stayingstrong12 Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 Okay, so I'm gonna get right to the point. Me and my ex boyfriend have been almost broke up for about a year and at first i was okay with the breakup then in February i kept having dreams about him and thought about him constantly. I can't get him off of my mind and I feel like there is something there between us still. We havent spoken at all since we broke up just once or twice. He has a new girlfriend now tho which happened after two months we broke up which is obviously a rebound but there still together. I don't know if i should send the letter that i wrote a month ago. It basically just says how i feel and that im not trying to break him and his gf up i just needed to let him know that i still do love him. is it a good idea??! helppp mee.
USMCHokie Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 he dumped me Then I'm sorry to say that there's nothing you can do at this point...and I would recommend against sending the letter, especially if he's in a relationship with another woman...it's not going to help your case at all...there is no need to remind him that you still love him...if he left you, then he doesn't deserve to know that someone he left still cares about him... If he is to ever come back, he has to do it by his own will and desire to be with you...not because you feel that there is still something there between the two of you... And if you've been out of contact with him for that long, how do you know that there's still something there...? He could be a completely different person now, just as you are probably a different person from the one in the broken relationship... It's been about 9 months since my breakup when my ex left me...and yea, I still think about her...and yea, I still think that she's the person I would want to someday marry...but the problem is that the person we have in our minds is the person they used to be...not the person they are now...the person we loved and cared about died the moment they left us... If you ask me now, of course I'd want to tell her that I still think about her and that I still do love the memory of her...but I'm certain that she knew that I loved her more than anything when she left...and that's good enough for me to move on with my life... Don't send the letter...
northstar1 Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 I have to agree with USMCHokie here. I wouldn't send it. I know how hard it is to really let go, but if it has been nearly a year, I wouldn't expose yourself up to bringing back a lot of pain. Keep the letter and read it to yourself or friends, but leave it in draft. I am sure the letter is great and very emotional, however, at this point he may either not reply or reply with complete indifference, which trust me is worse than not hearing back. I have an urge to send my ex a letter, to let her know how much I love her and how special our bond was and how we could have made it work. However, I think my fear that she would either not reply or would just dismiss it coldly is what keeps me from ever doing it. I don't want to face that rejection again. If an ex truly wants to come back, it has to be on their complete own decision and reflection. Stay strong.
starrr Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 Don't send the letter. There's a reason you never sent it a month ago. I think that telling him your feelings will only show him you are still holding on even if that was not your intention. When I feel like I'm going to do something similar I ask myself, what's the point? You have nothing to prove anymore. Don't send it.
ADF Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 It is a very bad idea. His most likely reaction will be to try and exploit your unresolved feelings in some way, probably by trying to lure you into some kind of FWB affair behind his current GF's back. I don't know why you insist she's a "rebound." Clearly, if they've been together this long, she's no such thing. He's not going to dump her to be with you again. As I said, it is more likely he'll try to exploit your feelings and use you as a FWB/backup.
TaraMaiden Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 I don't think he'd do this if they've ever barely been in touch. I think it's more likely he'd either not respond, or ask you to not get in touch with him again, as he's moved on, and really you should too. And if he did say that - I'd agree with him.
Cens Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 In my experience, the letter *never* works. Its just another big emotionally confusing problem that you'll have to come to terms with in your mind.
Tim The Enchanter Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 I have an urge to send my ex a letter, to let her know how much I love her and how special our bond was and how we could have made it work. However, I think my fear that she would either not reply or would just dismiss it coldly is what keeps me from ever doing it. I don't want to face that rejection again. I totally agree. Having someone act indifferent to you after you've poured your heart out, especially when they used to love you, is a harsh, harsh experience.
CaliGuy Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 Okay, so I'm gonna get right to the point. Me and my ex boyfriend have been almost broke up for about a year and at first i was okay with the breakup then in February i kept having dreams about him and thought about him constantly. I can't get him off of my mind and I feel like there is something there between us still. We havent spoken at all since we broke up just once or twice. He has a new girlfriend now tho which happened after two months we broke up which is obviously a rebound but there still together. I don't know if i should send the letter that i wrote a month ago. It basically just says how i feel and that im not trying to break him and his gf up i just needed to let him know that i still do love him. is it a good idea??! helppp mee. Nope. Move forward with your life, not backwards.
Ilovecake Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 I would also advise very strongly against sending any letter or contacting him in any form. I know all about the romantic notion of you thinking that he'll receive this letter, realize that he made a mistake and run back to you with open arms and tears in his eyes. Unfortunately chance of that happening are slim to none, you’re more likely to get struck by lighning. You will not get the response you desire and it will hurt ten times worse then the way you feel now. You'll be taking a gigantic step backwards in your healing and adding on another 2 months of pain to what you've already gone through. If he wanted you in his life he would tell you.
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