lomf Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 OK....first post so bear with me. My ex girlfriend of almost 2 years, who I gave the world to left me back in February. I asked her to marry me a few weeks before she trashed me, she took her answer back being immature. Said she needed time for herself to get better with things in her life and find herself, basically needed time alone, couldn't be in any relationship with anyone. I gave her all the space she needed, and was fine with it. She said she still wanted me etcetera. BUT that turned into her partying all the time and finding a new boyfriend a few short weeks after she left me in the gutter. Now the cool part. It started out as a once a week thing, she would call me in the middle of the night missing me, wanting to see me the next day, saying she's sorry and that she broke up with her replacement. Then the next day I'd try to call/text her, she would say move on, I don't love you, you're a freak...things along those lines. This happened once a week. I would start to move on, get on with my life, then another late night call...same thing, I miss you, I love you, I'm not done with you, I want you to hold you blah blah. Next day I'm ignored with no explanation. Heart broke again...On the 4th time I ask her why she does with things she does, says she's sorry but this time is for real, we can see eachother after work, said I have to trust her...expected happens again, I honestly thought she was for real. A few days later I run into her and my replacement, ruined me. I changed my number and dipped. I always told her I would move and seeing her put me over the top. After living together in our place for so long, and her not being there, was torture, moving away was the only way I could get over her. I moved about 6 hours away here in the cities in the beginning of april. I reluctantly texted her about some belongings she has of mine. So she has my number, and she's been calling me every 2 weeks now speaking the same lies, misleading me, using me. I don't take her too seriously but I still love her as a person. She's been calling the past few days, talking all night which I did miss, I got a lot of my chest with her, says she acts the way she does cause she's confused, got all my built up feelings out, was like my bestfriend was back. it's like she's reliving the past, calling me love and saying I love you, and I'd do anything to get back with you. Wants me to drive to visit. I said sure, we can catchup, since we've been out of eachothers lives since Feb. See where it goes etc. Then last night I try to return her missed call yes....once more, she ignores me, lies abunch, plays me, says move on, but I'm sorry, pls leave me alone, acts phoney. I'm not that hurt or anything, mostly annoyed and disappointed. I never initiate contact. I know this girl like a book and she'll call again. My logical side tells me I do not want to know her, and severing all contact with her, changing my # again, I tried to be friends but she when she acts the way she does it's impossible! I'm weak though to her. That was long...I guess I just want to know why she is doing this for the past few months, playing with my deepest emotions, ruining me, then acting like she doesn't care. I don't know what to do anymore with her, so confusing and just adds drama to my life. She's a crazy one. Thanks in advance.
Ronni_W Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 I guess I just want to know why she is doing this for the past few months, playing with my deepest emotions, ruining me, You will serve yourself better if you start finding your answers to: Why are YOU allowing her to do this to you? Why are YOU such a willing participant in the drama? When are YOU going to stop blaming her and start holding yourself accountable for your own actions? You already know that going strict, 100% 'no contact' is your only way out of this mess...now you just gotta make a promise-commitment to yourself that you're really going to stick to it. Change your number again, if you have to -- and don't find any excuse to "have to" call her for anything, however "reluctantly" you want to tell yourself it would be. She's a crazy one.Not more so than you, at this point. Allowing others to "ruin you" and "play with your deepest emotions" is about as crazy as it can get, don't you think?
hurtandheartbroken Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 She's calling and using you because you let her. That's why. Please stop. Seriously, don't allow yourself to be mistreated by ANYONE. I don't care what place they once had in your life. You let her do it, she's going to do it. Stop answering those calls, stop coming to her aid. Just STOP. You already set the stage for how you'll be treated. And you deserve better.
CaliGuy Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 The only people that can use you are people whom you LET use you. If you don't want to be used by them, then you need to learn how to implement NC.
carhill Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 Get your stuff, change your number and move on. She's become (or always was) an emotional vampire and you're a seemingly willing participant in that dynamic. Don't be offended when she does what she does because that's what she does and who she is. Accept it and do what is healthy for you, hopefully stopping the bleeding as a first step. Good luck and welcome to LS
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