Ruby Slippers Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 I noted in the benefits of fitness thread that physique can certainly be seen as a negative thing...as shown by this statement... Do women get insecure, uncomfortable, or just intimidated (for lack of better terms...) by the "hot bod"...? Preconceived ideas that they are players or cheaters or narcissistic douchenuggets that must be avoided at all costs...? Yes, I get insecure and intimidated -- but I think experience has taught me it's justified somewhat. I don't assume they're bad guys. The really good-looking guys I have dated have actually been incredibly sweet, for the most part. But yes, women are throwing themselves at them! I assume it must be very hard for a man to stick with one woman, given that. I know this because I was/am very much like that...I've gotten better about accepting compliments, but for a long time, I assumed that every compliment was just someone being nice to me because I felt like I didn't have any redeeming qualities to compliment... Awww. I want to hug you. (And not just to feel you up. ) The most good-looking boyfriends I've had often do seem pretty insecure, and it's usually about their intelligence. My last boyfriend actually pouted at me once after I raved about his hot bod and sex skills! He said he was scared he wasn't "nerdy enough for me" (= smart enough) and I only wanted him for the physical stuff! Oh my gosh, I just scooped him up in a big hug and told him how much I loved him and how awesome I thought he was, and he was all sweet and beaming like a little boy.
marsle85 Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 Wow, yeah USMChokie- you look really, really good. You can tell you take good care of your body. Way to go:)
Author USMCHokie Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 Wow, yeah USMChokie- you look really, really good. You can tell you take good care of your body. Way to go:) Thanks marsle!
Author USMCHokie Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 No I don't think it can be seen as a negative thing. Unless someone is insecure about themselves. Same goes for if the girl is intimidated the other's looks or think that because he is hot that he is going to cheat. That mean she is insecure. Well, my ex didn't necessarily think I'd cheat or leave her, but she told me that she felt insecure about her own body when she was with me and felt really pressured to be in unrealistically incredible shape...it seemed like she felt that just because I held myself to a standard, I would hold her to that same standard...which was definitely not the case...I absolutely loved her body...and I absolutely loved her...but I don't think it was something she could ever completely get over...and perhaps one of the breaking points... So this is why I ask about the whole insecurity thing...and if there's a slight "imbalance" in the fitness of two people in a relationship, can that imbalance be destructive...? Can being "too fit" be detrimental to a relationship...? Or even during the initial stages of dating...?
Author USMCHokie Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 Yes, I get insecure and intimidated -- but I think experience has taught me it's justified somewhat. I don't assume they're bad guys. The really good-looking guys I have dated have actually been incredibly sweet, for the most part. But yes, women are throwing themselves at them! I assume it must be very hard for a man to stick with one woman, given that. I see what you're saying here...so does that assumption almost make it not even worth it to give the guy a chance...? I guess it goes both ways with guys and girls and the whole "leagues" nonsense...I'm sure guys feel that way about the really attractive women...thinking why would she choose me when she could have any hotter guy... Awww. I want to hug you. (And not just to feel you up. ) The most good-looking boyfriends I've had often do seem pretty insecure, and it's usually about their intelligence. My last boyfriend actually pouted at me once after I raved about his hot bod and sex skills! He said he was scared he wasn't "nerdy enough for me" (= smart enough) and I only wanted him for the physical stuff! Oh my gosh, I just scooped him up in a big hug and told him how much I loved him and how awesome I thought he was, and he was all sweet and beaming like a little boy. Hahah, thanks...yea, another one of those stigmas associated with the physically fit is that they're just a bunch of stupid meatheads... Luckily, I'm a nerd too...
SilentVoice Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 Well, my ex didn't necessarily think I'd cheat or leave her, but she told me that she felt insecure about her own body when she was with me and felt really pressured to be in unrealistically incredible shape...it seemed like she felt that just because I held myself to a standard, I would hold her to that same standard...which was definitely not the case...I absolutely loved her body...and I absolutely loved her...but I don't think it was something she could ever completely get over...and perhaps one of the breaking points... So this is why I ask about the whole insecurity thing...and if there's a slight "imbalance" in the fitness of two people in a relationship, can that imbalance be destructive...? Can being "too fit" be detrimental to a relationship...? Or even during the initial stages of dating...? Based on your relationship the answer would be yes. But if I base it on those perfect relationships we all make in our heads I say no.Because it is not only fitness that cause problems like this . So I don't think being "too fit" has anything to do with it . But it is just like being "too fat" either way their will always be problems. I am not to sure but it was one thing for her to want to better herself for you,which is understandable. People look for equals in mates if that makes sense.But if she taught you loved her any less because you wasn't as physical fit as you in her eyes. She is very foolish.
