ally12 Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 hey every1 I have a crush on my friend who is very attractive inside and out to me he has the whole package. He is much older and his gf is around my age im 21 she's 24 and he's 42. The way I met him is he is my guitar teacher and we have created a friendship but not too long ago i let my feelings for him slip! he said he knew since i executed all the signs of a young woman in love. He added me on all social networking sites (you know what i mean). The problem is that he waits for his gf to fall asleep and at early hours in the morning he goes on and talks to me via internet we flirt,we send pictures,we make plans to visit each other outside the classroom and to be honest I love this attention and i have become very comfortable with we havent gotten physically yet (my dream) becuase of his gf. His gf is also my drums teacher and like with him she added me on everything and i accepted. He says we need to stop doin this so we do but then a few weeks later his gf is complaining to me that things arent going well and the living arrangment between them wasnt a good idea, i try not to give her advice becuase i havent been in her shoes and she should just talk to him, but then 3 hrs later hes online with me flirting and saying sweet beautiful things to me and my feelings get deeper I dont know what to do? he calls it harmless flirting, and that he will be with his gf forever and ever, but he told her he doesnt want to marry her and thats one of her goals in life. he always talks about his plan he essentially wants all three of us together have a good night and have a threesome and tat hurt her feeling when he said that and im not willing to do that. He also says if shes caught flirting or cheating the relationship is done is that fair to her i know thats what im hoping ofr but shes also my friend So I do not know what to do just ignore him and continue just with class? Should I tell his gf that he's talking ot other woman online since this was an issue in the past for them? advice would be helpful
Author ally12 Posted May 12, 2010 Author Posted May 12, 2010 please any advice i know its a long read but i need insight
ADF Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 Get away from this man. Now. He is a liar, a cheater and a con artist. And so will you be, if you take this much further. You show all the signs of a young woman in love? Jees. What a cheesy line. He's playing you. Let me tell you something about men in their 40s who consistently date much younger women (I am 40 myself, BTW). Sure, they like sex with nubile young bodies. But many of them also have serious domination and control issues. They want women who are young and naive, who they can manipulate and control. I would bet any amount of money that if you and this man get together, a year from now there will be some 19 year old he is chatting with online while you sleep.
Author ally12 Posted May 12, 2010 Author Posted May 12, 2010 yeah ur right, but its going to be very difficult
sally4sara Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 He says we need to stop doin this he essentially wants all three of us together have a good night and have a threesome and tat hurt her feeling when he said that and im not willing to do that. If he was trying to set up a threesome, his GF would be aware of his conversations with you and the nature of those conversations. And if he were trying to sat this up, he wouldn't also be saying how you two need to stop. He is lying to you and her. Yeaaahh, he is beautiful INSIDE and out. He might be a package, but you won't be happy about whats inside.
BubbleFreak Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 Your guitar teacher sounds like a sleaze, NOT to be trusted. If his outside appearance reflected who he was inside... I don't think he would look so hot. What he is doing to his girlfriend is cheating, and if you started dating him he would cheat on you too.
Frontliner Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 Your guitar teacher sounds like a sleaze, NOT to be trusted. If his outside appearance reflected who he was inside... I don't think he would look so hot. What he is doing to his girlfriend is cheating, and if you started dating him he would cheat on you too. I agree with you bubblefreak. Not someone you'd want to trust.
Woman In Blue Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 He is much older and his gf is around my age im 21 she's 24 and he's 42. Does this guy just chase youngin's all the time? Talk about arrested development. Gag. He said he knew since i executed all the signs of a young woman in love. He added me on all social networking sites (you know what i mean). LOL..the guy is sounding more and more like a middle-aged pervert with every statement you make about him. Especially the almost predatory comment he made about "knowing you were a young woman in love" - the emphasis being on the word 'young,' of course. we havent gotten physically yet (my dream) becuase of his gf. Seriously - your "dream" is to have sex with some middle-aged guy who slobbers all over young ladies half his age? And going further, one who isn't happy enough to have one gal half his age, but is actively setting up his next young "prey" (you) on the computer every night while his much younger girlfriend sleeps? This guy is just a prince, ain't he? He says we need to stop doin this LOL. I'm sure there are plenty young naive students in his class that he's "done this with" before he started working on you. then a few weeks later his gf is complaining to me that things arent going well and the living arrangment between them wasnt a good idea And why would that be? Because he's twice her age and slobbering all over other young girls behind her back, instead of acting like a trustworthy middle-aged boyfriend? Gosh, what a shocker THAT is. Not. but then 3 hrs later hes online with me flirting and saying sweet beautiful things to me and my feelings get deeper I dont know what to do? Sigh. How sad is it when a middle-aged man has to use the computer to sweet talk a young girl? This perv may be 42 but he acts like a dumbass teenager. He always talks about his plan he essentially wants all three of us together have a good night and have a threesome and tat hurt her feeling when he said that and im not willing to do that. LMAO - yet another shocker. Not. How flattering it must be to have someone your father's age drooling all over the thought of getting you and another young girl into bed with him for a pervert circus. Gosh, I can see why you're so taken with him. He also says if shes caught flirting or cheating the relationship is done is that fair to her i know thats what im hoping ofr but shes also my friend. Oh goodie. If she's caught cheating and this loser dumps her, then he'll be free to make YOU his next child girlfriend - while he continues persuing other young girls on the computer at night (while you're sleeping, of course). You are SOOOO lucky if that happens! Here's the deal. You're 21 years old and simply don't KNOW any better. You're easily flattered by male attention, even when it's clearly UNHEALTHY attention by someone who can only relate to young girls half his age. If you were my daughter and some pervert twice her age was sniffing around her - hoping to get up a threesome with her and another young girl - I'd shoot his balls off with a sawed-off shotgun and feed them to the pigeons. This guy is repulsive and borders on being a predator. Don't be too flattered by his attention - if it weren't you in his sights, I'm sure he'd be trolling the local highschool bus stop to meet his next 'girlfriend.' Puke.
