Torn between two friends

[daisy73]

I have been really good friends with a gentleman for about 7 years now. He helped me get out of an abusive relationship so I care about him. Since we became friends, I have hung out with him and his wife occasionally. Just recently, I found out that she had been having an affair. She calls me crying asking me to talk to him and tell him to forgive her and its so hard because I know what this has done to him. The bad thing is that she doesnt want to go to therapy. She wants him to just forget. The thing is that she still lying to him. She does things to make him feel like its all his fault that she did what she did. She doesnt admit that she is did anything wrong. She told me him it happened once but I know its not true. She told me it had been going on for five months. Now he talks to me and I feel like Im betraying him. Ive never been married so I dont know what to do or say. How can I help them if she keeps doing things to hurt him?

[xxoo]

She calls me crying asking me to talk to him and tell him to forgive her and its so hard because I know what this has done to him.

 

"I'm sorry you are struggling. You really need to talk to your husband about this." Rinse and repeat.

 

You can refuse to be put in the middle.

[KikiW]

Agreed. At some point you can just say "I'm REALLY sorry you are going through this but I just don't think I have the answers for you and I don't want to lose friends over something I can't help with."

[daisy73]

Thanks for the advice, next time she calls I will try it. What should I do about him. He has told no-one other than me about it. His children know because they found out and told him about it. He's a good man, he doesnt say anything to them because he says its about him and her and he doesnt want them to hate her. We share an office so I hear the phone calls and see the tears in his eyes. Any advise on how to support him?