Author USMCHokie Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 Based on your relationship the answer would be yes. But if I base it on those perfect relationships we all make in our heads I say no.Because it is not only fitness that cause problems like this . So I don't think being "too fit" has anything to do with it . But it is just like being "too fat" either way their will always be problems. I am not to sure but it was one thing for her to want to better herself for you,which is understandable. People look for equals in mates if that makes sense.But if she taught you loved her any less because you wasn't as physical fit as you in her eyes. She is very foolish. Yea, I see what you're saying here...it's almost like the whole fitness thing was just a materialization of deeper underlying issues...that it became an issue because she was unhappy with something else that was a more fundamental aspect of the relationship...and just chose to "lash out" using the fitness angle...? Now that I think about it, you might be right...she brought all this up near the end of the relationship...when things were starting to go to crap...of course I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back, it certainly makes sense now...
Ruby Slippers Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 I see what you're saying here...so does that assumption almost make it not even worth it to give the guy a chance...? I guess it goes both ways with guys and girls and the whole "leagues" nonsense...I'm sure guys feel that way about the really attractive women...thinking why would she choose me when she could have any hotter guy... The last guy I dated said something like this to me -- that I could do better and he was afraid I might leave him someday for a better-looking guy. To me, that just sounded preposterous. I had never thought he was anything less than attractive until he planted such a silly thought in my mind. So I would give a really good-looking guy a chance, go on a few dates. I think I'm smarter now, and I know I have good intuition. I did go on a date with a super hot guy a while back, but he seemed seriously lacking in intelligence, so I was not interested. Hahah, thanks...yea, another one of those stigmas associated with the physically fit is that they're just a bunch of stupid meatheads... Luckily, I'm a nerd too... *sigh* Brains and the bod. The whole enchilada. But seriously, how much time and energy do you invest in your fitness and nutrition regimen? Are you just naturally in good shape, or do you work your butt off for it?
Author USMCHokie Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 The last guy I dated said something like this to me -- that I could do better and he was afraid I might leave him someday for a better-looking guy. To me, that just sounded preposterous. I had never thought he was anything less than attractive until he planted such a silly thought in my mind. Unfortunately, this is sometimes how I think about dating in general...why me when there's so many other hotter ones out there...? Yea, I know it's a lame attitude to have...it's a work in progress... *sigh* Brains and the bod. The whole enchilada. But seriously, how much time and energy do you invest in your fitness and nutrition regimen? Are you just naturally in good shape, or do you work your butt off for it? Mmmm...the Enchiladas Especiale at the local Mexican place sounds amazing right now... Well, the chinaman genetics certainly help with the leanness, but I definitely have to work hard for it...I gained about 30 pounds over the course of about 5 or 6 years of casually training through college (I was an absolute stick in high school...) I had always eaten pretty well, but I usually had a little too much Taco Bell and Mountain Dew mixed in... But it wasn't until the breakup back in July '09 that I started to really concentrate on training and nutrition...started limiting the restaurant food and found the holy grail (Diet Mountain Dew...)...nowadays I definitely have to put in the time...
Ruby Slippers Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 "Dude, 'chinaman' is not the preferred nomenclature." (Great movie quote.)
Author USMCHokie Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 "Dude, 'chinaman' is not the preferred nomenclature." (Great movie quote.) Hahahahah, I might have to watch that tonight... :laugh:
Ruby Slippers Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 All right, I'm coming over. I looooove that movie. You are the best guy kind of super fit guy, by the way -- the kind who keeps it real because he used to be skinny/nerdy/what-have-you.
Author USMCHokie Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 All right, I'm coming over. I looooove that movie. You are the best guy kind of super fit guy, by the way -- the kind who keeps it real because he used to be skinny/nerdy/what-have-you. Hahah, thanks... I guess I'm sort of a late bloomer...but hopefully I'm not one of those guys/girls with a chip on their shoulder seeking vengeance on the world... Or am I...
Sweetie1977 Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 Of course!! The things we will let guys with amazing bod get away with!! And if thats mixed with being Tall:bunny: Tall guys with bodies are gifts from god
Taramere Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 If I'm standing in the supermarket queue and there's a man with a hot body in front of me, I'll look at the neck first, then the shoulders...then a brief all over glance and then at the shoulders and arms again. Only for a second or so, but I'll definitely look. I never understand why people go on and on about women checking out men's backsides. It's not really a point of interest for me. Pretty much any man in decent shape will have a toned backside, but there are better parts of a man's body to focus on. Sometimes I wonder if women being obsessed by men's buttocks is a myth that men spread around because in mildly homo-erotic moments, that's the part of other men's bodies they're most interested in. For me, definitely the torso. Shoulders, pecs, back, back of neck, arms...and although I'm not turned off by a slight bit of paunchiness, obviously a washboard stomach is a very good thing indeed.
