LSuga Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 My ex boyfriend and I dated for about a year, lived with each other for about 7 months. Before meeting him I had been single for 3 years. We met on Valentine's Day through friends. We've been together ever since. We hit it off from the start and things took off speedily and were going really well. He was very romantic, attentive, loving and absolutely adored me and I him! He was living with a roommate at the time and I was living with my sister. We were constantly together and I spent so much time at his place that he eventually cleared out drawers for me and made space for my things and I moved right on in. We talked about our future, marriage, kids. He said he'd never thought of having kids before until he met me. Things just seemed perfect. Then little things started happening that changed things a little. The first thing was when his roommates sister and brother came to visit and stayed at their place for about a week. The place was already crowded as it is, so I decided to stay with my sister for that week, even though he insisted that I stay there with him. Anyhow, he can be immature at times and do silly things. One of the things he did that kind of irritated me was he and his roommate flashing their private parts at each other, doing silly things with it and basically trying to get each other to look at the other's privates, etc.. Well... I found out that the whole time his roommates sister was there, he would do the same with/to her all the time. Idk if I'm overreacting but it kind of upset me. He told me that it was nothing and that it wasn't sexual, just in fun. I let it go. The next event happened after we decided to move in to an apartment together, just he and I. He had a lot of female friends and talked to them via text, phone, email, facebook all the time. I didn't care. I had guy friends too. One night he went out with his friends. He came home very drunk and very late and woke me when he fell into bed with his shoes and all his clothes on. I removed his shoes, clothes, wallet, etc... and let him sleep. I noticed his phone beeping so I glanced at it and see that he had a message from someone. Idk why I did it, but I opened it. To my surprise, it was an up close and personal picture of some girls privates. I was very upset by it but decided to let him sleep and talk to him in the morning. So morning comes and I ask how his night went. He recalled the events of the evening but didn't mention anything about the pic. So I casually asked who the girl in the photo was. He said it was an ex girlfriend. I asked why she was sending pics of herself to him. He said she texted him that night, but doesn't remember what happened or what they talked about because he was too drunk to remember. It seemed as if he was lying and I gave him chances to just tell me the truth but to this day he insists that he doesn't remember. Anyhow, our relationship just went downhill from there. I became someone I wasn't. I became suspicious, jealous, easily upset and just not a nice person. We ended up fighting ALL the time. What made it worse is that I caught him in several lies and he had broken several promises after that. So it made me into an even more unpleasant person to be around. He ended up venting to people at his work, to his family and friends. They ended up not liking me, because they thought I was a mean girlfriend. Never once did I badmouth him to my family because I wanted them to continue to see him as the nice, sweet, great person that they knew him to be. I did tell a couple of my friends about our situation though. I needed to get my feelings out. But none of my friends hated him or treated him any differently. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't ALL bad. We had days when we didn't fight and still genuinely loved each other. Those times were very good. It's what kept us together so long. But when things got bad, they got VERY bad! Eventually, I decided that I can't take this anymore. I realized that I had to completely forgive and forget. No more bringing up the past into our arguments. Although it was hard, I was willing to wipe the slate clean and start over. Unfortunately around that time he had news of his parents having financial problems and might lose their house. That's when I noticed him not really trying anymore. He became indifferent at times. I knew it was coming. One day he told me that he loved me but he wasn't in love with me anymore. He said no matter what he did, he just couldn't make me happy. He felt smothered because we spent ALL our time together ( we rarely went out with our friends or had time to ourselves while fighting) . He cared for me, but not in the way I wanted him to. It hurt me because he genuinely seemed sad and cried and said that he loved me more than anything and would do anything for me, always. He said he didn't want me to suffer with him if he had to move back to the mainland to help his parents. He said he didn't want to see me cry anymore. He said that he needed some time by himself, a break. He said that he'd like to maybe get back together in the future, if things work out. He said he didn't want to not have me in his life anymore, that he still needed me in his life in some way. He was very close with my family too, so it made it even harder. We moved out of our old place at the end of April. Coincidentally the new place that I moved into is right up the street from where he moved to. I swear it wasn't planned or on purpose. I'm trying not to talk to him or see him but sometimes it's very hard. He went to a family get together (my family) and I didn't go because I knew he'd be there. When asked where I was he told them I was running around, busy. We've talked and seen each other a few times since the break, which was just last month. We are still under the same Family phone plan and I still use his truck when I need to ( he has a motorcycle that he regularly uses). I still love him more than anything. He is a great person and we had such great times together, despite the fighting and drama that took place. I'm heartbroken and confused. I'm not sure what he wants. It's just very, very hard and I'm not sure how to handle things. Do I just try to cut ties completely and forget about him or should I hold out?
Recommended Posts