WhyYesThankYou Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 My boyfriend of 10 months dumped me this weekend. Basically he said he was looking for more commitment than he can give me at this point in his life (he's 23 and fresh out of college; I'm 34 and have a career etc). So essentially, he was dumping me because he knows he has lots of options for his life, and though he's not sure which ones he wants to pursue, he's more interested in those possibilities than in me (the known quantity). Admittedly I'd been freaking out a bit that day. He'd asked to use my computer to check his email. I glanced over, and he was Facebooking his ex-gf (they were together 3 1/2 years through college). I asked if she was one of the many "possibilities" he wanted to pursue. So he broke up with me, cried, and left. He came back three hours later and said he thought he'd made a mistake, wanted to take it back. The next day he texted me saying the same thing different ways (5 times) until I told him to stop. I feel like you don't "make a mistake" about dropping someone from your life. Even if he was caught up in the emotion and drama of the day, how could I ever trust someone to stick with me when he's dumped me once? What are your views? Should I hear him out? give him a second chance?
ADF Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 He should understand that anything you give him from this point on is a gift. You don't owe him a thing. He broke it off. He's now having second thoughts. Well, you don't owe him another chance. To be honest, I don't quite believe you when you said he sent you to look through his computer. I suspect you may have done that on your own. People nowadays have few qualms about spying. But that is a seperate issue. He obviously isn't ready to settle down, yet feels ambivelant. Your taking him back would just give you more of the same.
Author WhyYesThankYou Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 Thanks for your reply - but just to clarify, he didn't "send me to look through his computer." He was at my house and asked to use my computer. I was letting him have my privacy, but I walked through the lounge (where my computer is) to the kitchen, and that's when I saw him on her FB page. I wasn't spying; I just saw it. But I think you're probably right about the not being ready to settle down thing. I don't expect that of him, though. I mean, I didn't know what I wanted to do when I was 23. I still don't some days!! We'd talked about that and I thought we were on the same page that I would support him (and he'd support me) during life's inevitable changes. I'm just not sure if he made a dumb mistake in the heat of the moment, or if he'd rather have someone else to support him during his uncertainty. ???
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