Els Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 And I definitely agree that physique and even looks in general should never be the sole determinant in dating someone...but as a woman, would physique actually influence you to want to get to know someone and see their other qualities? You see it ALL THE TIME with men...a guy sees a random girl that he thinks has an attractive body...and based on her physique alone, he wants to get to know her better and see if she's someone he'd want to date...shallow, but true... Does it work the same way with women...? Is a guy's physique, or even any other physical trait, enough to push you to want to know a guy better...? Not for me, unfortunately. I dated my SO for quite a while before I even began to notice that he had a pretty hot body - the clothes coming off had something to do with that, probably. Heh. However, I know quite a few women who do. Although for them it's usually more about the face and height than physique per se, IMO.
tigressA Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 I am one of those (apparently few) women who is driven to get to know a guy better based on physical appearance/physique. That is the number one thing I'm concerned with right off the bat. If I don't find a guy attractive I won't bother trying to get to know him.
Eeyore79 Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 Is a guy's physique, or even any other physical trait, enough to push you to want to know a guy better...? I'll admit that if a guy is hot, I want to know more about his other qualities to see if I want to date him. If he's not attractive to me, then it doesn't matter how great his other qualities are, I won't date him. Therefore it makes sense to be as attractive as you possibly can be, in order that people will want to know more about you, and won't immediately rule you out because of looks.
Els Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 I'll admit that if a guy is hot, I want to know more about his other qualities to see if I want to date him. If he's not attractive to me, then it doesn't matter how great his other qualities are, I won't date him. Therefore it makes sense to be as attractive as you possibly can be, in order that people will want to know more about you, and won't immediately rule you out because of looks. Or, you could choose to remain in your natural average state, to weed out the precise sort of people who would rule you out because you're not hot. Depends on the sort of person you want and whether or not you mind narrowing down your dating pool, I guess.
Els Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 Oh, and a question. I understand it's reasonably easy to tell a woman's figure even if she's clothed, especially since most women tend towards form-fitting tops and jeans. But most men seem to go for large tees and baggy shorts/jeans, with only a minority donning slim-fit or sleeveless tops - how do you girls actually manage to see their physique that way? You can really only tell whether or not they're overweight, and how muscular their lower arms are, no?
Philetus Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 On the other hand, women are generally known to be a little less visual and rely on more non-physical traits in determining suitable partners...but would women be similarly wow'ed if they see a guy with a decent body...? Even if just to gawk for a little bit...or perhaps to even consider approaching the guy...? Or is it more 'eh...' for women...? In my experience, they are as wowed as us guys are. The difference may be that they are not as demonstrable in their reactions, at least, not in public. Some guys will openly stare (borderline leering) whereas women glance out of the side of their eye. I'm a weightlifter and I catch women checking me out at the gym. I was with a woman a couple weeks ago and when I took my shirt off she audibly gasped - hottest thing ever! Another difference is that women can be more direct and say what they like. Whereas I tend to say something like, "you look great". Women I barely know will say to me, "I like your muscles" while actually grabbing my arm. It's flattering but I always wonder what they would do if I said, "I love the curve of your neck" while cupping the back of their neck in my hand.
SilentVoice Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 It's flattering but I always wonder what they would do if I said, "I love the curve of your neck" while cupping the back of their neck in my hand. :lmao:
CLC2008 Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 I was in the store the other day, and I forget the two athletes that are on the cover of Vanity Fair Magazine, but there was one in red briefs that made me do a double take. So...yes. But, attraction is **science** Think of the people you've dated and/or have been physically attracted to. Are they all very similar in looks or do they look completely opposite physically?
sumdude Posted May 11, 2010 Posted May 11, 2010 Yes, they definitely do. At the end of my marriage I was seriously overweight. I dropped 60 lbs and added a little muscle. I have a naturally athletic broad chested body and big frame. I was amazed how many women just started touching me... very cool! I had never had that kind of response before in my life. Strange that still inside my head my body image is still that of a tubby kid sometimes. I've put a couple back on since then but I'm still in decent shape. Not getting quite as much response but I'm more interested in something real anyway.
Author USMCHokie Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 Oh, and a question. I understand it's reasonably easy to tell a woman's figure even if she's clothed, especially since most women tend towards form-fitting tops and jeans. But most men seem to go for large tees and baggy shorts/jeans, with only a minority donning slim-fit or sleeveless tops - how do you girls actually manage to see their physique that way? You can really only tell whether or not they're overweight, and how muscular their lower arms are, no? You can't...and you're absolutely correct...which is why it's so important to buy and wear clothes that actually fit...I know women would never buy a top that is too large or baggy as it would look rather unflattering...and a lot of guys just don't get that...or they are trying to hide their bodies under a tent of a shirt...of course you also have the Jersey Shore-esque guys that wear shirts that are unreasonably tight just to display their physique... So that's just another reason why quality clothing that fits is so important for a guy...so he can properly display the goods...
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