clueless_cutie Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 Why do some guys says 'i love you' without meaning it? Guys! Would you say it to a girl? I just broke up with my ex. I m just re-analysing the whole relationship and i m feeling that he never loved me and he had used me. What are the signs that your man doesn't actually love you like he says?
Engadget Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 When he says it as a way to get in your pants, which a lot of guys actually do.
phineas Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 I've never found a need to stoop so low as to tell a chick I loved her in order to get into her pants.
Engadget Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 I've never found a need to stoop so low as to tell a chick I loved her in order to get into her pants. Neither have I, but it's a method used.
phineas Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 Neither have I, but it's a method used. Now, have told women it takes time & intimacy to figure out if I really love someone. And that is the truth.
somedude81 Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 i m feeling that he never loved me and he had used me. Why do you feel that? As for myself, the only that I told, that I love them, were my Mother and Grandmothers.
carhill Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 What are the signs that your man doesn't actually love you like he says? A clear sign of the 'say love to get sex' syndrome is where his behaviors change after sex to a more distant, uncaring tone. A good sign prior (to sex) is where there are words without clear actions. Proactive interest, caring, empathy, etc. If a man truly means the words he says, those actions will be evident and unmistakable. Absent my mother and father, the people I've said ILY to over the decades can be counted on two hands. Actions and words.
Quest Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 When I've said it I've always meant it but what I think love is has changed a lot over time ... now I think it's all about actions and wouldn't say it unless I really felt the way I behaved and the way he behaved was love in action. I think most people only say it when they mean it but the problem is sometimes their definition of love is more like lust, or they mean it at that very moment, just not in the wider sense of loving the whole person, warts and all and behaving in a loving manner. A strong emotion/feeling doesn't necessarily mean love, in my book. So, my guess is your guy meant it when he said it - he maybe just doesn't have a very mature sense of what it really means. Just my thoughts:)
Maxxx Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 I have only said it when I mean it... ie. and that has been in one relationship out of my forty years....... The woman I am with now and am getting married to. She is the only one that has heard those words come from my mouth. (other then some family) In my past I have been questioned as to why I wouldn't say it... And one time it ended up in a break up with an old GF.
Ihavenoidea Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 I think this goes both ways. When I say it I mean it. Yet have had women say it to me and fall off the planet. Its a two way road
carhill Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 Yet have had women say it to me and fall off the planet. Yes, this is common with emotional vampires. However, this thread is about men, so we need to point the mirror at ourselves.
bac Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 (edited) Different people have different understanding of the meaning the word 'love'. Perhaps he understands the word differently than you do. Perhaps, he was a player as well. Also, love is a feeling which can come and go. Perhaps, first, he really loved you. Then later, he had a change in his feelings. People from different cultures have a totally different meaning of the word compare to American culture. In other cultures the word can be used in many different situations because the situation implies the different meaning. For example, you had ONS and it was super, you can say to your partner 'I love you so much'. It implies that you love him/her as your ONS and it is just expression of your positive emotions for the moment. Edited May 11, 2010 by bac
Kaplan Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 Here's a quote from my lecherous friend: "I have no problem telling a woman I love her. I love all women."
Eeyore79 Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 Some people take love very seriously, and will only say it when they've thought about it for a long time and are sure they adore everything about you and won't change their mind. Others interpret love as that "I want to be with you all the time" feeling that you have when you meet someone you like, so they say it pretty quickly and often change their minds when they get to know you better. I've found that older people tend to be more cautious and tend towards the former, while younger people tend towards the latter. I know I've become more cautious about professing my love as I've grown older; nowadays I would only say it if I genuinely meant it.
Author clueless_cutie Posted May 13, 2010 Author Posted May 13, 2010 somedude81, carhill, Quest, bac, you were all right.. It was bcoz his actions were contradicting his words since a long time. We had 1 & 1/2 year relationship and during those time, he was cold & distant. He never committed to me. Sometimes he was really mean to me (even though he said sorry afterwards). He was never affectionate with me unless he wants sex. But many times he said he loves me.. Sometimes I really feel that he doesn't love me and wanna b with me. Then I tried to pull away many times. But whenever I pull myself away, he always chased me back. I really couldn't understand him.
TPPpeter Posted May 13, 2010 Posted May 13, 2010 Many guys say I love you just to make the woman happy Signs When Men Don't Love You - Don't surprise you with anything - Never mention that they miss you (doing once in a while has best effect) - Don't seem interested when you mention about hanging out together - When they bail out of getting together with you just to see their friends etc. There are many but may take hours to think of every single one.. LOL
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