Author ally12 Posted May 12, 2010 Author Posted May 12, 2010 (edited) If he was trying to set up a threesome, his GF would be aware of his conversations with you and the nature of those conversations. And if he were trying to sat this up, he wouldn't also be saying how you two need to stop. she has been telling me that he told her nice things about me and that we could get along well and that he wants to have a little bit of fun. thats why she added me to everything so we can get to know each other so she and I can get comfortable with the idea. A while back she went on his computer (they have separate computers) and she found are convos and my pixs i sent him so she knows i have a crush on him and she knows my intentions but yet she still wants to be my friend and that she and him had these issues in the past so she knows how to deal with them but doesnt like it But many of them also have serious domination and control issues. I see this in their relationship she follows him where ever he goes,i understand they live together but its a little bit of an extreme she becomes friends of his that she barely know but when she suggests to hangout with her friends and family he diagrees with her and doesnt show up. thank u to all the responses Edited May 12, 2010 by ally12
SueBee3490 Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 the thought of getting you and another young girl into bed with him for a pervert circus. Now that is funny WIB!!
BubbleFreak Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 Woman In Blue, your whole post made me laugh (not at you but the way you phrase things).
Author ally12 Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 now there's another issue when we are done flirting online 2 secs later he announces is love for his gf online and she does the same i get they are in a relationship but if he truly loved her he shouldn't have to flirt and revalidate his love for her and let the whole world know, because i have talked to other couples that truly love each other and they don't profess their love to each other on the web.
BubbleFreak Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 now there's another issue when we are done flirting online 2 secs later he announces is love for his gf online and she does the same i get they are in a relationship but if he truly loved her he shouldn't have to flirt and revalidate his love for her and let the whole world know, because i have talked to other couples that truly love each other and they don't profess their love to each other on the web. Maybe he has to remind himself that he loves her. Say it out loud and, with the power of superficiality (you can only obtain it at certain specialist stores), suddenly he appears to be in love. In all seriousness, though, I think maybe he knows that what he is doing is wrong, and either a)feels no remorse but wants to project an image of being a good bf or b) is trying to justify his actions as nothing but teasing and that he really is still in love with his gf.
Frontliner Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 Maybe he has to remind himself that he loves her. Say it out loud and, with the power of superficiality (you can only obtain it at certain specialist stores), suddenly he appears to be in love. :lmao:
Author ally12 Posted May 14, 2010 Author Posted May 14, 2010 I do enjoy how you guys make it a humorous situation to lighten up the mood cause u guys all see the negatives in this situation and i'm just blinded by love,it was lust at first but the more time i spend with this guy and get to know him its become more than that
impz Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 I do enjoy how you guys make it a humorous situation to lighten up the mood cause u guys all see the negatives in this situation and i'm just blinded by love,it was lust at first but the more time i spend with this guy and get to know him its become more than that You might. The problem is: Is he just as in love with you? All the arguments are showing huge red flags to you, it's really up to you if you want to meet a spiked wall head on.
