juxtaposed714 Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 Let me start by saying, I love my wife. We have been together for about 6 years. There is no other woman for me. However, lately I am no longer attracted to her. I think I know why but I don't know how to resolve the issue. I am a very active person. I enjoy doing active things like playing softball, soccer, tennis, jogging...etc. She is not active in the least. Over the past few years we have both put on weight. I have put on a little fat, but mostly my weight is just from age as I am only 26 years old and put on more solid muscle. I'm not jacked or anything, but I'm in decent shape. She has put her weight on from sitting at home while I go do active things. I've tried to include her in everything I do and it doesn't seem to work out. She tries and I love that about her, but everything I do she can't. The weight is not the issue. I think I just feel that she doesn't try. For a brief period she would work out with me and I felt ten fold my usual level of attraction. She didn't lose any weight, I just loved that she was doing something with me. The problem is, she stopped because I worked out a lot longer and our gym decided to change hours and we couldn't go at their new hours. I work full-time and go to school full time so I have a limited amount of time to spend with her. I have the choice of doing something active or staying at home with her. Since our time is limited, I stay home with her. I graduate in July and will have more time available to her, I just think we need to find something that we can both do together that is active, fun, and something she can handle. We don't talk about much anymore because she only wants to talk about the hospital she is a nurse at and I really am tired of hearing the same old stories about how patients can be real jerks sometimes. I don't want to talk about my work or hers. I want some good conversation and some activities. I'm sure she wants the same, but the only thing we have in common anymore is our apartment, dog, and church. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what we could do together that could be active and fun for both of us at a novice level or what can spark some legitimate conversation? We have just become stagnant with life and I'm tired of watching movies and reading together. She doesn't like my books and I'm not a big fan of hers. We've read a few things at the same time and both enjoyed it and that sparked some conversation. It's hard to find books we can read together though.
Fouts Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 Geez, it sounds like you knew each other for 15 minutes before getting married. Not to be a downer, but I doubt some strangers on a message board can figure out how to get your wife to do things with you. You already said she tries and can't. Maybe board games?
allina Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 Is there anything she likes to do that involves getting out of the house? Is she willing to try new things? Have you clearly told her that you feel like you're both too young to just sit around at home and that you want to get out more with her? You said that she tries but can't do the things you do. What do you mean by that? Is she unwilling? Hesitant or literally unable? Can you try planning a hike? Try kayaking? Running a 5k for a charity? I find that getting out and doing these things is great for couples, it keeps them connected, youthful and builds fun memories.
IronMaiden Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 Does she work long hours or odd shifts? If so, she could be exhausted all the time. The other thing...I am reticent to say it, but I have seen it so much...female nurses tend to get fat and not exercise. Don't know why it is? All the potlucks at work? But it is a definite phenomenon I have seen very frequently. Now ducking to avoid the ire of any lurking women nurses...
Lovelybird Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 (edited) Maybe she doesn't like her daily life as well, and she isn't motivated. If one loves her life, she would be curious and want to explore (in a good way). Maybe she needs to do a serious soul search. Do you know what she likes? Edited May 12, 2010 by Lovelybird
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