romer Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 I've been feeling much better about life in the past month or so, the end of my 1.5 year relationship with my ex and the death of my mother in January. Of course, Celexa is helping...lol. I decided to forgive my ex and send him an email that just basically said, no hard feelings, hope you are doing okay, hope she makes you happy... and I got a text message last night from him telling me how sorry he is for the way things ended. We texted back and forth for a couple of minutes, so I just called him. We ended up talking for an hour. Seems he's not happy with his current gf who he was seeing after we broke up 3 months ago...I thought he met her before we broke up but he told me last night that no matter what I think he did not cheat on me during our relationship. He told me he should have never rushed into things with her after our split. (DUH) The surprise? He met someone else last week that he really likes. He asked MY advice as to what he should do!(break things of with current gf and go after this other girl) I told him that it seems like he has already decided. He asked about the guy I am seeing, seemed kind of interested, kind of not. Anyway, he also told me that breaking up with me was one of the most difficult things he has ever had to do. He seemed very sincere. We decided to be friends. After the conversation I felt relieved in a way. It feels good to forgive. I still have some grieving to do for our lost relationship, but I feel that I have made a step forward.
ginyi1111 Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 i only hope one day i will be able to talk to my ex like how you did... i dont think i will be able to listen to him talk about his current relationship with another woman and not be affected....ever. how long have you been NC??
Author romer Posted May 12, 2010 Author Posted May 12, 2010 I know. I can't believe I did it either. I have just come to the realization that I wouldn't take him back if he wanted me. The fact that he discussed these other women with me wasn't something I was prepared for, but I guess he felt comfortable sharing. The funny thing is that when I wanted to share info about who I've dated, he didn't seem too interested. He talked about himself mostly and what he wants. But he did go out of his way to make sure I understood how hard it was for him to break things off with me... We split up in late February, been NC for 2.5 months.
yume Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 I'm happy for you...it seems like you're both in a good place...as someone else said I can only hope that my ex and I will be able to speak like this sometime in the future...I envy you
Author romer Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 It wasn't easy listening to him talking about these other women. Believe me. I still have a long way to go as far as healing goes...but I decided to forgive him to be kind to myself. It took alot of weight off of my shoulders, because hating him took up too much of my thoughts. I realized he is only human, and not the man I thought he was. If anything I am angry at myself for wasting the time that I spent being involved with him. I feel that by forgiving him, my healing process is progressing.
ginyi1111 Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 you're doing really well, i have been NC for more than 6 months now and it still tears me apart..but it has been getting easier... i just dont wanna mourn the relationship longer than the relationship itself (we were together for 10 months), its sooooo pathetic!!!!
Recommended Posts