EricaH329 Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 Up until the last few days, I was doing really really well. Surprisingly well. I've learned a ton about myself, and have become a much stronger person. I can actually feel the change that i've gone through. I felt great and never questioned it. It's been 2 months since him and I broke up, and he would occasionally send me a text from time to time saying how much he misses me and loves me etc. It had never bothered me. It didn't make me miss him, or want him back. A few days ago he sent me a text, basically the same texts he has been sending me. "Don't even answer me I don't get u I f*cking love u and u hate me I could be doing so much sh*t but I can't because I want and need u and u can't because ur over me I hate that u don't love me anymore WTF Erica we were supposed to get married and have kids y the f*ck did this happen I want youuuuu" Since then, i've been feeling... different. I still don't want to get back with him, but I feel sad. I'm not sure why though. I'm hoping this feeling will go away, because I feel like i've done all the grieving over him that I could. I just want this to be over with already.
northstar1 Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 (edited) I hear you about weird feelings. My breakup is only weeks old and I'm still struggling with the fact it is over for good and although I know we seemed to have ireconcilable differences in the end that derailed it, I think it is the lost potential I am mourning the most, ya know? The fact that for most of it, it seemed i'd met my perfect match, and the future looked so bright and then it all came crashing down and wasn't what I thought it would be. Call it disappoinment or sadness of how I thought it would all play out....... Edited May 10, 2010 by northstar1
Ilovecake Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 Erica I'm sorry to have to say this but if you truly want this to be over you know what to do, you've been here long enough. It might be time to change your number. It's going to keep dragging out for you if you keep receiving messages like that, even if you don't reply. You have two choices get back together with him and keep putting up with whatever it was that broke you two up, because that I’m sure hasn’t changed or start living 100% without him.
Author EricaH329 Posted May 10, 2010 Author Posted May 10, 2010 I hear you about weird feelings. My breakup is only weeks old and I'm still struggling with the fact it is over for good and although I know we seemed to have ireconcilable differences in the end that derailed it, I think it is the lost potential I am mourning the most, ya know? The fact that for most of it, it seemed i'd met my perfect match, and the future looked so bright and then it all came crashing down and wasn't what I thought it would be. Call it disappoinment or sadness of how I thought it would all play out....... I totally understand what you mean. I thought I had gotten passed that point, and I know that healing isn't a straight path, but this just sort of blind sided me because I haven't felt like this in a long time. I'm not even sure if it's disappointment, I can't really describe it. I don't miss him. I don't want to be with him again. But I still have this feeling of sadness that lingers with me. I'm hoping it is just a phase and it'll pass. Erica I'm sorry to have to say this but if you truly want this to be over you know what to do, you've been here long enough. It might be time to change your number. It's going to keep dragging out for you if you keep receiving messages like that, even if you don't reply. You have two choices get back together with him and keep putting up with whatever it was that broke you two up, because that I’m sure hasn’t changed or start living 100% without him. Changing my phone number at this point will just be a hassle. He's leaving to go on tour overseas for 2 months. I believe he left today, if I can remember correctly. He won't be able to text me or use his phone or anything like that. So i'm in the clear in that sense. I also don't really think it was the text that sent me into this funk. I believe it would have happened regardless, considering I get a text from him every 2 weeks or so. I'm not even sure that what's going on with me right now is associated with him, i'm only assuming so because i've been thinking about him occasionally over the past few days.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 22, 2010 Posted May 22, 2010 Up until the last few days, I was doing really really well. Surprisingly well. I've learned a ton about myself, and have become a much stronger person. I can actually feel the change that i've gone through. I felt great and never questioned it. It's been 2 months since him and I broke up, and he would occasionally send me a text from time to time saying how much he misses me and loves me etc. It had never bothered me. It didn't make me miss him, or want him back. A few days ago he sent me a text, basically the same texts he has been sending me. "Don't even answer me I don't get u I f*cking love u and u hate me I could be doing so much sh*t but I can't because I want and need u and u can't because ur over me I hate that u don't love me anymore WTF Erica we were supposed to get married and have kids y the f*ck did this happen I want youuuuu" Since then, i've been feeling... different. I still don't want to get back with him, but I feel sad. I'm not sure why though. I'm hoping this feeling will go away, because I feel like i've done all the grieving over him that I could. I just want this to be over with already. (pushes that LoveShack button that says: "Find more posts by EricaH329") (always finds a sincere and authentic person outlined with words) (takes moment to translate this latest missive from the Ex: ) People (get to) feel nearer to the object of their desires (and emotional investments) when being mean and nasty to them than they do when there is exactly no contact at all. It could be a good thing if your ex is moving to a place where his desperation is unflattering and very helpful in inspiring you to keep moving away from the past. (and since he's going away soon, your potential risks aren't those of others who are similarly weighted by the burden of a recent break-up) (runs back off into the future where he will no doubt click that LoveShack button again)
bananaboat11 Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 Erica - hun.. you know I <3 you, but I'm going to be straight forward with you. You're letting him lead you on. If you truly believe you do not want anything more with him then you need to do everything in your power to press forward. You deserve so much better. Even if it means blocking his number... deleting his contact... changing your number... ...pick up a new hobby. Get a new job. Buy a new dress. Go to the gym more. Take a day off and do something nice for yourself. It's time to spoil yourself and re-create who you are to become a better you.
Author EricaH329 Posted May 23, 2010 Author Posted May 23, 2010 (pushes that LoveShack button that says: "Find more posts by EricaH329") (always finds a sincere and authentic person outlined with words) (takes moment to translate this latest missive from the Ex: ) People (get to) feel nearer to the object of their desires (and emotional investments) when being mean and nasty to them than they do when there is exactly no contact at all. It could be a good thing if your ex is moving to a place where his desperation is unflattering and very helpful in inspiring you to keep moving away from the past. (and since he's going away soon, your potential risks aren't those of others who are similarly weighted by the burden of a recent break-up) (runs back off into the future where he will no doubt click that LoveShack button again) I always look forward to reading your posts!! You are very right in saying that it's unflattering. However, I believe it's unflattering because he does not find any faults in himself, or his part in why we broke up. It is a good thing that he's gone, it makes everything a lot easier, but since he left he's been e-mailing me every single day, around the same time every day. That's the most consistency he's ever shown. Anyway, I told him that if he wants to talk about random every day things (like what it's like out at sea), that's fine. But as far as relationship talk goes, I don't want to hear any of it. The phase that I was going through when I first wrote this thread, is long gone. I believe it only lasted for a few days. I'm much, much better now. Erica - hun.. you know I <3 you, but I'm going to be straight forward with you. You're letting him lead you on. If you truly believe you do not want anything more with him then you need to do everything in your power to press forward. You deserve so much better. Even if it means blocking his number... deleting his contact... changing your number... ...pick up a new hobby. Get a new job. Buy a new dress. Go to the gym more. Take a day off and do something nice for yourself. It's time to spoil yourself and re-create who you are to become a better you. Oh i'm extremely happy being by myself! It's been almost 3 months, and I don't have any desire to be in another relationship. I'm definitely becoming an expert on spoiling myself There's not one part of me that wishes to be with him. I know I deserve better, and that's why i've stuck to my guns for as long as I have. I don't plan on backing down from this. There's nothing he can say that will make me change my mind. I think the reason I went through the bit of a phase that I did, is because I was sad that things ended the way that they did. I do wish things turned out differently, but they didn't. And they won't. So I don't harp on those things, but that doesn't mean I won't ever get sad that a connection that was once amazing, isn't enough to make a relationship work. Oh well!
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