Author ally12 Posted May 14, 2010 Author Posted May 14, 2010 (edited) he is saying that at first he wasn't interested, i have had a crush on him for about 2 yrs now, but now with us chatting more and getting to know each other outside of class he is falling for me, but wants to stay thruthful to his gf until their relationship has run its course. He has asked his gf for a an open relationship but she said no and he also states that he going to be with her forever but wiith the games he is playing on she may just get tired of it, he has done this in the past with different girls so they have had these issues before. he says something like he needs to play a game always 2 girls at a time Edited May 14, 2010 by ally12
Author ally12 Posted May 18, 2010 Author Posted May 18, 2010 is it bad that I go to class with low cut tops and flaunt what i got in front him. I am curvy and better looking than his gf imo and he has mention he enjoys my bust. So today it was a gorgeous hot day I put on a little bit of make up which i never do and showed up in class in a low cut top and he noticed and it was a very steamy lesson i must say very hard to concentrate it always has been for me but it has been hard for both of us. am i putting fuel to the fire? we do flirt crazy he saying things like soo what u doing this weekend any hot dates this weekend hows the boy situation(currently single) hows it going talking to that guy on fb all night which is him but hes saying that it some1 else and then he smiles and he keeps mentioning that the security camera got removed in class, and then after class he fb me saying how hot I was ! and that he loves working mondays which he never has in the past i switched my class times from tuesday to monday due to work issues but yeah things are getting heavy im obv ok with it but he always holds back because of his gf he says he need to be true to her whatever that means, cause he is emotional cheating on her even thou he says its harmless flirting and not cheating cause he hasnt touched me yet,yeah right imo hes cheating on her and shes to ***ing dumb to see it i wish she can dump his ass
Mimolicious Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 Thsi sounds like "Making the Band". Geez! Honey, he's probably a serial cheater. I mean, he's in his 40's and with a 20 something y/o GF. MID LIFE CRISIS! If I were you, I would keep my distance from the both of them and just make beautiful music. If you guys get caught, he will prob get with you and do the same to you. On to the next!
Mimolicious Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 I see this in their relationship she follows him where ever he goes,i understand they live together but its a little bit of an extreme she becomes friends of his that she barely know but when she suggests to hangout with her friends and family he diagrees with her and doesnt show up. thank u to all the responses Ok, this is really f*cking creepy. Of course he is not going to show up! There are tons of adults that he cant probably fool at these get-togethers. Lord knows what kind of perv this man really is. Honey, is this the kind of man you want to be with? That suggestes your, him and his GF have a "little fun" together???? You said that this is "difficult". What's difficult??? To cut some cult-like creep off, go live a normal 20 y/o life with a dude that can actually surf?! Don't put yourself in the lions mouth...
2sure Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 He is a middle aged man fishing for a threesome. Period. End of discussion. Thats all. He has an advantage over the other zillion guys looking for the same in that he is fishing from a pool of young women that are his students. You cannot see the obvious predator/victim dynamics in this scenario which generally are only visible with HINDSIGHT. Trust me, not long into the future you will look back and say: WTF was I thinking? Which, by the way is Way Better than pursuing this and asking yourself: WTF am I doing?
Mimolicious Posted May 18, 2010 Posted May 18, 2010 You wish his FRICKING DUMB GF dumps his ass? So then you can get with him? CLASSIC! You believe everything this freak tells you, dont you. Honey, it's your world we just live in it. Don't say we didn't tell you so!
Author ally12 Posted May 19, 2010 Author Posted May 19, 2010 thanks the few fiends i have were telling me the same thing You believe everything this freak tells you, dont you. yes, i do he says we should be f*ck buddies with no strings attached, and then if he finds out hi gf isnt faithful then will together, it will happen she eventually wants a more serious relationship i.e marriage and he doesn't want that cause he has been married before. the thing that is holding them together is music and that she is the bread winner they are in a band together, they have similar taste in music. she has a wonderful paying job in her filed of study and is taking more classes to improve her skills to gain more advancement in the company she works for as for him he works as a music teacher 3pm-830pm kinda of hrs and he sits at home before work talking to me on msn,fb,etc since im home becausse we have the same shecdule. He does have good money management skills but instead of doing more of his share of the bills and letting her pay most of them he goes out and buys music equipment which is expensive she say she hates it but cant interject because he gets pissed and they have an argument, i also find hes very jealous because hes very protective of my body im curvy his gf isnt and he likes my curves so he says he wants to "own" them so he can do wahtever he want to them, this is a has been going on since they were together im surprised they survived it i was always in the middle, he switched music schools i followed him, she quit her music job and does teaching once a week just to make extra cash on aside form her schooling and day job so im very surprised
Mimolicious Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Ally- Seriously let me virtually SLAP you. (((SLAP))) STOP! Stop allowing some washed down, music teacher manipulate you into being a piece of 3some a$$. He should be programming your musical performance and not directing scenes for your sexual affair and trying to *OWN* your curves. He's milking his GF by freeloading, trying to make you his puppet and you find this guy charming???????? WHOA! I give up. Enjoy being used and abused! Kisses- Me.
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