Caught him in bed with another woman but never told him and just went NC

[Snugglepuss]

Turbulent relationship of 5 years. This past year has been officially "off", however, we had spent almost every weekend together. In recent weeks, I had been getting the hint that he was acting different and something was amiss. Our lovemaking was becoming less frequent and he just seemed disinterested. This past week, he told me he was so busy studying for his finals and working on his car. On Saturday night, I was compelled to drive by his house and I peeped through his window. I saw the bed rocking and heard a girl moaning. My heart completely sank and I just ran. I know it sounds stalkerish, but I just needed to know. He kept lying to me and there wasn't any other way for me to find out. I think I have always known but needed to see this for myself. He has texted and called me so many times since but I have never responded. Sadly, he does not know what I know because I have disappeared. I never want to see this person or talk to him ever again. To me, this is the ultimate betrayal and probably the worst way to catch someone in the act. I have never felt a pain so great as if a loved one has passed. But I also feel a sense of liberation. Does he deserve to ever know why I'm gone and what I know? Probably not. I find myself rehashing and analyzing every little detail and wondering how long this has been going on and with how many women? I now have to go get checked for STDs because of this piece of crap.

[2sunny]

i say good for you! strong woman! it hurts, i know... but he is not the man you THOUGHT he was.

 

the way i see it... any effort spent discussing this with him is wasted energy on your part. he is who he is... be grateful you didn't marry him.

 

he obviously wasn't ever going to be honest - so why bother now - you will only get more lies.

 

an innocent man would come knocking on your door the minute a text wasn't answered. but then again - he is only and always just capable of thinking of himself... heaven forbid you were sick and had an accident and couldn't respond... he knows you know - he just doesn't want to face the reality of getting caught, he'd rather avoid it/you now... what a total wussy!

 

be grateful you know now and not 20 years from now. your gut told you something was off - it was only natural to be sure. move forward - you deserve better/ you deserve to be happy. something/someone sparred you a lifetime of pain and deceit and suffering.

[Snugglepuss]

Thanks, 2sunny. I really needed some words of encouragement and a confidence boost considering, as you can imagine, how hurt my confidence is when the person I love cannot even stay rigid for me anymore. I guess he's enjoying the variety a lot more than me. Sad, really. Makes me feel like all men will eventually cheat on me or leave me for new vaginas in the future. I am truely a jilted ex-lover now.