in he's voice. I never saw this side of him....never! A part of me thinks it's some sort of cry for help with something....a part of says call his mother and find out... after all, she was the one who stated to me I never saw him when he was mad, and she did say if i ever wanted to talk, to please call her. and to be honest I think I'm gonna call her....considering what this man does as a profession, it scares me to know that he can turn like this....Please share your input, I'm confused and still in my shell, I'd rather be feeling the pain of the break up then nothing at all.....how Could I not see that side of him?
TaraMaiden Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 His mother knows something you don't. I suspect he has a mental problem, this really simply is not normal. If you are curious to find out, call her, but do not ever think about doing it to get back with him. I see a seriously messed-up individual who needs psychiatric care.....
Author burningheart Posted May 12, 2010 Author Posted May 12, 2010 Thank You for the replies, Yes, Tara maiden, I strongly believe in my heart, she was putting it out there. But she wasn't going to cross the line and tell me straight out and betray her son. How many mother's of boyfriends come up to the girlfriends tell them... "Thank you, your the only thing that makes my son happy"..There's something seriously missing here.....and she wanted to fill me in...She has even stated in the past "Call me, if you want to talk about my son or anything for that matter call me"..... So, yes, She know's something that I don't know.....We lasted so long on account that I never listened to what my friends have said for me to do in this relationship, I always stayed true to my heart, and did what my heart told me to do....I learned for myself this is how I need to live for me.... Infact I beleive strangers give better advice sometimes then the people closest to us.......The only red flag was the day he was screamin at me....and then behavior that weekend...(almost 3 years later I see a red flag??? how can that be?) When people are that angery it's a sign of something bothering them....normally something sad....My heart is telling me to help him.... all normal rules don't apply here.....But I am nc. this is just insane!
Greener Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 He sounds bi-polar; but are you telling us the whole story, because he also sounds like he's suspicious of something? (Just trying to find his motivation here.) Would you consider writing him a letter. Perhaps writing would be a mode of communication with which he can comfortably shed some light on what he is perceiving/feeling. I'd call his mother to get to the bottom of this, for your own clarity if nothing else. Good luck
sphx26 Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 He does sound like he has a serious mental condition.Maybe he forgot to take his meds... You should talk to his mother but only for closure that he would be unable to give you.
Author burningheart Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 Thank you greener & sphx26, Greener, what do you think he would be suspisous of?..come to think of it two days later I did speak to him on the phone and I was getting an incoming call that distrubed our connection a bit ( I have a digital phone that when there's an incoming call it makes a shriking sound and cuts of the other person off)....when I was asking him if he heard me, he pulled a tit-for that--- saying "I don't like your tone, your scaring me...".very condsendingly....all from me asking "did you hear me?.....this was clearly a tit for tat. and we both worked trough a situation where his exgirlfriend tried to put friction in our relationship on account she was jealouse of me...(the only reason he is still friends with her is on account she's dating he's best friend.....and we all know what dating the best friend means.....) and i have learned that he's friends done there all abuse a substance, which now makes me speculate.... Yes, I will contact the mother, I have decided to email her at her work address, and I will send him a handwritten note, I just don't know how to start either letter..... ~any suggestions? I truley thank you all for you input...... Thank You!
monkeywithagun Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 wow,. this is scary. what does he do for a living?
Author burningheart Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 ummmmmm, If I were to state that, That would scare everyone in it's self!!!....This is why it's so mind blowing!......He's profession is supposed to be viewed as highly intelligent and very educated.....
Author burningheart Posted May 16, 2010 Author Posted May 16, 2010 So here I am, just thinking and going back in my head, of everything that was said ,over the course of what was once the most amazing time of my life....feeling and energy so true and amazing and I don't know what to write.... I don't know what to say....? I'm starting to feel disappointed in the fact is love truly blind?...How could I not see this? How could i fall for this?... and why did I believe in him?
WalkInThePark Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 So here I am, just thinking and going back in my head, of everything that was said ,over the course of what was once the most amazing time of my life....feeling and energy so true and amazing and I don't know what to write.... I don't know what to say....? I'm starting to feel disappointed in the fact is love truly blind?...How could I not see this? How could i fall for this?... and why did I believe in him? Call his mother, it will help you to move on. What a horrible experience. I understand that you are very upset as you really did not see this coming. But try to get more info and since his mother proposed this herself, seize the opportunity. I know it feels awkward as you don't like to breach his privacy but sometimes it is simply necessary to understand things better.
Author burningheart Posted May 16, 2010 Author Posted May 16, 2010 Thank you "walk in the park".........you are right, but I am struggling with my opening words....as if I was a child, yet here I am an adult and trying to regain my courage....to do this....Indeed. I do need closure or some sort of an answer....but yet, where do I proceed to begin with this?
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