I messed up...

[foamy2001]

So, my wife has been gone for three months. We have filled out paperwork and she is moving from Ohio to Michigan on Thursday.

 

I had cut off all contact for about a month or so. We only communicated through text messages about paperwork and splitting stuff up.

 

Then, last Thursday, she starts sending me weird messages.

 

"I know you won't, but I wish we could talk."

 

"I hate that this is how we are going to end this relationship"

 

"When I think about only seeing you at the court date and never seeing you again, I just ball my eyes out."

 

Then...

 

"Will you meet me for a drink?"

 

I said no to everything, kept pretty quiet the whole time. I reminded her how she said we can't be friends and can have no lines of communication.

 

Cut to Friday night. I got off work around midnight. She sends me a text, asking what I am doing. I say about to go to bed.

 

She is out with her friends and wants to come over. She's been thinking about me all night. She concentrated only on the bad times when she left, but lately all she can think about are the good times.

 

Again, she asks to come over.... Again, I say no, but I start to think that no matter what I decide, I will regret. After all, with everything she has said.... maybe there is a chance.

 

She says she really wants to see me and I cave.

 

She walks in the door, without saying a word and hugs me. One thing leads to another and we end up having sex. Immediately after, she starts crying, gets dressed and leaves.

 

I had been doing so well. I had not moved on, but I was functioning. Ever since that night, I have been a mess. Saturday was the worst. I made it to work, but I kept getting choked up and falling apart.

 

I ended up at my Mom's house at 4 a.m. and vented, which has made me feel a little better, but I have skipped two days of school and the sick feeling in my gut is back.

 

I know I messed up, but I just couldn't keep telling her no. I love this girl more than I can explain. She called the day after and said she is a horrible person... that the only reason she came was to say goodbye and hug me one last time, but she was drunk and couldn't stop it.

 

I'm not really looking for answers, but I offer this as a cautionary tale... Don't make the same mistake I did. Now I am right back to square one.

[You Go Girl]

Oh I'm so sorry...nothing will mess with your head like sleeping with them.

 

But you're not back to square one, that's your despair side talking.

 

Wipe the memory of that night out of your head and remember the progress you have made. Jerk your mind back to the place you were before that happened.

Nothing has changed, it's just you plugging along toward a new future, and you'll get there.

[Chrome Barracuda]

block her from contacting you, she made the decision to leave, let her stay gone. The last thing you want to do is get her pregnant. Her damn crocodile tears aint fooling anyone.