DeSantos Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 Ok, here is the situation. I been with this girl for 4 months now, i've just started working away from home alot, staying in hotels most of the week and its put us in a situation. So, the girl is forgein born but living in UK, I am UK born and bred. In the past she has been cheated on many times. Last week, I worked away and got drunk on a night out with a colleague, some girl chatted me up basically putting it on a plate and I said "sorry no, I have a girlfriend"... So being honest I told my girl about this and she went off on one saying "You have got me worried and in a scared position now, because you english people always put it on a plate, and I know you've had one night stands before (well before I've even met her) so I know what your habits are... Me being in this postion that you've put me in and you working away alot, I might just go and sleep with someone to make it even and protect myself from being hurt"... So what am I to think to that, I advised her that I don't feel comfortable with her saying that and she said she will forget about it. But, I'm gonna go out having a drink while away at work as I'm bored, I'm not gonna give up my job for her. I don't know what to do, I am pretty shook up by that.... Oh and I know she has the tendancy to do stuff like getting revenge, as she has told me well before this conversation what she has done to people that have cheated on her... I've done nothing wrong and she's got it into her head that i'll go and have one night stands while working away.
BubbleFreak Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 You're right, you've done nothing wrong. You did the right thing in telling her what happened. If she takes it the wrong way, it is her own insecurities. And if she sleeps with someone to get revenge, it shows her immaturity.
BubbleFreak Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 Oh, to answer your question, keep being who you are. She is angry and I guess it would help if you asked her how you could earn her trust. Ask her what she would've expected of you in that or similar situations. Then decide for yourself whether it is reasonable or not.
reservoirdog1 Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 Sounds to me like she could be looking for an excuse to screw around on you. Or, she's a paranoid psycho hose beast. You did the right thing. If she doesn't trust you when you've done the right thing, you have to wonder if she's ever going to. Especially when you know that she has a tendency to seek "revenge" in situations like this. You should really consider whether or not this relationship is worth it.
stace79 Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 The easy answer is to walk away. I am a pretty insecure person ( see my post in this section haha), but I think you did the right thing. I agree with the person who suggested you ask her what else she can think of you could do to earn her trust. The challenge for women is, knowing how many men out there will cheat on you if given the chance, how do you trust the guys you really like and believe are good? If you trust them, you run the risk of really getting burned. If you distrust them, you come across as paranoid and might be alone for your whole life anyway. Regardless of your actions, cheating as an act of revenge is never okay, and as someone else said you have to decide if you want to be with someone who is so immature. She can feel jealousy and express that to you in a respectful way without threatening you.
Snugglepuss Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 She sounds exactly like my ex. Insecure people cheat and my ex was always accusing me of things that were non-existent. He is a very vindictive type. What I've learned is that when a person is always accusatory and jealous, they are usually the ones who are guilty of the things they're afraid you're doing. My ex did cheat on me. Perhaps, many times.
Frontliner Posted May 12, 2010 Posted May 12, 2010 Oh, to answer your question, keep being who you are. She is angry and I guess it would help if you asked her how you could earn her trust. Ask her what she would've expected of you in that or similar situations. Then decide for yourself whether it is reasonable or not. x2 Great advice.
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