Seizure Posted January 24, 2004 Posted January 24, 2004 I've loved this girl for a year and a half. I have no idea what t'do with the feeling; I've never felt anything so strongly before. We're both sophomores in highschool, and a couple of weeks ago, she was transferred into one of my classes(1st semester's over). I can tell she wanted t'be nice to me at first, but she definitely doesn't feel the same as I do. She might even hate me. And she was trying to be nice to me, seeing as we were pretty much forced to spend an hour together everyday. For some bloody reason, I acted indifferent and or angry. I, who had been following her around for so long, was ignoring her while she was - well, I have no idea what she was trying to do. I've seen her walking around with other guys lately, and I couldn't be any more jealous. At school, I frequently tear up embarrassingly in class, and I let out small screams every time I think of her with another. And she's never alone; always surrounded with friends or walking with a guy, and when she is alone, I still can't work up the courage to talk to her. I wouldn't have the slightest idea of what t'say, and I'm terrible at any sort of small talk. I swore to God that I would confront her 16 days ago, and I've done absolutely nothing but act angrily. I'm such a bloody coward and she knows it. I'm bad, she's good; I'm ugly, she's pretty; I'm poor, she's rich. Maybe I'm getting besides the point, but I was trying to provide some background. And, well, I've looked, and her parent's names are in the book, about 5 inches away from mine coincidentally enough. Should I call her up? What if her parent's answer and I get her in some sort of trouble? Maybe she'd think me even more a creep if I did that than she does already now. Mind you that I have had NO experience with girls whatsoever. None. The people I have near me are uncaring friends and family: I can't ask them. What are you people's thoughts on doing this? Would this just be more cowardice?
Darkangelism Posted January 24, 2004 Posted January 24, 2004 "I've loved this girl for a year and a half." You do NOT love her. Love is a strong emotion that you cant have if you have never had a date or relationship with that person. You are in LUST with her. I was the same way in High school. If you have been an a**h*** to her I doubt she will like you. You need to at least be pleasant toward her. And if she is pretty and rich and is shallow then you have no chance. Go find a girl that you like that you are nice to and will like you back.
jenny Posted January 24, 2004 Posted January 24, 2004 hmm; frankly, a little creepy from the onset. but such is high school, and i find your post pretty touching, actually. i'm sure you're much hotter and more interesting and intelligent than you might think. i would nix on the phone for right now; you are way too intense at the moment. the following are games, but useful games, i think, in your group, because if you go the direct approach with your mindset you will scare her silly. do you have her email? can you get it? here is how i would recommend that you precede, but i'm sure someone closer to your age group may have better advice: 1. get her email address and forward her things that you forward others. nothing crude, only the witty, surprising, things. i'm sure we have recommendations if necessary. i'll bet dyermaker has some more; you might want to seek him in general for advice on this topic. he is in your age group, but has most women on this forum, of all ages, adequately but respectfully seduced. anyway, preface email by saying something like : you're in my _____ class; i enjoy your comments/smarta$$-ery and thought you'd dig this: < amusing ironic link> 2. if you call her, just simply ask her to "insert excellent event" and then get off the phone. do not confess your feelings. do not confess any long term thoughts on the matters. just make a date and get the hell off the phone. 3. stop thinking of yourself as 'less-than'. baby, we can smell that a while away and it makes us cruel. change your thinking, immediately. you love her because, in your view, she is worthy of love. she lives up to *your* standards. keep us updated, sugar. and hang in there. if you actually want to win this girl, you must change your strategy NOW.
Seizure Posted January 24, 2004 Posted January 24, 2004 Oh, I know I don't love her. I can never get near her, and so I don't know her, so how could I lover her? But, she doesn't seem shallow. What attracts me to her is that she's a much better person than I am, as far as I can see, of course. Anyway, it's more that I have been an a**h*** to people around her.
Seizure Posted January 24, 2004 Posted January 24, 2004 I do actually think I can get her e-mail address through a friend of hers.
Darkangelism Posted January 25, 2004 Posted January 25, 2004 I had a similiar situation in high school, got me in a lot of trouble, you sound like you are stalking her and that is disturbing. "I, who had been following her around for so long" Thats kinda stalkerish. "I've seen her walking around with other guys lately, and I couldn't be any more jealous." You shouldnt be jealous, first of all she is not your gf and 2nd she can have boys who are just friends. "At school, I frequently tear up embarrassingly in class, and I let out small screams every time I think of her with another." That is obessive. come on bro, tearing up? small screams? You havnt even gone on a date with her. "Mind you that I have had NO experience with girls whatsoever. None." That is obvious. Try reading the posts on this site, they will help you figure it out. Im sorry that I had to rip at you, but you need to hear it. If you don't you will have more stalker like tendencies, which could result in her getting really angy and reporting you to the school for harrassment, what a way for your family to find out about your interest in girls. Now you have two options, one change that way you approach her, but dont be surprised if you get rejected, or two move on, and find someone else.
Seizure Posted January 25, 2004 Posted January 25, 2004 I have much recognised that I had been acting stalkerishly, and so I have stopped acting so, and I have actually ignored her as fully as I could for the past couple of weeks. She does, however, still absolutely occupy my every thought, and we will be nearby eachother for the next few months, so I felt and feel like doing something for once - perhaps even apologising. Anyhow, I've chosen the former of the two choices you gave me, and will try what Jenny suggested.
mintjulep Posted January 26, 2004 Posted January 26, 2004 Originally posted by Seizure I have much recognised that I had been acting stalkerishly, and so I have stopped acting so, and I have actually ignored her as fully as I could for the past couple of weeks. She does, however, still absolutely occupy my every thought, and we will be nearby eachother for the next few months, so I felt and feel like doing something for once - perhaps even apologising. That's just passive-agressive stalking. Yeah, stick with Jenny's advice and you'll do well.
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