beatingheartbaby Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 so i have been dating my ex for 5 and a half years. we met in high school. we went to different colleges, about 120 miles apart. for 5 years we have endured a long distance relationship. we have always had a great relationship. have always been very passionate about each other, and always talked about out future together. our wedding, our kids names, our pets names, what kind of house we'll live in. the past year has been rough. i was going through a tough time throughout the year, and became a little needy. she began to distance herself from me, and in turn it made me insecure. we began to fight, about stupid stuff. why didnt you call me? why cant you just leave your parties and talk to me for 10 minutes? why do you choose your friends over me? looking back on it, i regret acting the way i did. but i never hurt her, or was rude to her. i simply needed her, and she felt somewhat overwhelmed...regardless, we always worked it out. because we always had out eyes on the prize, when we could both finish college and finally be together in our hometown. well, we got in a big fight a month ago. and after the fight she said we need to stop fighting, because she is building a wall against me. so i agreed that if i felt insecure or my feelings got hurt, i would assess the situation before i spoke up. three weeks went by and no fight. i went on a business trip, and came back on monday, and drove down to see her. she said she had lost who she believes she is. she believes she has a destiny to follow a certain career path, and she says that all i want to do is marry her and make her some housewife. she says we are way too different, and the fights have made her lose the fire. she was crying hysterically. she told me she loves me and cares about me more than anything, and she feels like she is making the biggest mistake of her life. she kept saying, i just need time and space on her own to feel independant and so she can focus on graduating, and being with her friends. she was obviously confused, as she kept going back and forth...between, I dont know if i want get married and move away, to...but i want to have your babies one day. to...but maybe i just dont ever want to get married and adopt, and travel the world? she told me she feels i have no passions. and i told her that you are my passion, i am in love with you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. she always loved the thought of that until very recently. she said thats unfair, because she doesnt feel the same way. she has lost the feeling, but still loves me more than anything. and she says she needs time and space, so that she can find that feeling and give us a chance for a future. she seems awfully confused, but it makes no sense to me. shes all over the place. i asked her, so what am i supposed to do? sit around and wait for you to feel better? and she said, you can go see other people if you want. i dont want other people i told her. at first i begged to reconsider, and she said this has to happen, i need to be alone. just let me graduate, she kept saying. i dont want the added responsibility right now. after she broke up with me, she invited me to her graduation... the first week, i texted her to call me, and she did. and i just talked to her a little bit to tell her how i was doing and see how she was. and to tell her i sent her a letter. she was calling me baby, and sweetie, and ended on i love you, goodbye. she told me i can call her or text her whenever i want. she is there for me....? the next day i called her, and i just asked flat out...do you have an intent on working this out? and she said she doesnt know, she hopes so. "she is doing her own thing, and trying to graduate, and she needs her space". so i said ok, and i said i miss you and i love you. and she kind of hesitated and uttered a faint..."yyyeeeahh...i uh, i love and miss you too..." she called me to talk about the graduation details the next day, and talked to me like i was an acquaintance. "hi, how are you? blah blah blah. ok take care, talk to you soon, good bye" that hurt so bad. i havent called or texted since. neither has she....its been 4 days no contact. what is going on?!?!?! so confusing. she has told me there is no one else, she just needs to be alone. i talked to her mom and she said the same thing. she said, "she loves you, but you both need to go out in the world and grow up a little bit"... ...what? a week ago, we were talking marriage. now we are broken up and not talking? i dont want to talk to her or text her. it hurts to bad to be talked to so kindly. should i go to the graduation? need some insight. thanks everyone.
Author beatingheartbaby Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 its confusing to me, as she comes home from college in like 2 or 3 weeks. we live down the street from each other...
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