ADF Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 He lies to her. Cheats on her. Manipulates her. Belittles her. Yet she stays with him. When asked why, she says, " It's hard to explain, but when we met, we had such great chemistry." Or She lies to him, cheats on him, humiliates him over and over. He cannot understand how it happened. How can she be so cold? After all, when they met, he thought they had such great chemistry. My question is twofold. First, what does "chemistry" mean, really? And, more importantly, do we give it too much weight in our decision-making?
Woggle Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 Chemistry is not always a good thing. It created Nuclear weapons and invented crack.
USMCHokie Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 "Chemistry" = the chemically-induced honeymoon phase that eventually fizzles out around the 6-12 month mark...it is a combination of the novelty and newness of getting to know someone new and all the sex with that new person... In sum, chemisty is a crock of sh*t. Some people get attached to it and hang onto it for as long as they can, even if it's not there anymore...while others use it as an excuse to launch because they crave the chemical feelings of new relationships...anyone who cites "chemistry" in a relationship at any time is just fooling themselves... I once got an "A" in AP Chemistry back in high school. That was the crowning achievement of my life.
TwoForgiving Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 Chemistry is what attracts you to someone new and what makes the sex great at the beginning. However, I never believed that chemistry should be a basis for a relationship. Honestly, as USMCHokie stated, the honeymoon phase is based mostly on chemistry but it will always go away for EVERY couple. When it does is the true test of whether you have something special with that person. Has the relationship grown, do you have something that interests you both besides the wild new sex, can you live with the quirks that were ignored at the beginning because of "chemistry", etc. Your hypothetical person just sounds like someone who cannot accept that there is nothing to their relationship except how great the sex was at the beginning. A very dismal relationship will follow.
silver lining Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 Human bonding is a lot less transient than you'd think. You stop getting the "high" from the other person but you're still addicted. That's why so much sexual frustration can be traced back to people who never broke the original addiction to their mother. Whether Oedipal or not, if you're suffering from this chemical addiction you end up insecure, letting your self-esteem sink to new lows, feeling dead inside as you courageously pay for morning-after pills for some skank that will never be the woman you want her to be. So no, chemistry is not overrated.
some_dude123 Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 Human bonding is a lot less transient than you'd think. You stop getting the "high" from the other person but you're still addicted. That's why so much sexual frustration can be traced back to people who never broke the original addiction to their mother. Whether Oedipal or not, if you're suffering from this chemical addiction you end up insecure, letting your self-esteem sink to new lows, feeling dead inside as you courageously pay for morning-after pills for some skank that will never be the woman you want her to be. So no, chemistry is not overrated. Well said. Very well said. Take note of this reply everyone. The suffering, insecurity and lowering of self esteem caused by chemistry is much like the morning after pill in that it's not very courageous and can leave many feeling dead inside whether or not these feelings of chemistry are oedipal or not it doesn't matter. Chemistry is just a part of life and is not overrated.
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