pinksunglasses Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 About 9 months ago I broke up with my bf of three years and moved to Fl from nc, where we lived together. I cared for him a lot, but he hit me. We've stayed friends and still talked on the phone a lot. During this time I was dating a little, mostly not serious. I tried being serious with one person, but I just couldn't do it. I've ended up hurting people in the process. I obviously wasn't ready, no one was appealing to me, no one was like him (before he hit me) I compared everyone to him. I recently decided to stop talking to him because I needed to get over him completely and talking was in the way. There's a guy who likes me a lot, and I like him too. I don't want to hurt him like the other guys, and I want to actually enjoy it if things go further. He keeps asking if I really like him, because I'm so shielded, I don't show my emotions well right now. I can barely talk to the friends I've made here about it without being drunk or them asking me straight up, otherwise I work my way around the subject and avoid it. The thing is I want to move slow, reeeaaallllly slow with the next relationship, if having any at all for a while. I don't know how to tell him this though. I don't know how to tell him my ex who I thought I wanted to marry one day hit me. It's so awkward because I hate people feeling bad for me. How should I go about this? Is it even a good idea?
Fouts Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 Why on earth would you be worried about telling him your last boyfriend physically assaulted you? There's no reason to tell him that. Take it slow, let him know your last relationship ended poorly and you're not in a rush to get serious and let it progress from there. If you're too neurotic, nothing is going to work. BTW, good job getting away, permanently, from your last bf.
Author pinksunglasses Posted May 12, 2010 Author Posted May 12, 2010 Why on earth would you be worried about telling him your last boyfriend physically assaulted you? There's no reason to tell him that. Take it slow, let him know your last relationship ended poorly and you're not in a rush to get serious and let it progress from there. If you're too neurotic, nothing is going to work. BTW, good job getting away, permanently, from your last bf. Thanks yeah, that's kind of how I was with my friends. But what if he asks how it was poor? I mean I don't WANT to talk about it. But I don't want to keep him wondering at the same time. I imagine if it were the other way around I'd be wondering what in the world happened. I can't just be like, hey that's confidential information that I don't want to tell you, lol.
Ihavenoidea Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 ITs not really his business. If he likes you then he should respect the fact that you dont want to talk about it and that you need to move slow. If he doesnt want to wait its his loss.
Fouts Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 If someone needs to know too much to soon, that's a red flag. When the right time comes around and you've been in a relationship for awhile, it will have it's chance to come out and by then you'll be comfortable talking about it.
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