thinkgal Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 ok so I finally decided to write in this forum. I have been in a relationship for 7 months now.I gotta say idk why but many things make me question this relationship.I love him very much and care about him too.The guy im with is in the entertainment business(not the porn kind lol) but music business.Anyways so he's constantly busy and gets lots of calls and texts which is normal cuz of the business he is in. And yes my mind does wonder sometimes if all of those are related to business but anyways to make the long story short and I know that many are going to find this relationship strange and maybe might agree with some of my thoughts. In all this time he has never slept over, not even once.He drives to see me and we spend some time together,it's hard to spend weekends together cuz well not only cuz I have kids but some of his music stuff and recordings at studio happen to be on the weekend.I just feel like if he would make me feel more secure I wouldnt question things. sometimes I wonder if he has someone but when I have asked him he denies it and says that he is only with me, I've also asked him if this is really a relationship and wants to be with me and his replies are that yes cuz if not he wouldnt be here and try to see me. I just dont know but I get this feeling like he is hiding something or like there is something he is not telling me and not opening himself up. let me tell you of one example that was completely strange to me. we went to the movies and ok,everything was fine till like half into the movie (mind you he was getting some texts on the phone and he was replying) he told me he had to go to his car for a bit. I was like hmm that's weird but ok. so he left and there I am watching the movie and time keeps passing and I'm like ok, so when is he coming back??..I was feeling kinda angry with all this ideas going in my mind..like could that be someone else he was talking to? or maybe he had to leave and come back??..so I wait and then I look at my phone but no text from him or nothing...so I wait and an hour passes, the movie finishes!!! and as soon as its over, he comes back and I look at him like wtf??..so he tells me he wasn't feeling well cuz of the food he ate and he had to go sit out in his car for a bit then he came back to the theaters but didnt go back to the seat and was standing on the side(i couldnt see him from where I was sitting cuz there's a wall there), he said he watched the rest of the movie there. So of course I felt so hurt and angry. when we went back to the car, I asked why didnt you text me and tell me you weren't feeling well? and he said that since my phone was in my bag that I wouldnt notice and I told him I would have then he said I could have texted him..Im like no, you should have told me, cuz you made me feel bad, and I also said that what he told me sounded like bs. so then we had like a silent ride back home. He then dropped me off and I was like do you want to come up for a few and he was like that he had to get up very early in the morning to go to his studio and idk but that made me feel he was trying to avoid the conversation. In the car I did ask if he wanted this relationship and he said yes,, then I asked to let me know if this is a waste of time and he said no, it isnt for me cuz if not I wouldnt be here. He then told me to call him when I get home so we can talk while he is driving. I do but I dont get to talk much to him cuz the phone disconnects so when I call back he tells me that the cops are right behind him so he can't talk. so I just decided to send all this text messages explaining my feelings of what he did and how if theres something he needs to tell me, so I can understand what is going on, cuz I feel like there may be something he is not telling me. He then calls me and says that he is stuck on the highway cuz there was some accident that some car crashed into some ppl crossing it, so he and other cars were stopped and the car that crashed into the ppl took off. So of course since he tells me that I dont continue on talking about earlier. I told him I had sent him like a million texts, he says he didnt read them yet. later on I get a text from him saying.."nothings going on, I told you that, that's just me, you need to learn that"..like what doest that mean, that he isnt aware of certain things that make me feel bad?? that he is selfish?? idk.. so the next day I dont text or call him cuz Im feeling hurt and what Im doing it thinking of him, the relationship and crying cuz that really hurt and my mind thinking of all this things, hoping there is nobody else but if there is when will he let me know. so the next day mothers day , he texts me and wishes me a happy mother's day, I reply saying ty..and he says he will call me in a bit...time passes he doesnt so i say arent u gonna call and he replies that he is with his out with his family so he will call later when he leaves..then since he wrote exclamation marks I was like that that makes it seem like shouting and he replies with !!!!!!! so i text back, do it again... then he texts ??????? and I reply , lol didnt think so... so yeah I know that was kinda childish in a way but you gotta remember Im still mad and hurt about the movie thing. so yesterday I didnt call or text and I get this strange text from him in the night...Im guessing we are no longer together, take care of yourself.. so I reply like what is wrong with you?and why does he think that... he then replies to me that he must mean nothing to me with my dissapearing no call acts...and this isnt the first time he wrote this message he did do that once before also cuz Ididnt contact him at all for like 2 days but I remember that time calling and he responded and I asked him why do you write that,, is it that you wanna break up?? and he says no, do you want to break up? and I say no...so its weird and confusing cuz him doing that again idk if it's for attention cuz it makes me reply right away and call or does he really want that??? see its sooo confusing, and Im waiting for the call cuz he said he will call but just didnt wanna talk yesterday...ugh,, I love him but he just frustrates me soo much and Im trying to understand him but I feel like he needs to tell me what is going on...that way I understand this situation any inputs are welcomed,, cuz im soo confused and dont wanna keep thinking of different scenerarios, i just wanna know what is really going on.
ReadyforLove Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 Sounds like a manipulator to me. People in the entertainment industry (especially the music business) do work at odd hours. They are sometimes in the studio from sunrise to sunset but the fact that he has not spent the night at your house not even ONCE is suspect to me. Is being a musician his only job? If so, there should be no reason why he isn't spending more time with you (unless he is Kanye West or something??? ) The whole getting sick at the movies is not unheard of but the fact that he didn't text you or go in to tell you that he wasn't feeling well was rude. And then how he tried to gloss over the subject by talking about the accident on his way home lol this guy knows EXACTLY what he is doing! You don't need to sit and wait for him to tell you what he thinks of the relationship. You need to take a stand for yourself and your children. You have tolerated his half-ass behavior for seven months and he wants you to sit back and accept him the way that he is. The problem is, you are not happy with the current arrangements. You want someone who is going to give you more than what this man is giving you. How old is he? Have you ever spent that night at HIS house? He could be married or have a gf. I don't think this guy is worth your time at all. Time to cut him loose!
Author thinkgal Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 yayyyyyy he called and apologized saying how he has all this things in his mind and the more I get to know him the more I will understand,, im glad he called and explained it better...I know I know,, its sickening how I feel for him cuz I feel he doesnt do this things on purpose is just takes more understanding.... that's what love makes me do and feel ahhhh I can't help it.
Author thinkgal Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 and I just read your reply...and your right about many things...I do need someone who pays more attention to me..who I dont have to say or tell him what to do...but idk is that well I was married before and for like 10 years and this guy is the first relationship so far so even though eventually I do want to remarry(if I find the right person), Im not really in a rush for it cuz I feel like I've done that already...but what makes me feel so weak and stupid sometimes is the feelings I have for him cuz is like part of me wants to believe him but the other part questions...he's on his late 30's
ReadyforLove Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 yayyyyyy he called and apologized saying how he has all this things in his mind and the more I get to know him the more I will understand He is stringing you along, thinkgal. You should really think this one over. Don't let a bs phone call get your hopes up. Really think about what you want from a man and a relationship. Good luck.
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